Her Life Of Maybes

Chapter Twenty Six

After that first day in the hospital, Trinity’s condition took a nosedive.

Her mood swings were happening more often and to a more severe degree. She lashed out on everybody for the smallest things.

Wake her up – there was yelling.

Forget that she ordered a side of fries with her food – there was even more yelling.

Tell her something she didn’t particularly want to hear – the yelling never stopped.

Julian knew that everybody else made the mood swings a symptom of the tumor that was eating her brain, but he knew it was more than that.

The mood swings were coming from a darker place inside of Trinity. She knew time was almost out, every day was a gamble for her. That information was something she couldn’t process. She felt too out of control, too helpless. So she did the only thing that gave her some sense of control. She was aggressive and demanding, two words that normally did not fit her nature.

Julian understood, though. He didn’t blame her for the spiral she was on, she was completely entitled to feel her emotions the way she wanted to.

Today had marked three weeks since Trinity was permanently checked into the hospital. Julian never left her side anymore.

He ate there, showered there, slept there – everything.

He wasn’t willing to lose even a single second of time he had left with Trinity. He knew time was close to running out.

But he didn’t know just how close until the doctor spoke softly to him, Sky and Trinity’s parents outside of her room.

“We don’t expect any more than a few days with her. You’ll want to prepare yourselves and say your goodbyes as soon as possible.”

The words pounded against Julian’s eardrums and he immediately wanted to shut down in denial, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to be reasonable about this. They all knew it was coming, and know theu knew more or less when it was coming.

The four of them nodded to the doctor and entered the room with an air of sadness around them.

Trinity picked up on the mood instantly and simmered her mood down.

She knew they were aware of her diminishing time when her mom started to walk down memory lane with her.

She talked about Trinity’s first day of dance.

Her daughter had not wanted to go dance in a room full of strangers. At that young age, she had been incredibly shy.

But, to her surprise, Trinity busted into her mother’s car an hour and a half later saying that if she ever took Trinity out of dance, there’s no way she could go on.

She had been a very dramatic adolescent too.

Her dad laughed when he explained how Trinity received her first vinyl. It was an old Beatles one that he had in his collection and decided to pass down. When he handed the large disc to her, Trinity has stared at it for a solid minute, confusion clear in her large eyes, before she looked at her dad and whispered, “What is it?”

Sky even told everybody about their first kiss. They had been at some stupid party, playing stupid games, and the kiss wasn’t bad as far as first kisses went.

“In fact,” Sky said, winking at her best friend, “it was probably the best one I’ve had to date.”

She leaned over and pecked Trinity on the lips and threw a discreet glance in Julian’s direction.

His face was assembled in a glare that was aimed at her and Sky roared in laughter and Trinity’s mom and dad just shook their heads in amusement.

Trinity’s heart swelled with love and affection. She knew everyone was saying bye, but for the first time since being diagnosed, she didn’t feel overwhelming sadness when she thought about her passing. Scared, yes, but she wasn’t sad anymore. How could she be when she had lived a life full of nothing but adoration from those she cared about most.

When it was time to go, Sky stood first, coming over to hug Trinity. She did not cry. Trinity thought she was in the same place as herself. They all knew it was time and they were happy for the small amount of time they did get to have each other in their lives.

Julian watched as one by one, Sky and Trin’s parents hugged her tight and whispered words too low for him to understand into her ear.

By the look on her face, he knew those words were ones of goodbye.

When they were gone, Trinity only needed to look at Julian before he knew what she needed.

He climbed into the small bed next to her and wrapped her up in his arms.

They talked and shared their own memories that had been too personal to tell the others.

They spoke about the first time Trinity saw Julian and had wanted to punch him in the face for being late. Julian told her how scared he had been when she disappeared those few days when they had just become friends.

Words flowed between them and it was so apparent how much they cared for one another. Before anything, Trinity and Julian had been best friends and it was one of the best things to ever happen to either of them.

They talked well after midnight until their voices became slurred murmurs, too exhausted to form full sentences, but too scared to stop all together.

Trinity looked up at her boyfriend, her angel that had appeared with bright eyes and brighter colored hair to get her through the last few months in one piece. He had done everything she hadn’t known she needed him to do for her.

More importantly, he had never given up on her.

“Hey, baby boy. I love you,” she whispered into the dark room, staring at the faint outline of his eyes.

“When I’m not here,” she continued, “I just want you to remember that I’m always with you.”

She touched his heart, right above the new tattoo on his chest. “I’m here.”

Julian kissed her, again and again, unable to say anything but, “I love you.”

Eventually, Trinity’s breathing slowed and she laid against her boyfriend’s chest.

His arm tightened around her, holding her tight so she wouldn’t leave him.

The last thoughts that flitted through Trinity’s mind before everything went black were ones of peace. She was exactly where she wanted to be.

Julian felt Trinity relax on him completely and didn’t think anything of it until the machine next to them let out a long beep sound. His heart stopped before he burst into action.

He launched himself off the bed, screaming desperately down the hallway for somebody to come, for somebody to help her.

Even as he stood in the doorway and watched as various people tried to revive his best friend, he could tell that this was it. There were no maybes in this situation.

Trinity was gone.