The Mind of an Insecure Person

Jessica

Dear diary,

my due date is getting near and I'm becoming nervous. I don't know what to expect because already, my stomach is killing me. The baby has been kicking and I've been getting cramp-like pains in my stomach. I'm scared.

I invited Cole and my dad to come if they wanted to. Cole said he would, but my dad said he will try his best to get there after work.

Also, I found out awhile back in my pregnancy what the baby is going to be.

I'm going to be having a girl.

I think I want to name her Ariana or maybe Nevaeh. I also don't know the last name yet. Will I give her mine or the fathers?

Most likely the fathers.

I'm currently sitting in my bed, holding my gigantic stomach as the baby kicked.

Ow. I rubbed my stomach.

Jonathan was coming over soon. Well, he should be coming or on his way.

I started to waddle my way down the stairs as best I could and went to the kitchen. Man, can I say when you are pregnant, you have some weird ass cravings.

I opened the fridge and began to look around to see what I could eat. I saw pickles. For some odd reason, a pickle and peanut butter sandwich sounded delicious.

Again, the cravings you get are some weird ass ones, but they sound good to you.

I got out the bread and began to spread the peanut butter around, then I chopped up the pickles and spread them around the sandwich. I put away the stuff and then took a bite of the sandwich.

Mmmm, this was some good ass stuff right here.

As I was finishing my sandwich, the doorbell rung.

I waddled my way over to the door and opened it.

"Hey, babe! How ya feeling?"

"Good." I said.

He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "Is that peanut butter and pickles I smell?"

I laughed. "Don't judge me."

He smiled at me and kissed me anyway.

He helped me up the stairs and then we sat on my bed.

"Are you ready to be a father?" I asked him.

He grinned. "Kind of. I'm scared."

"Me too."

We laid there in bed and he rubbed my stomach and felt the baby kicking.

Surprisingly, since the pregnancy, we have gotten more closer than we have been before.

Later on in the day, I woke up with contractions. I shook Jonathans shoulder and he woke up.

"Babe," I said, "I think it's time."

"Time for what?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Birth. I think I'm about to have the baby."

He shoot out of bed and helped me to the car. I began to call everyone and let them know I'm on my way to the hospital.

I began to breathe in and out, inhaling and exhaling.

Here is to a new life. A new baby coming in to the world.

Love always,

Jessica Knot, the girl with a dysfunctional mind.