Chapter Thirty-Five

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          Reid stared at the large building from his car window that was soon going to open by late May. He stopped by after he did some minor grocery shopping to see how far along the structure had come and to think. He stared at it thinking about how relieved he was that Carmen had decided to go to the conference in Las Vegas to earn the spot she strived for. He stared in a mindless state, not even focusing on the structure itself anymore, but the letters that he had read from Jason to Carmen and thought about how psychologically disturbing they were just from his perspective. He couldn't imagine how disgustingly explicit the other letters Carmen hid away from him were. The few letters he read had Jason describing in detail the glorification of violence not only towards the victims of the Barstow case, but also towards Carmen.

Getting your own hands dirty is good, but getting someone else's hands dirty is even better. I don't cherish any other daughter father relationship more than ours. We are on par and I think that's why I fall asleep with a smile every night.

Once I had a dream about you and it felt so real that I could actually feel my hand holding onto your hair as I slam your skull into a concrete wall. It was the best dream I've had in awhile and I thank God that imagery carried me on through the day. Only if it could be a reality.

Do you think Spencer  would never hurt you? You probably do. Well, I always like to pop your bubble, so I might as well do it in this situation: he will hurt you. Don't think he's different just because he's smart, charming and can keep you safe. If he punched me out of anger, I'm 100% he'd do the same to you. 

He definitely believed that Jason was tied to the case somehow. He believed that he had some sort of accomplice doing his dirty work since he always liked to share traumatizing experiences with people, but the person killing those women did it in a way that seemed violent, out of rage. He suspected it was a male that was close with Jason. Considering that Jason was an isolated person, he believed that the male had to be one of his only friends or a family member of some sort. 

His thoughts were cut short as he heard his phone ringing. He knew who it was, so he immediately fished into his pocket for it, glad that they called back. He took out his phone and answered it at the last ring of his ringtone.

"Hi, Hotch," Reid greeted.

"Reid, what's the matter?" Hotch asked.

Reid hadn't talked to Hotch for two days since he didn't know what to say really. He was still upset that he was suspended from the bureau, not being able to put his brain to use to save people really killed him on the inside. He didn't want Hotch to feel as if he blamed him for everything since he didn't, he blamed Strauss for taking everything out of hand. 

He was glad that Hotch took the time out of his day to call him back. It was sort of an urgent topic Reid wanted to discuss with him because he wasn't sure about his boundaries. Calling Hotch was the best option rather than guessing, anyway.

"Can I run something by you and you answer whether it's okay or not?" Reid asked.

"Of course."

          "So, how do you like it?" Claudia said as she held a mirror in front of Carmen.

Carmen examined herself in the mirror, looking at her freshly washed, dyed and styled hair, running her fingers through it as if she was feeling that it was actually her own hair. She felt the soft texture run between her finger tips and the big Hollywood curls falling back in place as soon as she let them fall out of her hands.

Claudia giggled. "I'm guessing you love it."

Carmen looked at her in shock when she realized that she didn't answer. She smiled awkwardly, embarrassed that she was so fascinated with her own hair, but she loved how Claudia did it. The only person who could do her hair as good as Claudia was Melissa and that was a huge compliment considering Melissa and that was a huge compliment considering Melissa had a whole career focused around aesthetics.

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