Your eyes

Chapter 10

*contains slight mention of self harm*

Taehyung's POV

       Why did I agree?

       What possessed me to agree with this sleepover?

       It's not even first period yet and I'm already anxious. All I have been able to think about since the moment I agreed is the sleepover. I shouldn't have opened my mouth, I shouldn't have agreed. Not only are my parents 100% going to disagree, but can I really trust myself to hold up that long? It's hard enough getting through a school day without running away, how am I going to last the whole day?   

      I let out a heavy sigh and close my eyes momentarily, feeling myself start to get worked up again. Stop. Now's not the time.

      I am sitting in my seat in homeroom and Jungkook and Jimin are talking to each other, while I'm silently freaking out about what's going to happen later. Speaking of Jungkook, he's confusing me.

      I wasn't ready for the confrontation yesterday, and I'm sincerely concerned that he may be seeing through my facade. I don't want him to know, no... I don't want anyone to know how I'm feeling.

     The only reason is because if I stay happy... If people think I'm happy then they'll treat me normally. They won't bother me unnecessarily. I don't want a repeat of every other school I've been to. I don't want to go through that again.

     Jungkook's words yesterday are making me wary of him, and frankly I don't like it. There's something about him that makes me want to get closer to him, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll ruin it.

     My stomach churns with nerves and I glance at my two supposed friends. They're talking to each other, and Jimin is smiling smugly. Jungkook, on the other hand is wearing his usual stoic expression, but his eyes are shimmering with annoyance. They must be bickering again.

     I let out another soft sigh and turn my gaze to the front of the room. It's then when I realize that I haven't seen Hoseok yet today. That's strange. He's usually one of the earliest people...

     Jimin's loud voice broke me from my thoughts, and I turn towards him, a bit flustered.

     "Oh, yeah, by the way guys, I can't go to the sleepover tonight. You guys can still have it if you want though."

      What.

      What?

      My stomach drops in complete nervousness, and I don't know how to compose myself. Just me and Jungkook? What if he makes me speak? What if he drags the truth out of me? What if he grows to hate me?

       I don't want that to happen.

       Please don't leave me alone with him.

      As if he sensed my unease, Jungkook gazed at me with calculating eyes before opening his mouth to speak.

      "I'm still up for it if you are, hyung."

      Jungkook's words make me freeze, and despite how I feel, I know what my answer will be. There's no way I can refuse him, right?

      "S-Sure... Sounds good to me." I reply shakily, trying to ignore those dark eyes staring at me. I can't bring myself to look up my friends, too scared to.

      A loud shout of "good morning" echoes through the room, and Hoseok walks proudly into the room.

     "You're late." Jimin scoffs, and I am immensely grateful for the distraction. If I had to speak anymore, there's no telling how I'd react.