Fix me

Chapter 52

Chapter 52

Alex's P.O.V. (tada)

"Alex, wake up."

I tried to open my eyes, but I can't. My whole body feels so tired and sore.

"Please open your eyes."

It was a plead.

Open your eyes!

"I am so sorry."

Cold hands met my skin. It brushed my forehead.

"I love you."

Open your damn eyes!

Then everything went black.

-*-*-*-

My eyes opened. I scanned the room and saw Zach sleeping on the couch. My dad was seated on the chair beside me with his head on my bed.

What happened?

"Dad," I said.

He shifted his head but didn't wake up.

Before I could do anything else my door opened.

"Jake!" I gasped.

His head turned towards me. The bags that he was holding, dropped on the floor with a loud thud making the two boys sleeping wake up.

"What the hell, Jake!" Dad groaned.

"Jake," Zach hissed.

"Guys!" I snapped.

Their heads turned to me. Dad quickly wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. Soon I felt another pair of arm wrap around me. I looked up and saw my brother.

"You're back!" I said once we pulled apart.

"Of course, I'd be back," he chuckled with tears in his eyes.

I looked at Zach and saw that he was just staring at me. He looked so relieved but he's holding back. He saw me looking at him that he cleared his throat.

"Um, I'll leave you three for awhile. I'll be back later," he announced.

He didn't wait for any answer, he just walked out of the room.

"Well..." I awkwardly trailed off.

"Let's give him time," dad said. "I'll leave you two for awhile?"

Our heads nodded simultaneously.

Twinstincts.

Dad kissed my forehead and told me he loves me before going out.

Jake and I caught up. He told me every adventure he had. I was so proud of my brother! He is so successful and he's doing what he always dreamt of.

I also told him everything. When I got to the part where I started cutting he closed his eyes the whole time then said he was sorry.

"Why are you back?" I asked.

"That's a stupid question, Alex. Of course I'd be here."

"Your band is in tour."

He sighed and ran his hand to his hair. "When I received the call that you were rushed here I quickly got to a plane from Ireland. And when I got here I thought I wouldn't be able to say goodbye. You died Alex. And when I came back they were trying to revive you."

Tears flowed out of my eyes. I died.

Jake pulled me into a hug. "That's not going to happen again. I promise."

"No. Jake, when that happens again. Don't revive me."

-*-*-*-

When Jake left, Zach entered the room. With no words said he sat on the couch and just stared at me.

"I was afraid," he said.

I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.

"No, I'm afraid."

I have never seen Zach so vulnerable. His eyes were bloodshot and tears were threatening to fall. His hands were also fisted.

"I'm sorry."

"You died in front of my eyes right after I got you back. Right after we had a day. Right after you and I had the best day."

I closed my eyes and nodded my head.

"But then it's not your fault. You warned me. I know I was gonna get hurt but I stayed. I would have left and forgotten about you so I wouldn't have to feel this. But then Alex, I love you. I can't just leave. I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. And I want to fucking grow old with you!"

"You can have those. It's just that it won't be me. All I can give you is the time I have left."

Tears pricked my eyes but I don't let them out. Enough of the tears.

He leaned to me but didn't let our skins touch.

"I am so afraid to watch you die again," he whispered.

"It's okay to cry," I said when he bit his lip and blinked.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my chest. "It's not fair. I have to be strong."

"Superman cries," I said.

He chuckled. "Does he?"

"Yes."

"I love you."

"I love you too, princess."

"I have something to tell you," I said after awhile.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't want to be revived when I die again."

He closed his eyes and nodded. "I understand. Promise me something?"

"I can't stay," I said.

"I am wishing for that. But that would be so selfish of me. So I have one thing to ask you."

He closed his eyes and held my hands.

"Promise me that you'll give me time. Time to say goodbye."

-*-*-*-

Sun has fallen and the moon has risen. I stared at the night sky from my window as I laid on my bed. Zach's arms were still wrapped around me.

He has already accepted it. He knows I'm dying and all he needs is a goodbye. And I promised him that.

I let myself be enveloped to sleep.

Lin was seated on the couch with a box of tissue in her hands as she sobbed.

"Why did she have to be so stupid!" Lin cried.

I tried to stifle my laugh as I threw Lin another box of tissue.

"I mean she saw Romeo but she didn't talk!"

Lin was still sobbing.

"Will you kill yourself when the love of your life dies?"

I didn't even have to think about it.

"No."

"Why?"

"Well, I'll live my life. Because I know that's what he'll want for me. And I know that because that's what I want him to do if the tables have turned."

"You have a point."

"Why is she crying like a baby?"

The boys entered the room with their hairs wet.

-*-*-*-

When I woke up I still remember my dream. Would Zach do the same as I want myself to do when I die?

Zach smiled at me and kissed my lips. "Good morning, sleepy head. You'll be discharged today."

"Yay!" I cheered.

He laughed and kissed my forehead.

"Zach?"

"Yup?"

"Remember that night when you asked me to move in with you?" I awkwardly said.

He nodded his head with his eyebrows tugged together.

"I'm wondering if that offers still stands?"

"That offer still stands," he smirked.

"I think I should tell my dad then."

-*-*-*-

The house never changed! Last time I've been was a year ago more or less.

"You want to go to our room?"

"Our?" I choked.

He smirked. "What? What's the point of living together when we don't sleep together."

My cheeks blushed making him chuckle.

He walked towards me and stroked my cheeks. "I love how much you blush."
He leaned and kissed my cheek.

"I'm kidding, Alex. If you want you can have the guest room. Or I'll have the guest room."

"No. It's okay. I just need time before we um..." I trailed off with my blush growing darker.

He laughed. "You have a dirty mind."

I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "I'm sorry. I just remembered..."

"I'm sorry I laughed. I guess I'll have to control myself."

-*-*-*-

We both laid on the bed. I repeated the day we had together. Sky diving, bungee jumping and the concert. That's when it clicked to me. He did some of the things in my bucketlist I told him a long time ago.

"How did you remember my bucketlist?"

"I had it tattooed in my mind," he said.

"You're amazing!"

He smirked. "I know."

"Annoying."

"You love it."

-*-*-*-

That night I felt pain in my body. I didn't want to tell Zach since we had an awesome day awhile ago.

I gripped the sheets tighter as I felt another surge of pain. I can't identify where it was coming from since it was everywhere.

A moan of pain escaped my lips making me bite into my lip harder until I tasted blood. I can't feel the pain on my lips since the pain in my body was the inly thing I could think of. It was cold but I can feel myself sweating.

"Lex?" Zach said groggily.

"Hmm?" I asked keeping my eyes closed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

The pain was getting worse. That's when I can't hold it anymore... I released a scream

Zach was immediately in front of me. His hands were on the sides of my face. "I'm bringing you to the hospital."

"No," I muttered. "Get me my pain killers and sleeping pill."

He hesitated a bit but when another scream came out of my mouth he rushed towards my bag and grabbed my pills. He's by my side in seconds and handed me two pills. Without any water I devoured it.

The pain was still there but it was subsiding.

Soon enough I felt myself being enveloped to sleep again.

"I love you, princess."