TMNT: Love Is A Breeze

19. Control

Raphael stayed on that ledge almost all night, finally deciding to head back home considering the others would start worrying about him.

He moped into to lair looking at the ground. Michelangelo was sitting down playing video games as usual. He caught Raphael in the corner of his eye.

"Hey Bro! You're back! Wanna verse?" Michelangelo asked enthusiastically. Raphael shook his head no and waved a hand as if to dismiss Michelangelo. Michelangelo smirked, "Why. . . Afraid you'll lose??" Michelangelo teased. Raphael started to fume and get mad, he just wanted to get to his room.

Michelangelo jumped up from his seat and ran in front of Raphael. "Aw Raphie, can't lose to his little bro!!" Michelangelo sang in a childish voice. Raphael growled, as a warning for Michelangelo, but, Michelangelo wasn't exactly in the 'listening' mood.

"Big tough Raph thinks he's gonna lose!" Michelangelo yelled whilst pulling faces. "That's it!" Raphael finally shouted as he started chasing Michelangelo around the lair. He caught up to him and tackled his younger brother.

"Woah! I was joking around bro!" Michelangelo shouted while dodging his brothers punches.

Leonardo and Donatello emerged from the lab and caught sight of Raphael and Michelangelo fighting. . . again. "Raph that's enough!" Leonardo yelled whilst running towards him. Leonardo and Donatello worked together to tug Raphael off of Michelangelo.

They all fell backwards landing on top of each other, in a dog pile. Raphael grunted and shoved Leonardo off of him. He stood up and continued towards his room.

"You need to chill Raph! What's your problem?!" Leonardo shouted as he dusted himself off. Raphael rapidly spun around, if looks could kill everyone within a mile away would've shrivelled up and faded away. "Problem? PROBLEM?! You know what just happened Leo!! You- Ugh! Forget it! I'm not even gonna bother talking to you!" Raphael shouted at his older brother and finally reached his door. He opened the door and slammed it shut again.

He wanted to sit on his bed, curl up in the sheets and never wanted to come out. He wanted to cry.

But he couldn't.

He had no tears left to shed, he'd rid all of his tears on the rooftop, unable to contain his emotions. He walked towards the dummy in the corner of his room and stood in a ready fight position. He took one deep breath and then lunched the dummy with all his might, sending the giant figure backwards and flinging right back up at Raphael, who punched the dummy again and again and again.

It seemed to be the only way he could let himself go without crying and looking weak. He hated that. Looking, feeling weak.

He continued bashing the life out of the dummy as it was the only way to keep the memories of Cassandra and the pain that came with it from flowing through his mind freely.

Time Jump: Four Weeks

Cassandra's POV

If I had a dollar for every time I stared at a sewer cap and debated whether to go back or not, I'd be set for life.

I wanted to go back so badly. The need and desire to be back with the turtles, back under shelter, back with that feeling of protection and being safe. Back with Raph.

But I couldn't, I couldn't go back. At least not like this.

I'd been living like a nomad for the past month. Moving every night, living in different parts of different neighbourhoods. Never in the same spot.

The only thing that stayed the same was what I'd been taught whilst with the turtles. To protect those who can't protect themselves.

No, I hadn't returned to my criminal life, I was still protecting civilians. Though, I had to remember to refrain from possibly. . . killing, my victims. My powers had become harder to control, required more concentration.

Occasionally I'd have days where I wouldn't use my powers at all because the strain on my mind was too great to withstand.

Luckily, tonight wasn't one of those nights.

I flew through the streets of New York City. It was a quiet night, or so I thought. That was before I heard an ear piercing scream. I flew towards the source of the sound. It lead me to an alleyway. I propped one leg on the top of the ledge of the building, leaning my arm on my knee.

I searched the alleyway trying to find something in this dimly lit passage. My eyes then fell on a young adolescent female, probably around my age. She was being pinned to the wall by a boy a little older than her by the look of it.

"Cmon Kate, you know you want me." The boy huskily said. "No Jack! I saw you making out with Megan, I am never going back back to you jerk!" She yelled back at him.

The boy, Jack, furrowed his eyebrows and growled. He harshly gripped onto the girls wrists and placed them above her head. "You're mine." He said before forcing himself onto her.

I growled before zooming down and using my wind to push him off the girl. He flew backwards and stumbled back, falling to the floor. The girl frantically looked at me. "Go." I simply said, not taking my eyes off the boy. "Thank you." She whispered before running off to safety.

I slowly stalked up to the boy. "You know, it's not right to hit or force yourself onto a woman." I explained, God I hate men who do that. "Who the hell are you?!" He exclaimed. "Names Breeze, but you're not gonna remember that after I'm through with you." I threatened.

I picked him up in a mini whirlwind and slammed him against the wall. He got up and growled before throwing random, uncoordinated punches. I dodged all of them and then it was my turn. I punched him right in the centre of his stomach. He fell back.

I walked towards him and I was about to strike the final blow. "No more! Please! I'm sorry!" He begged whilst crawling backwards. Only when I heard his cries of pure terror did I snap out of it.

I shook my head furiously, why can't I get a hold of it?!

The boy looked at me, frightened to death. I stumbled back and away from him. I looked at my hands, scared of myself. He scrambled away and ran as fast as he could, I didn't bother chasing him, he learnt his lesson and I'm sure he won't do it again.

I quickly flew up to the top of the building, pacing back and forth. Cold sweat dripped from my forehead. Was I going insane?! My head wouldn't stop pounding. I clutched my head in pain but mostly from annoyance of my lack of control.

"You're nearly there, you just need to work on it a bit more."

My head snapped around instantly, an all too familiar voice rang through my ears.

"Come out. . . Leo." I finally said. The blue clad turtle emerged from the shadows. "I heard the commotion and came to check what was happening. I watched you. You stopped." He said. "Only when his screams of pure terror finally rang in my ear!" I protested.

He walked closer to me. "I know you can gain control. Come back. Splinter can help you. And. . . things haven't been the same since you've left." He explained. "How so?" I asked.
He looked at me in the eye. ". . . Raph. . . Hasn't been the same since you've left. He's even colder and more closed off ever since you went your own way." Leo continued. My heart slowly shattered when he explained everything Raph had done, said and the way he's been acting. This was all my fault.

"I can't. I can still hurt you guys." I whispered looking away. "Cas it's been a month, if not, longer! We know you needed time and space after what happened with Shredder, but if a month isn't long enough I think you can't do this yourself. At least let someone in, you can't be isolated forever." He argued. "Leo I've been isolated 90% of my life! This isn't very different! And if I want to sort this out on my own I can!" I shouted back, I didn't mean to be so rude and cold, but that's how I get when I'm completely lost and have no idea what to do next.

Leo shook his head and sighed. "We all miss you, some of us, more than others. The sewer is always open. Always." He assured me, as if giving me one last chance to say yes now. He then jumped off the rooftop and entered the sewers from the alleyway. I watched him, wishing I could hop down that sewer as well. But I couldn't risk hurting them again.

But. . . Raph. . . He's hurting so much and it's all because of me.

I leaned on the ledge of the building and slid down. I hugged my knees and burst into tears.

Why was this so difficult?