Fate (Niall Horan - Completed)

THIRTY SIX

I lay awake next to sleeping Niall. He breathes loud and steady but it can't relax my mind. Aaron said he loves me. I don't know if he was just drunk or if he really meant it. Out of the all the other boys, he was the least drunk. Maybe had a beer or two. Can he still think probably then? Did he really mean it?

On one side, I really want to talk to him about it, but one the other side, I don't want to approach that subjects now. I just want to spend the day with Niall before he drives off to Mullingar tomorrow morning. I just want to spend time with my boyfriend but will it be possible? My mind is somewhere else and I know that Niall will notice that something is up. He always does.

I just don't understand why Aaron tells me that he loves me now. He knows that I'm happy with Niall. He knows that I don't feel anything for him other than friendship anymore. He knows that. So why is he telling me that now? He had plenty of time during summer. Okay, I have to admit that I was only half way really there. Most of the time, I spent at home and was oblivious, but still, he could have told me. Maybe things would have gone different.

I shake my head. I should not think about things that could have gone different if things were different from the beginning. I'm with Niall and I love him and nothing could reduce or take my feelings away from him. Niall has control over me and I let him. I let him make me happy and take my focus of school and to him. I let him distract me, because that's what makes me happy. Since I can remember, being happy was and is still one thing I always wanted. And I have it when I'm with Niall. I have the happiness that no one else can give me. Since we met, I felt better. He's like the missing piece to me. He's the happiness in my life. The sunshine that lights up my world. I shouldn't focus on what Aaron said while he was drunk. I should focus on Niall and the way he makes me feel. I should focus on Niall, on what he says that makes me heart warm up, on the things he does that are extremely cheesy but make me love him even more. I should focus on us and not on things that my ex said as he was drunk.

I still love you..., I hear Aaron's voice in my hear and see his face in front of my eyes. I shake my head yet again and continue to stare at the ceiling. He didn't mean it, I tell myself. He was just drunk, I say to calm myself down and hope that I'm right. But then again, I told Niall that I love him when I was drunk. I meant it and can only hope that Aaron's didn't. He can't. He just can't mean it. He can't love me. I love Niall and that's not going to change but the scene of last night is just stuck to my head. I still love you, he said. Aaron... my first boyfriend said that.

I think about it too much but I can't think of anything else. Maybe I still have feelings for him too? I shake that thought out of my head and am surprised that Niall didn't wake up from me shaking my head every minute. I don't have feelings for Aaron. It has been over a year since we dated and I love Niall way too much. With Aaron I never had a connection like I have with Niall. And With Aaron it was never complicated like it has been with Niall. But I don't care how complicated it might get between Niall and I. We'll stick together and I know that. I know that we'll end up together. Complications or not, it's now too late to stop. Everything that happened between me and Niall only brought me deeper into our relationship and I'm totally fine with that. I wouldn't do anything different. I love Niall and Aaron was just drunk.

I should stop thinking too much about things that don't matter.

"Princess..." Niall groans and tears me out of my thoughts. I move onto my side and stroke Niall's cheek. "Princess." Niall mumbles but doesn't open his eyes.

"Niall." I smile as he runs his fingers though his hair and touches my hand with his. He stokes my hand that's on his cheek and slowly opens his eyes. If I could, I would never leave his side. If I could, I would stop the time and just enjoy this moment forever. I could look forever into his blue eyes and hear his thick Irish accent in the morning.