Shy, Scared, and Weak. I'm the Alpha's Mate.

Sorrow

Damien's POV

I haven't slept in three days and it was beginning to catch up to me. The first night consisted of me pacing the length of my bedroom just contemplating life and trying to calm Stone down. In some dark part of my mind I couldn't really grasp what had happened, it was so sudden. One minute Jillian was in my arms, then the next she was gone. That's usually when my neck begins to burn on the mark.

The second night was a lot of sniffing and hugging some of Jillian's favorite sweaters, and the third night, last night, was defiantly the roughest of them all. Every little thing that Jillian had done played on constant repeat in my mind and my chest hurt with heartbreak. I was angry with myself for just leaving her alone, like what kind of idiot does that? Granted I had no idea what was going on and I wasn't given the time to contemplate my actions, but that didn't bring Jillian back, did it?

I leaned up against a tree and watched the wolves in my division begin to spar. Normally I would be yelling out critiques and ordering them to straighten up, and I should be because it was my bad guards who made Jillian get kidnapped. But I just watched, I could tell some were waiting for me to yell something random like, "Learn how to punch!" or, "If you keep using the same move your opponent will win!"

I looked up at the sky through the green leaves of the tree. The night of the attack, Oliver had been in my room sniffing and checking for all kinds of prints or tracks. Some sort of clue. We knew who might have taken her, but we couldn't just waltz into their territory and kill some people. We had to plan this out and confirm our suspicions.

Mate.... Stone whimpered, lying on his side and whining. He wanted Jillian so bad, her smell, her hair, her face. Anything at this point would help him. Don't get me wrong, I yearned for her too, but not nearly as bad as he was. He was the main reason I felt these emotions anyway. He made me want to lie on the ground, curse the Moon and die.

I was in pure agony.

I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to sleep, I just wanted to find her.

But I couldn't!

Over the years I had learned to mask my emotions, it was a defense mechanism. If it seems you have no feelings then how can someone penetrate your defenses? But right now I wanted to weep, did my face show it? Most likely. Did I really care? No, not really.

I want mate so we can cuddle again. She was so soft and sweet, she was perfect! I love her, and now she's gone, maybe even dead. They must be torturing her or holding her against her will! What if she dies, Damien? How will our pack survive? A second mate couldn't even compare to her! She was so beautiful, with her dark eyes and pale fur. I WANT MATE BACK!!!!! Stone wailed, rolling around on his back and craning his neck with pity.

The side of my neck began to ache slightly, I knew that after a while the mark would begin to fade. I remember how my father's did.

"Dude, you can go. I can handle this." Christian put a hand on my shoulder. I hadn't even realized that he was coming towards me. I looked at him blankly before nodding my head and moving past towards the house.

The walk down the mountain was long, but refreshing. I remembered when Jillian first went up here, she fell. I helped her get back up and reach the finish line. The way she smiled knowing that she succeeded was purely radiant. It was a shy grin, and her eyes seemed to ask for permission before her face lit up with delight. Her laugh was like music to my ears and all I wanted was to hear it again.

"Why?" I murmured to myself when I headed inside.

I had built my home when I was eighteen because I wanted to get away from the memories of the Pack House that my father built and my childhood home that was stained with both my parents blood. But right now, it just harbored all the memories I had made with Jillian in the past few weeks. Like her peanut butter ice cream that was still in the freezer. I had bought some more after we last fought so when we made up she could have her favorite food again and love me. But she never got the chance to eat it.