Out of Bounds [h.s. au]

Chapter 38

"Tisa," I heard a voice whisper as a hand tried to shake me awake.

"Harry?" my own voice sounded, though not aloud.

"Baby doll, it's almost seven," Penny whispered in a louder tone.

"Crap," I groaned as I rolled over and rubbed my eyes.

"Coffee's ready."

Penny tiptoed back toward her bedroom while I got up and reformed the bed into a couch. Then I hurried into the bathroom to get my shower.

Within thirty minutes I was out the door and on my way to work. This was how it had been the last week and a half. I'd fallen into a routine. I didn't do much besides go to work and come home. If Penny was around, we'd eat dinner and watch TV together. If she was out with Zack, I did the same thing, just alone.

So far, Harry hadn't tried to contact me. I wasn't exactly sure if it was because he was angry with me, or because he was just giving me the time and space I'd requested. I figured it was the latter.

The first few nights without him had been the hardest. Although I'd had a good heart-to-heart with Penny and she supported my decision, I felt completely lost and alone, even more than I had when I'd left James. I wondered if I was being ridiculous and should have just said yes to Harry's proposal in the first place. At least then I'd still be lying in his arms instead of tossing and turning on a fold-out bed in Penny's cold and tiny living room.

I still had trouble sleeping. My brain seemed to switch to overdrive as soon as my head hit the pillow and I couldn't turn it off. By the time my alarm went off in the morning, I felt like I'd had even less sleep than the night before, and apparently on this day I hadn't heard my alarm at all.

Even though I liked my job, I found myself being short with people, giving quick answers and rolling my eyes at simple questions. I got annoyed easily, even when my co-workers would ask me how I was. I told them I was fine, wishing they would move along if they would linger beside my desk. If work got slow, I would grab my phone, wanting so badly to text Harry, missing the contact with him, even if it was just to complain about my slow day. But I never texted him. I knew it would only make matters worse. He would start to get hopeful that I'd changed my mind and come back to him, and I would be angry with myself for crumbling. I needed to stay strong.

It wasn't that I was mad at him. And it certainly wasn't that I didn't love him. I was still as much in love with him as I'd ever been. I just couldn't live with him knowing that every time I turned around he would be hoping that I'd say yes. He wanted more than I could give him, and eventually we'd start resenting each other because of it.

When I got home that evening, feeling like a zombie, Penny and I decided to make a trip to the supermarket. Other than going to work and back, I hadn't really been out of the apartment, so I needed the distraction.

"We definitely need toilet paper," declared Penny as we rounded the corner to the next aisle.

That was when I saw him. Standing in front of the paper towels, wearing a green beanie, the curls peeking out as he decided between name brand and store brand.

"Oh!" Penny exclaimed as she stopped short with her cart, nearly causing me to bump into her.

She looked between Harry and me until he turned, tossing two rolls of paper towels in his cart. Looking up, he made eye contact with me.

"Tisa..." he said in a low tone, just above a whisper.

"Hi, Harry," I muttered slowly.

I heard Penny clear her throat next to me. "Um...this is all I needed here," she said as she grabbed the toilet paper. "I'll meet you by the shampoo, Tisa."