Her Life Of Maybes

Chapter Seven

Trinity made sure to set her clock early the next morning. When her phones alarm went off at nine, though, she began to regret that decision. Groaning, she just lay there for a few minutes, trying to get her brain to wake up. The alarm was still going, but it was just background noise to her.

Moving her body a little, she felt sore and achy, probably because of all the extra walking around and moving she had been doing lately. Trinity shifted to sit up and things went dark. Panicking, she started screaming.

Almost immediately, she heard her parent's door slam open, and footsteps came closer and closer to her door. As soon as they were in the room Trinity's dad ran to her side, holding her face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Trinity was crying and blinking, trying to regain her vision. "I- I can't see, Daddy. Everything is just black."

A loud sob ripped out of her throat. She suddenly felt sweaty, and her blood was racing. Her breaths became shallow as her mouth felt dry and her throat began to close. "Dad, I can't... I can't breath."

Trinity heard her mother's frantic voice whisper that Trinity was having a panic attack. Somewhere in her mind, she knew she should try to calm down and slow her breathing, but there was a more dominant part of her brain screaming bloody murder because her sight was gone.

Her dads arm went behind her shoulders, and he pushed her up, very gently, into a sitting position.

"Look Trin, we're gonna bring you to the hospital, okay? I need you to- is that blood?"

That set Trinity off again as she screamed, "What?! Blood?! I don't feel-"

She stopped. She could feel it. Something wet and warm was dripping down her neck and into her shirt.

Her brain began to spin with thoughts of her skin, dripping red, pale and sickly. She thought she had at least two months left; she had so much she still wanted to do and say. She wasn't ready to die, not yet.

Right before she passed out, a blurry face passed through her mind, and a name escaped her lips in a breathy whisper. "Julian."

Trinity's body gave a slight twitch as she started to gain consciousness. She moaned at the pain in her head, and tried to move her hand to rub it, but found it attached to something. When she pulled on it, it pinched painfully.

She tried to open her eyes, and even though she could feel herself blinking, she couldn't see a thing. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she tried to stay calm, remembering what happened the last time she freaked out.

Sniffing, she wrinkled her nose. Hospital. Of course that's where she was. She wasn't sure if she should be grateful that she wasn't dead yet, or annoyed that she was, once again, stuck in a sick bed.

The door to her room opened and he moved her head towards the sound. "Hello?"

"Hey there Miss Velazquez. Are you able to see, or is the vision still out?"

She blinked. She knew that voice; it was the same doctor that took care of her when she first found out she was sick. Doctor Tanner.

She realized she hadn't answered yet, and coughed out a weak, "I'm still blind."

She imagined that he was nodding his head and heard him talk once again. "Well, I don't think that the vision impairment will be permanent, its happened before to other patients, but it always comes back eventually. We'll just have to wait it out. Other than that, I wanted to talk to you about the bleeding. Do you remember that?"

Trinity just nodded silently.

Doctor Tanner continued, "Well, that was from your right ear. It seems like the tumor has spread slightly to the right side of your brain, and it caused some minor swelling, which is what caused the bleeding. We managed to control the situation and the swelling went down, and you should be okay now."

Trinity scoffed, not caring if she was being a rude brat. "I should be okay now, Doc? Why aren't you sure that I'll be okay? Isn't that your job?"

The doctor let out a sigh that sounded more sympathetic than annoyed or offended. "You've got to understand, Trinity, we don't come by these cases very often. For one, chondrosarcomas are really rare. They almost never happen and when they do, it's usually in men three times your age. Also, when they do happen, they usually aren't malignant. Yours is. In the past fifteen years, there have only been about eight cases of a chondrosarcoma, and none of them come close to yours in comparison. I'm sorry, we're doing everything we can for you... there just isn't a lot to go on."

Trinity nodded and sniffed, holding back tears. "Okay doctor, I'm sorry. I really appreciate you helping me, its just that I - I'm kind of scared."

The doctor patted her leg, "Understandable. But, if it's any consolation, you're handling this well and you're being very brave, in my opinion."

She smiled and whispered her thanks.

"Do you want me to call your parents, Trinity? Its about five in the morning, so they aren't here yet."

Trinity gasped, "It's Monday?!"

The doctor replied solemnly, "It's Wednesday. You've been out a while."

Trinity swore under her breath. Julian. She doubted her parents had spoken to him, and she had missed three tutoring sessions with him. He was probably confused, if he wasn't pissed off. She swore again.

"Uh," the doctor said uncertainly. "Trinity? Your parents?"

"Yes, call them please," she said irritably.

By the time her parents arrived, Trinity was already beginning to get her sight back, only a bit though. She could see the fuzzy outline of shapes, and she saw the outline of her parents rushing to her side as they came through the door.

The fussed over her for about ten minutes before Trinity finally managed to convince them that she was perfectly okay. Her dad left, reluctantly, to grab some coffee from the cafeteria.

Her mom cleared her throat as soon as he was gone from the room. "So," she began in a teasing voice, "who is Julian."

That's all Nessa had to say for Trinity's face to burn red. "What do you mean?"

Nessa laughed, "Don't play stupid. You said his name right before you passed out Sunday. Who is he?"

Trinity sighed, "A boy I'm tutoring."

Her mom nudged her lightly, "Ooh, a boy? Is he hot?"

Trinity gasped, "MOM!"

She just laughed, "What? I'm just asking! He must be pretty important to you if you were thinking about him while bleeding and having a panic attack. And if he is, I imagine he's attractive."

Trinity just shook her head. "He's cute... well, actually, he's pretty gorgeous. He's really tall and tan. His eyes are green, and when I say green, I mean green. He's got the cutest dimple in the world, and mom, he's really amazing. He loves music as much as I do, if not more. Anytime we're together, we just laugh and goof around. He makes me forget I'm sick, you know? With him, I'm Trin, the smart girl who can talk music and movies and loves to be a dork. I'm not Trinity, the girl with one foot in the grave."

At this point, Trinity was crying. Her mom wrapped her arms around her and kissed her forehead as Trinity continued talking.

"I'm so scared mom. We've gotten really close, and it's only been a few weeks. By the time I'm gone, I'm afraid I'll be too attached. Or even worse, he'll be too attached. I don't want to hurt him mom, I really don't. But I can't avoid him, not now that we're friends and I'm his tutor. And I can't tell him what's wrong and warn him, he'll treat me differently. I won't be able to handle it. Worst of all... I don't wanna die, mommy... I don't."

She couldn't handle it anymore, and Trinity broke down.

Nessa just rocked her back and forth in her arms. Her face was also covered in tears. She ran her fingers through her daughter's hair, whispering that it would be okay,that everything would work out. It was no use, though.

They both knew she was lying.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

This came out completely different than what I had originally planned, but I guess we shall see where it goes.. (:

Enjoy!

-Alyssa xx