Your eyes

Chapter 31

*warning: cursing, slight angst and mention of self harm*

Yoongi's POV

       Today had started normally, full of rambling teachers and annoying classmates. Eventually, like any other day, about ten minutes in, I had had enough. Naturally, I went to one of my hangout places, intending to clear my head. On the way, however, I received a message.

        The vibration from my phone surprised me at first, considering that I don't particularly have anyone else's number. I'm not exactly a social person, so who would send me a message? Slightly curious but mostly annoyed, I had clicked on the notification to see a picture of two boys kissing. Who are they? Taehyung and Jungkook.

       I know I probably should have been shocked, considering how Jimin and Taehyung are the school's sweethearts, but honestly, this didn't surprise me at all. I know the look of someone in love, and back then when I drove away Zico and the rest, I saw it. It was painted all over Jungkook's face. It was then that I noticed the connection between the two. The connection that is stronger than the one between Jimin and Taehyung.

        After examining the picture for a few moments, I put my phone back into my pocket and continued to walk. Their business has nothing to do with me. Jimin made sure of that. He doesn't want me to be involved, so I won't be. Whatever problems they have has nothing to do with me.

       However, as I continued to walk down my usual path, I ran into something that I just couldn't ignore.

       A crying Jimin.

       No matter how much I wanted to just turn around and pretend I never saw him, I didn't have the heart to. I don't know what came over me, or what I said to make this happen, but now I'm sitting beside him, my shoulder wet with tears.

        I didn't have to ask him why he's crying. From the picture I had seen, it has become quite obvious to me what this is about. Still, I didn't say anything except for simple words of comfort like "Shh, it's okay", and "Let it all out, it's okay to cry". I don't know what came over me, but strangely enough, neither of us questioned the situation and simply took advantage of each other's presence.

       Slowly but surely, Jimin calms down, wiping his tears away the way a child would rub their eyes upon waking up from a nap. For some reason, I feel the need to touch him, to personally see that those tears would never appear in his eyes again. It just doesn't suit him.

       However, as much as I want to, I don't do anything. I don't do anything because I know he doesn't want me to.

      Jimin and I used to be close friends, almost too close. But now... now he hates me. After what I did to him, I don't blame him at all.

      I just wish he knew why I did that. I never wanted to hurt him, and I still don't. There's so much that I hadn't told him back then, and still haven't to this day. But, I guess it's better if he doesn't know.

      As he said... Just because my life's shit doesn't mean I have to go and fuck up everyone else's.

      Still, I can't deny that being hated by him hurts. I miss being friends with him, Hoseok too. I never really knew Jungkook. He never was comfortable enough to let me get to know him. Although, I think I wouldn't mind being friends with him either.

      Every day I walk by that group of friends, I feel as if I want to join them. But I can't do that. I don't belong. They don't want me there, and besides, I don't deserve that happiness. I've done nothing to deserve it.

       I sigh and watch Jimin as his breathing evens out, his red eyes making me frown. He looks so tired and stressed, I hate it. He should always be smiling as if the cold world is warm to him. He shouldn't have to hurt like this.