Fix me

Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Chase sat on the couch beside me. Neither of us talked nor moved. We just stayed there.

"So that's it?" he said breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

"You're giving up?"

"Yes."

It's hard but I have to give up. Almost a month here is enough. Almost everyday I court her. And if that's her decision, then that's her decision.

"You can't give up."

I looked at Chase in confusion.

"I was with her that night you two broke up. She told me she'll always love you."

Hearing those made me happy. Alex did love me but what if it's gone.

"Almost a year has gone. Her feelings might have changed," I pointed out.

"Yes. But what if it didn't."

"Don't worry, Chase. Before I leave I'll settle everything."

-*-*-*-

I walked towards their door and knocked. It didn't even take me a long time because soon the front door opened.

"What are you doing here?" Mr. Grey snarled.

"I just want to talk with Alex, sir."

My stomach was churning in nervousness. This man hates me, I know it. He could beat me up and I know I wouldn't fight.

"She's not here."

"Please, sir."

"Zach," he cut me off. "She's not here. She's at the cliff."

Cliff?

"Thank you."

I rushed my way towards my car and sped to the cliff. There I saw Alex's car.

Alex sat on the edge. She was hugging her legs by her chest.

"Hey."

She looked at me. There I saw how pale she is. How tired she looked. And how much she looked like she was crying.

"I told you to go," she said.

"And I am."

If my eyes is not playing tricks I saw pain in her eyes.

"Mind if I sit with you?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Well, too bad." Taking all the cockiness I have left I smirked at her as I sat down.

Silence ruled over us. That's how it is with Alex and I now.

"I love you," I said.

Alex looked at me with no expression. Then she opened her mouth. But before she could say anything I talked.

"I wish I remembered what happened that night, better yet, I wish I didn't go that night and just stayed with you. I wish I wasn't that stupid. Because if that night didn't happen, you'd still be with me. I'd be happy. And my heart wouldn't be breaking."

"Zach," she muttered.

I held her hand on mine and brought it to my lips.

"Please take it back. Tell me you want me here," I whispered against her skin.

"I can't."

"Why?" I closed my eyes and just trailed kissed against her hands.

"I told you, I had enough."

"Enough of what?"

"Of hurting you!" she pulled away her hands.

I opened my eyes and saw tears streaming down her face.

"I am tired of this! Because me giving up would hurt you!" She screamed.

"Alex, I don't get you."

"I am done! I just want to end this!"

There I saw it. Scars on her arms. I know there are scars because I've seen it but this one looks new and fresh. She's been giving me hints that she's cutting again but I was just clueless.

Or I knew but I convinced myself that I was wrong.

"I told you to stop cutting," I whispered.

Alex looked at me in surprise then she quickly tugged the sleeves of her hoodie down.

"Why are you cutting again?"

Seeing the scars or just the mere idea of Alex hurting herself hurts me so much.

How can someone so beautiful harm herself?

"That's none of your business," she snapped.

"Maybe I want it to be my business."

"Stop."

"Maybe I want you back in my life," I continued.

"Zach, stop!"

"Why are you being like this, Alex?"

"Because I care about you."

I chuckled humorlessly. "Enough of that bullshit."

"I do! I care about you. But us being together isn't good for you. Not when I want and wish to die!" she screamed.

It was like feeling your breath being knocked out of you. Hearing the person you love tell you that she wants to die feels like that.

Alex stood in front of me. We were both standing now and I didn't even realized it. She was breathing raggedly and she looked like something she wasn't suppose to say came out. There were no more tears but for once she stood so vulnerable in front of me. Her eyes just screamed pain that made me want to wrap my arms around her body and keep her safe.

Safe from who? Herself?

"Why do you want to die?" I managed to choke.

"It's pointless."

"Life?"

She nodded her head.

"Why can't you let me make you feel like you are worth it."

She shook her head and stepped closer to me.

"We're not on the same page, Zach."

I frustratedly sighed and ran my hands on my hair. "Make me understand, Lex!"

"You thought before that being with me is your selfish part. That's exactly how I feel. I let you in, I hurt not only me but you, Zach. You thought it wasn't fair for me to be with you because you aren't going to be with me longer. It's the same for me. Because now, the tables have turned, Zach."

-*-*-*-

Hahahahaha I'm sorry but this is my original plan!

Short chapter but the second twist has arrived! For those who are confused...next chapter...

Sorry for the late update AGAIN. I'm really busy though :( Someday I'm making it up to you guys!

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