Out of Bounds [h.s. au]

Chapter 36

"Harry..." I barely managed to whisper, my voice shaky.

I stared at him for what felt like eons. I swallowed hard, trying to keep from throwing up. I knew he was waiting for an answer, but I couldn't form the words. Finally, he took my hand, scooting closer to me.

"I love you so much," he declared.

"I love you, too."

With a slight grin, Harry set the velvet box on the bed and removed the ring. It really was a beautiful ring. Even if I'd had all the rings in the world to choose from, I don't think I could have picked one so perfect. Gripping my hand, Harry began to slide the ring on my finger.

"Wait," I protested, pulling back.

"What? Why?" Harry glared at me, confused.

"I haven't said yes."

Harry blew out a breath of laughter, his dimples dipping in his cheeks.

"Sorry," he chuckled. "Go ahead."

When I sucked in my lips, however, his face fell.

"Tisa," he began, his eyes wide. "You're...you're not saying no...are you?"

"Harry...I..." I twisted the end of the sheet in my hand.

"Bloody hell," he muttered under his breath.

"Harry," I said again, "please understand."

He blinked slowly, still glaring at me. Finally, he lowered his head, returning the ring to its box and closing the lid with a loud pop. His jaw was set as he turned around and dropped it back into drawer of the night stand. I could tell he was hurt, and at least a bit angry.

I swallowed hard before whispering his name again. "Harry...baby..."

"What's there to understand?" he finally asked, but still avoiding looking at me.

"It's not that I don't love you," I tried to explain. "I'm just not ready."

Harry nodded, his eyes on the comforter.

"I still have a divorce to get through," I added.

"Yeah, I get it." Harry stood from the bed then, pulling on his boxers. With his back to me, he scratched the back of his head. He took a step toward the door. I thought he was going to leave the room, but he stopped and turned around again.

"I guess I should have expected you to say no," he continued. "Penny warned me. Zack didn't think it was a great idea. But I guess I thought-" he voice broke then, and I thought he was about to cry. "This week's been so wonderful, being with you, just the two of us."

"It has, Harry," I conveyed.

"When I hold you..." he took a step closer to the bed. "When we make love...the way you look at me..."

I felt the wetness on my cheeks as I realized tears had fallen from my eyes just as I noticed one fall from his. He lowered himself onto the bed again, his face inches from mine. He grabbed my hand and held it against his chest.

"Baby, I feel it. You feel it. I know you do. This is true love."

"Harry," I shook my head, "I'm not denying my love for you. I love you more than I could ever explain."

"Then we should be together," he argued.

I took a deep breath and let it out my nostrils. "I'm not saying no," I muttered. "I just can't say yes right now. I can't put that ring on until I know the time is right. I have to get my life together."