Boys Like You

Chapter 21

Scarlet's Pov

Do you ever feel...frozen? Like, you've momentarily forgotten how to feel? Like, you've pushed your fears down and they are just fighting to get back up? I should be scared. Terrified, even. Yet, I still remain calm; so very, very calm. It's almost like I'm waiting for something bad to happen. My emotions are a ticking time bomb, and eventually I will bend and break. Eventually, I will fall. But I guess for now I just have to keep fighting. Sometimes we just need to forget about what's going to happen, and concentrate on what is happening right now, in this very moment. I've learned to love every moment that comes, because each one could be the last. Each smile, each laugh, each hug, each kiss, each breath, could be my last.

I sniffled loudly and wiped the tears away from my swollen eyes, smiling as I approached the dirty, red and rusted door. I shuffled nervously on my feet, trying to pluck up some courage to knock. Closing over my eyes I breathed in deeply, raising my hand, allowing my knuckles to lightly hit against the door.

"Hang on. I'm comin'" I heard his voice yell.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the sound of him scurrying around on the other side of the door. I shook my head, hiding my amusement as the door slowly pulled open. His dull green eyes met the boring brown of mine and his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Tommy." I weakly smiled, noticing that he wasn't his usual happy self.

"Scar." He gulped, pulling a white t-shirt over his exposed torso.

"You've been avoiding me." I sighed, trying my best to disguise my obvious hurt.

He chuckled nervously and forced a smile onto his lips, but I could see right through his act.

"What? Don't be daft, I ain't been avoiding you." He insisted, reaching out his hand to my shoulder.

I bit on my trembling lower lip as tears formed in my eyes. I knew he was lying, but I didn't know what I had done. I didn't know anything, not anymore. His fake smile fell and worry creased his features as he placed both hands on my shoulders.

"Hey, Scar, why are you crying?" He asked, his eyes filled with concern as tears fell from my eyes.

"I don't know." I mumbled, throwing my arms around his neck.

I sobbed into the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around me; embracing me in a tight hug as he pulled me into his house. I heard the door slam shut, but I still couldn't let go.

"I feel like I'm going insane." I sobbed. "I'm so lost."

I held on tighter, wrapping my fingers in his t-shirt as he stroked my hair.

"An...and I tried...I tried to speak to...H...Harry...but he's been gone. And I didn't think you wanted to talk to me, but... but I had nowhere else to go." I sobbed, struggling to catch my breath.

He pulled me closer and sighed heavily, doing his best to calm me down; but I couldn't stop. I had spent so long trying to keep my sadness hidden, but nothing stays hidden forever. I had been slowly going out of my mind. Harry was gone. He said he was working on something important with Cooper. He called every day, and he made sure Zayn was keeping a close eye out; but It wasn't the same. I needed him here. I needed him with me. I couldn't stop worrying. My mind kept replaying every bad scenario that could possibly happen; What if something bad happened to him? What if he was in trouble? Or worse yet, what if he was doing something dangerous to save me?

Tommy shh'd me as he swayed us back and forth.

"I don't want this." I whispered.

"Want what, babe?" He asked, looking at me with wide eyes as he put me at arms length.