Things I Could Never Tell You

221

August 5, 5:10 pm.

I went to Sophie's house today. Her mom tried telling me that she wasn't there.

"Mrs. Burke, I really need to speak with your daughter," I interrupted her when she tried telling me that Sophie wasn't home once more.

"I told you, Stephanie, she's not here," She smiled.

"Mrs. Burke, look, I know that you never liked your daughter going out with me." I started, taking a deep breath. "But right now, I just need you to drop the attitude because I need to speak with her urgently," I inhaled, trying my best to control my temper.

She just pursed her lips together and placed her hand on her hip.

"It's okay, mom. I wanna talk to her," Sophie appeared, walking on the stairs.

Mrs. Burke nodded and walked over to the kitchen. And there she stood. The person with whom I had spent nights awake studying for that French test. The person who I considered to be my best friend. And the person who turned out to be the second biggest liar in my life.

"Hey," She muttered. She had red eyes and grays under them.

"Hey," I forced a smile. Anyone passing by could notice that there was something tense going on between us.

She let out a yawn. Her hair was up in a pony tail and she wore pajamas.
"I know, I look horrible," She failed at an attempt of a joke.

"We need to talk," I told her. She just nodded and motioned for me to come upstairs to her room. We got there and I sat in her bed.

"What has been happening, Soph?" I blurted out. "We used to tell each other everything. I can't go through that again." I told her meaningfully.

"I tried, Stephanie. I tried to put myself back together, but I just can't, you know?" She asked me and I nodded.

I remember that phase in my life. I couldn't get out of bed and I stayed basically the whole day locked in my dark room.

"You know I do, Sophie. You were there when that happened to me," I said, looking down at my feet.

"This is because of one guy. Wow, I would always tell myself that I'd never allow myself to suffer for someone, yet I'm here, in this state." She sighed.

"Yeah, we can't control the pain we feel. And neither can we control the person we feel pain for." I licked my lips and sighed.

"Stephanie?" She asked, putting a loose strand of hair that fell from her pony tail behind her ear.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Remember that day I asked you if you loved Tyler or not?" She questioned.

I felt like turning back and running away. But I didn't. I have been running away from things for way too long now. I have to put on some attitude and face what has been troubling me all this time.

"Yeah," I responded.

"Why did you lie to me?" She asked.

"I can ask you the same," I told her. She lifted up her face and faced me.

"What?" She questioned.

"I saw the text, Sophie? Why did you do that to me? Out of all people, you? I trusted you, Sophie." I told her.

Her eyes widened. "H-How did you know?" She asked me.

"I found my old phone," I told her.

"I'm so sorry," She croaked.

"Sorry can't fix that you went behind my back, Sophie. I trusted you! You were my best friend!" I exclaimed.

"Were?" She asked, her eyes glistened with something that looked like hurt.

"I don't know. I don't know anything." I said truthfully.

"I was blinded, Stephanie. I didn't care about anything. I spent all these months obesessing over the person I thought he could be. And when he kissed me, it only made me fantasize more about something that wasn't real. But when that moment ended, I realized that I was being used all along. I realize the person that Tyler truly was." She said. A small tear fell from her eyes.

I faced the floor. I know how hard it could be when you wwre blinded by an illusion of someone.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I murmured. "I just... I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet."

"I'm so, so sorry, Stephanie. Really. I acted like an ass and I lied to you." She faced the floor.

"I guessed we both made mistakes with each other," I sighed.

"Can you forgive me? I swear I'll never do it again. I started noticing that you would stay sad whenever I talked about him. I just can't believe I told him. He didn't believe it though." She said and I let out a sigh of relief.

She smiled and I smiled back. Some seconds later, she gave me a hug.

I like Sophie, but I just feel that things aren't the same anymore.