The Crave for Mistakes

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

“Don’t play stupid. Since when have you wanted me in every sense of the word?” Selene demanded as she questioned her sanity because she knew it was a bad idea and she should’ve just gone to work but she couldn’t seem to listen to her brain.

“I knew you weren’t going to forget that.” Ben said with a sigh, deciding on whether or not he should take the full leap and tell the truth. As he looked at her he made his choice and prayed he shouldn’t regret it. “Awhile now.”

Selene was shocked, she had no idea, she wasn’t even sure she believed him. “Why?”

Ben smiled. “You’re asking me why I want you?”

“Yeah. It’s not something that happens over night. We didn’t like each other and we fought all the time so excuse me if this is a little hard to believe. I think you need to just explain it all.” Selene quickly said with all her words rushed together as she felt control slip from her grasp.

“Alright if that’s what you want.” Ben stood from the bed and placed his hands in his pockets as he stood in front of her.  “I’ve always found you my type. As kids I thought you were cute then I found you beautiful and I still do. But that was it because there was nothing else about you I liked, you pushed my buttons and pissed me off every time I saw you. I wanted to strangle you and one day that feeling became something different and I saw you and wanted more.” He explained

Selene backed away and found she couldn’t look at him. As crazy as it seemed no one had ever said something so beautiful to her. “When was that day?”

Ben smiled at the memory. “It was the first night your parents were gone. It was three in the morning and I came downstairs because I thought everyone was asleep but there you were sitting at the kitchen table. I expected you to say something Selene-like and irk me but you didn’t. We sat there and ate pizza that was ordered earlier in the day and we talked, I can’t remember what about.” He explained the memory as he saw it clear in his mind, all he could focus on was her face, and she looked so beautiful it was the moment he wished he could touch her and wished that all their moments could be that nice.

Selene scoffed as she dried the tears she hadn’t felt until then. “We talked about my parents being gone and we talked about school. I left and you wished me goodnight, I remember thinking you needed some sleep because you were never that nice.” She finally found the courage to look at his face. “If you felt that way then why did you continue to still be an ass?”

“It’s much easier then this and facing feelings you know you shouldn’t have.” Ben honestly admitted. “I hoped if we continued the way we always were then maybe the feelings would fade and it’d be ok. It was going good until Saturday.”

“Everything was good until Saturday, since then everything been a mess. I have to get out of here; I’m already late for work.”  Selene turned around to leave but Ben was quicker, he shut the door before she could walk through it, pinning her between him and the door.  

“I’m not letting you run again.”

“What? Did you think you’d pour your heart out to me and I’d fall into your arms? You’re forgetting Ben I don’t feel anything for you.” Selene harshly said as she met his eyes head on. It was easier to face him when she was angry. She was angry but more at herself then anything else because she felt like a lost idiot.

“I don’t believe that. You like the easy way out and you always have, you run away. You look for someone else to blame when you can’t make your own choices. You can’t put this on me; I haven’t made you do anything you don’t want. The easy way is walking out of here and putting your feelings aside, putting us aside because it confuses you. God Sel, grow up.” Ben explained before taking a step back, giving her room to do whatever she pleased next.

Selene ran her hand over her wet cheeks. “You’re right,” she softly began. “I am confused, I’ll admit that and maybe I haven’t handled this right but it’s the only way I know how. You’ve known for awhile how you’ve felt, I’m still trying to figure it out. On one hand I have Ben; my brother’s annoying friend, the guy who pisses me off. Then I have Ben; this new guy I just met, this guy that makes me feel things I never have before, this guy who makes me feel like I’m the biggest idiot on the planet because I can’t make up my mind. I’d give everything for Saturday to never have happened but a part of me wants more. I just don’t know if that’s enough to take the chance and give in. So if that’s running and childish then fine but there’s where I’m at.” she pushed herself off the door and left.

Ben watched her go. He hated to see her cry and hated even more she cried because of something he did. He stood there in the middle of his room as he made up his mind. It was only seconds before he ran downstairs and caught up with Selene at the front door, again stopping her before she could leave. “Just wait.” He pleaded as he tried to catch his breath. “Take the chance.”

Selene looked at him like he was a mad man. “What are you talking about now?”

“I’m telling you it’s enough. Just give in and take the chance.”

Selene remembered what she had said before she left his room. She met his eyes now and saw he was serious, more serious then she had ever seen him. “You’re crazy.”

“And you’re stubborn, it all works out.”

 “I never thought in a million years we’d be here.”

“That’s what makes it so right.”

Selene stared into his blue eyes. “This is really crazy.”

“Is that a yes?” Ben asked stepping closer to her.

“It’s not a no.”

Ben pulled her against him and brushed her hair away from her face, cupping the side of her face. “Good because I wasn’t going to settle for a no.”