The Mind of an Insecure Person

Jessica

Dear diary,

I can't believe Jonathan proposed to me. It is unbelievable.

I sat there on the edge of my bed, rocking Nevaeh back and forth in my arms. The ring shimmered in the light coming from the window. I smiled as I examined the ring. It was beautiful and I am so lucky to have a beautiful man in my life. I'll get to be married to him and we have the most beautiful baby girl together.

I got up and laid Nevaeh down in her crib and made my way over to my stand to get my phone. I opened a new text;

I love you, babe. :)

I pushed my phone in my back pocket and went downstairs to get something to eat and drink. I began to rummage through the cupboards to find something. I had the sudden urge to eat pretzels and ranch. I grabbed a bag of pretzels from the cupboard and made way over to grab a bowl and then get the ranch. I grabbed a Coke from the fridge and then made my way back upstairs.

I set down the bowl and the pretzels and checked my phone.

I love you too, darling. I'll be over in a couple minutes.

I smiled and then replied, YAY! :)

I opened my Coke quietly and then began to eat. MMMM! I said with enjoyment. This is delicious!

As I was eating, the doorbell rang. I ran down the stairs and opened the door. Jonathan greeted me with kisses.

"You taste like ranch and pretzels." he smiled.

"I know!" I giggled. "I was just eating it."

He smiled and kissed me again. We went up to my room and I closed the door. He checked on Nevaeh and smiled. "She's so cute."

I smiled. "She is your kid."

He hugged me. We sat on my bed and I began to eat more.

"Is it really that good?" he asked, smiling.

"Yes!"

He grabbed a pretzel and dipped it in ranch. As he ate it, he smiled. "It is good!"

I smiled.

A little later, we both sat on the floor playing with Nevaeh. She was sitting on her butt and swinging her hands ferociously with her toy keys in her hand. She was giggling and smiling as we kept blowing raspberries on her stomach and poking her stomach.

As it was getting later in the night, Jonathan began to rock Nevaeh to sleep while I got ready for bed. When she fell asleep, he gently laid her down in the crib and then came over to me and kissed me. He began to strip off his shirt and then his pants, then laid down beside me. I kissed him again and cuddled up close to him.

Nights like these are ones I love the most.

Love always,

Jessica Knot, the girl with a dysfunctional mind.