Your eyes

Chapter 18

Taehyung's POV

     I know I should regret calling Jungkook out that one night, but honestly, I don't. I don't regret it at all. Being able to pour out my feelings in Jungkook's comforting arms is something indescribable to me. It really feels as if I can finally trust someone, as if I can trust him. That's what he said, but... I can't help but still be on guard.

    I can't shake the feeling that he'll leave me.
    Coming to school had been a lot harder than I thought it would. My parents are still upset with me, and made sure to let me know of that before I could even escape the house. Not only did I struggle with dealing with my parents, but I had to work up as much courage as I could to be in school.

      Despite how comfortable I felt with Jungkook's arms around me, thoughts of doubt and shame always manage to come across my mind. I can't help but hope that he'll forget. I don't want him to tell anyone about me, and although I know he said he wouldn't, I can't help but feel like he will.

     Swallowing my nerves as I walked into school, I decided to get through this the only way I know how to, by acting. I pretended to be normal, and refrained from talking to Jungkook too much. I've gotten him involved, so I should stop it before it gets worse. I've got to stop this before I start hoping and believing in things that will only hurt me. He doesn't need to be bothered with me anymore, it's only for the best.

      Despite my thoughts I can't help but be distracted because of Jungkook. I've been noticing things about him lately. He makes me feel nervous, but not the usual, anxious nervous. It's more of an excited type of nervous... I don't really know how to describe it.

      The more I look at him, the more I think about that night... I really want to feel his arms around me again.

      In an effort to keep my thoughts off of Jungkook and everything that happened with him, throughout the school day I tried to spend more time with Hoseok. It's been about a few days since I've started doing this, and although it's under strange conditions, I can't deny that it's fun. Jhope's really fun to talk to, and he doesn't fail to bring a smile to my face. Besides, he doesn't really cross personal boundaries either, so I can talk comfortably with him.

       Don't get me wrong, I've been talking to Jimin and Jungkook too, but they've been talking to each other more often. I don't want to bother Jimin, and frankly, I'm still a little scared to talk to Jungkook. He's seen most of my weaknesses, and I'm not sure how I should really interact with him.

      Currently, I'm in a casual conversation with Hoseok as usual, when Jimin asks us to stop. Today has been a sort of quiet, usual day, so I can't deny that this came as a surprise. It isn't necessarily the fact that Jimin stopped us that surprises me, but how loud his voice is.

      Our whole group stops and Jimin turns towards us. I expect him to ask us a question about school or meeting up afterward, but what I hear is nothing even close to what I thought it would be.

      "I'm sorry to be doing this right here, in such an awkward place and time, but I really, really need to get this off of my chest. Taehyung, can I ask you something?"

      My eyes widen at the mention of my name, and instantly my body freezes up and my stomach sinks at the attention. He wants to ask me something? What?

     Fear rises within me and I stiffly force myself to nod. I can't help but think that he's going to expose me. I can't help but think he's going to end all of my happiness with just a few words, because that's what words can do. They can shatter everything you have if used the right way. I would know, I've dealt with this before.