I Hate Zayn Malik jk

xmas day

We all sit around the Christmas tree as Fuckachoo and Gertrude pass out the presents.

. They done now.

Shalissa farts open her present first. "Who this from neega?"

"Me." Crysantha says. Shalissa pulls out light brown uggs.

I'm next and

"Thx." I am next I see its from Heather, Gertrude, Fuckachoo, Harry, Rip Ronald.

I pull out a dick. "Is it a dildo?" I ask.

"A real D neega!!" Harry screams clapping they all start clapping.

"Who dick?" Shalissa says as she starts licking the head and fingering herself. "It's so big."

"And black." FUCkkBOI says oops I mean fuckaboo. I mean Fuckachoo.

"Jerry," Heather says cupping the balls. She starts rubbing them and sucking on them.

Gertrude and Trent who lives with us now start making out. They steal the dick and run away with it.

"Get back here!" Harry says trynna figh Gertude and Trent n shit. They end up having a 3 sum and shat. Heather cummmmm in the room and joins. After they all cum we all continue with presents.

Heather grabs the gift I got her. She unwraps the Donald trump wrapping paper fucking slut. She pulls out a poster of my ass. "Omg thanks!!!!!!" she says hugging me. I hug her to and see my birth mark on my ass ( tru story I have one ) and I become self concoos and shit.

"I love your birthmark bby. Looks like shit!" Heather says smiling at me. I send her a genuine smile and look down at my hands. My shit birthmark makes her cum and sheet.

After finishing with gifts we all go to this little diner, the only diner in Antarctica and it's only open of Christmas. The door dings and our huge family steps into the diner. We get seated.

"Move i am sitting by Heather," Harry says as I seat next to my baby. "Please X7" Harry moans.

"Your a bitch," I push him in the seat next to me and order a plate of bacon and a glass of cum. "What type of cum is it?" I ask the ugly mole above eye (httprowanmeyer harrison thinks jasmine is 250 point short mole above eye)  waitress.

"I believe it came from the Sharks at sea so very rare," She says writing shit down in her note pad. Bitch.

"That'll do you slut," She turns to Heather.

"What would you like?" she asks.

"Bitch wait and I'll tell you and your mole," Heather says lookin over the menu one last time. "3 over easy eggs, 7.892 pieces of toast, fish cum-"

"We don't have fish cum." The waitress says.

"You do now." Heather brushes her off. "Anyways, interrupt me again and I'll fuck you and your bitch ass son up." I look over and see a little boy coloring a picture. Drinking cum. Hope he get shark AIDS little bitch. "Make sure my 7.892 pieces of toast ain't fuckin burnt I want them slightly brown and lightly coated with butter and a very slim coat of Nutella on 1.828 pieces of toast out of me 7.892 pieces." Heather looks finished.

"Is that all?" The waitress says still scribbling this down in a rush.

"Yes betch." Heather screams and throws mine and hers menus and the lady.

She turns to Trent. "I be ordering fish dick."

"You mean fish sticks?" She corrects him.

"I said fucking fish dick not fish sticks I want dick you little asshole. Baby come back sike bitch I don't want you fuck a you and your grandma to bitch wtf is up??" Trent sings gracefully.

"That completes my order." Trent says. The waitress takes a heavy breath as she looks at Fuckachoo, Gertrude and Jizzman.

"They will have cum in a sippie." Heather orders for her children.

"Can I order yet "?????!!" Harry sighs.

"Omg... ur Harry styles!" The waitress screams and Heather twat shots her and she falls to the ground.

"Get up and waitress," Harry screams. She does as she is told. "Can I please have a stack of pancakes, light cost of butter and lots of cum syrup on top? Fluffed with whipcream?" Harry asks britishly politely.

"Yes, yes." The waitress moans as she fingers her oussy. Heather chops her fingers off and throws it at Trent and Trent screams cuz it has womenly Oater on it and he throws it and me and I scream cuz it smell like fish and I throw it at harry and it goes down his throat then Heather gets mad at harry cuz he ate another girls finger and Harry gets mad at me cuz I threw the finger down his throat then we all kill the waitress and take her son with us but he's annoying so we kill him. We all go home and we stole all the diners food so we are chilling watching Christmas movies while we eat food.

"Guys, I need a man." I say trynna act tough and shit.

"Fuck yeah!" Ronald screams even tho he dead. Heather kills him and he leaves.

"Omg member when that 8 year old girl sent u nudes?" Heather says laughing at our kik days.

"Yeah that bitch said she was 18." I scream at the kik girl named U.U like bitch tf.

"And the LBGT chats," Trent adds and nobody else gets it but us. "And when Emily pooped and the old lady yelled at her.

"And when me and Heather killed jerry," I say, imagining his stupid memes that we hated.

"Uncle Gary and Aunt Jane," Heather tears up and so do I.

"I really do love you guys," I say and my heart clenches. Trent and Heather are my people they are my rock and I love them to death.

"I love you to. Member that boi u used to date that said Ily the first day," Heather pulls up his picture and I laugh cuz he's ugly.

"Member when Trent dissapeered for hours and we know he be lurking," I glare at Trent.

"Ronald lurked to that bitch!!!" Heather shoots Ronald again. He leaves and cries.

"I thought you married Lexi Trent?" I ask

"Yeah my daughter!!" Crysantha screams .tbh I fucked this whole book up idek I thought I also kicked Jizzman out but apparently she still here and I thought we had a sex slave named maddie idek.

Fuck me

happy New Years

Hope u have a shitty time

Hope the ball drops like ur dads