Her Life Of Maybes

Chapter Twenty

Julian walked into the living room with his hands hidden behind his back and leaned over the back of Trinity's couch to give her a kiss.

"Hey baby," he said cheerfully.

She gave him a small dull smile in response and turned her head back towards the television.

Julian was used to the mood she was currently in. Her mental health had taken a nosedive in the past week, but he could always cheer her up.

He maneuvered to the front of the couch still keeping whatever was behind his back hidden while also turning off the TV.

Trinity let out a groan. "Julian. Stop being a dick. I just want to watch my show right now."

Julian shook his head. "I'll let you get back to that in a second. But first," he said excitedly, "I'd like to ask you something."

She rolled her eyes. "Go on."

"Darling, will you go to prom with me?" he asked while offering her a shy smile and a purple flower. It had a ribbon wrapped around the stem with "Prom?" written across it in Julian's handwriting.

Trinity immediately shook her head and Julian's face fell.

"What," he whispered. "Why not?"

"What do you mean why not Julian?" she exploded. "Have you taken a look at me lately? Don't you see me?"

"Yeah, so? You're beautiful," he said with a confused look on his face.

"Beautiful," she scoffed. "My hair is thinning out. My skin looks like it hasn't seen the sun in years. Everything about me looks like its falling apart. I'm rotting, Julian, and prom is the last place I want to be."

He was already standing up, a look of anger on his face.

"Fucking hell, Trinity. You don't look nearly half as bad as you're convinced you do. You're beautiful. Always have been, always will be. And yeah, you look sick, but that's because you are. Why would you let that stop you from this experience? Isn't that the opposite of what you wanted this cancer to do to you?"

"I don't have a fucking choice in this disease stopping me from the things I should be doing, Julian! Its killing me! Don't you see that? Its going to take away my chances of college and marriage and kids, so why the fuck do I care if it takes prom too? I'm done fighting!"

"Don't do this, Trin. There isn't a bone in your body willing to ever give up. You're having a bad day bu-"

Trinity cut him off. "Bad day?" she laughed dryly. "Try bad last couple of months."

Julian took a step back, hurt shown clearly on his face.

"Bad couple of months? How can you say that? These last few months were ours, Trinity. Ours. How could you say they were bad when we've done so much together, grown so close?"

Trinity had her palms pressed into her eyes in an attempt to stanch the tears and ward off the headache she felt coming on.

"Just go please."

"Trinity," Julian protested.

"Go."

She heard Julian's grunt of frustration. And a few seconds later, she heard the front door open and shut.

Trinity dropped her hands from her head and looked around for her phone. As soon as she found it, it began to ring.

Sky.

She answered it with a sigh.

"Trin? You there? I just got a text from Julian saying that I should call you. Are you okay?"

"Fine," she mumbled dejectedly. "We just got into a fight."

"A fight," Sky questioned in surprise. "You two fight?"

Trinity laughed at her friends tone despite the situation. "No, not really. We have small disagreements here and there, but we don't really fight."

"Well then, tell me what happened."

Trinity explained the situation. Julian asked her to prom. She said no. Things escalated, she ordered him to get out and he did. And now, she was sure he'd never want to see her again.

The first thing Sky said when Trinity had her say was, "You're an idiot."

"Excuse me?"

"Excuse yourself. I get that you've had a shitty attitude lately and that's expected. I'm not gonna leave your side for that. But, you can't just explode on people like that, especially not Julian.

"He's been through so much with you in these past few months alone. ANY time you needed him, he jumped through hoops to make you happy. All he wants to do is make sure you live what little life you have left to the fullest. We both thought that's what you wanted."

"I do," Trinity said desperately, trying to make Sky understand. "Its just that prom is supposed to be the night of your life. You're supposed to feel gorgeous, like a princess, and I just don't."

Sky sighed. "A month to live and you're still the most beautiful girl at school. I don't know why you can't see that. That's not the issue here anyways. The issue is that you just brushed off all the time you spent with Julian like it was shit on the bottom of your shoe when we both know you've never been happier than you have been lately with him."

"You're right."

"I know I am. Now get off the phone with me and apologize to that poor boy."

Sky hung up with no bye, as usual. Trinity sat staring at her phone. Even if she did try to apologize to Julian, she doubted that he'd want to see her. Why was she such an idiot?

She sagged back into the sofa and stared at the popcorn on her ceiling. Her moms eyes suddenly peeked over the edge and she gave a slight shriek.

"Yes?"

Her mom looked confused. "Just wanted to know why your boyfriend is sitting on the front step like a lost puppy."

Trinity sat up immediately.

"Is he really?"

Her mother nodded, still unsure of what was going on.

Trinity scuttled off the couch and ran to the front door, slamming into it slightly when her socks caused her to slide. She shook off the bump and opened the door to see her guy sitting on the ground with his head against the porch. He looked up at her as the door opened and smiled.

"Better?"

She nodded, a little shy and ashamed at the way she acted.

"Why are you still here?"

He stood up and brushed off his backside.

"Because, I knew you'd talk to Sky and she'd knock some sense into you. And I wanted to be here for you once she did. I already told you, darling, I'm here for you. Every step of the way, even if you're raging and psychotic and hate me, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Trinity stepped into him just as he brought his arms up to hold her. They were in perfect sync.

"And," he said into her ear, "if you really don't want to go to prom, we don't have to."

Trinity nodded her head in relief. "Thanks Juju," she whispered into his shirt.

"Anytime."