Chapter Thirty-Three

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There were two brief knocks at Reid's door, which he knew belonged to Carmen automatically since she had told him in advance that she was coming over because she missed him. He had been away on a case for a week and of course within that week there was another murder of a female with dark brown hair, tall stature and in her early twenties and he flashed back to that night when Carmen shed that tear. He could just sense the guilt she hid, but he didn't want to believe that she'd do something that she was against and refused to leave her side so easily. He had to admit that when he walked to the door, he was kind of dreading opening it and staring at a mystery; an unsolved case that was about to open up fully. What made everything worse was that he tried to contact her everyday he was away after eight in the evening and she didn't answer on Thursday evening and she never tried to contact him until he called her the Friday. Next thing he knew a woman named Rebecca Alexander was murdered Thursday night.

He opened the door and saw Carmen with her little bag filled with the clothes and necessities that she needed for her PhD oral assessment and he shook on the inside. He shook because all of that was so close to being taken away from her and she had no idea. Her smiled beamed with pure happiness as she leaned in and pecked him on the lips and he shook on the inside again just at the thought that their intimacy would no longer exist if she was guilty.

"Hey, baby," she greeted as she made her way inside his apartment.

"Hey," he said before looking at the clock that rested on his wall, "you're pretty late."

Carmen also looked at the clock. It was ten minutes passed 11 p.m. She smiled and shrugged at the fact that she was late as if it didn't matter. Only if she knew his anxiety about every move that she made. Everything she did that didn't line up with the usual routine would cause chaos and destruction in her life and he couldn't stop that from happening even if he tried because he had no opinion whatsoever in that case.

"I know, I was deciding what to wear and I decided to do laundry after," she casually said as she left the living room to go to his bedroom to put down her stuff.

Reid followed her like a desperate puppy that needed more than one simple treat to be satisfied; he wanted more information. He wanted so much information that he actually wanted her to get annoyed from all the questions he was asking. He didn't care any longer that she would get mad at him, all he wanted was her to be direct with him.

"You usually do laundry on Saturday when you get back from work. Why the change of schedule?" he asked as he entered the room.

"Because I had a lot of dirty clothes," she said in an almost entertained way since she found his question odd.

"That many since the last time you did laundry the previous Saturday?" he continued.

She looked at him strangely. "What's with the interrogation?"

He shook his head. "There's no interrogation. It's just that...I don't feel as if I'm apart of your life like the way you're apart of mine."

He witnessed her demeanor change from confused and slightly annoyed to soft and warm. He knew that she would melt in his hands if he was genuine and upset about their connection rather than just being negative towards her lack of trust. Knowing her, she would be more likely to talk to him on a level headed basis and he would be one step closer to figuring out her true intentions.

"Aw, baby, you are a big part of my life," she said as she walked up to him.

He held his breath for a second, feeling that she would sense that he wasn't as genuine as he made himself seem in that moment. As he let himself breathe again, he looked straight into Carmen's eyes and saw the pain that still laid deep in her that she masked so well with everything good that was happening to her and he couldn't believe that he didn't notice it before. He had no idea if she was sad because it was just natural for her, if she was thinking about the events of Barstow last year or if it was from concealing three murders.

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