Your eyes

Chapter 35

*warning: cursing, lots of angst, may be triggering for some people. Please don't read if you're uncomfortable

Jimin's POV

       There is no way in hell that I'm allowing Min Yoongi to just leave. I've had enough of him avoiding the problem, avoiding me, and if I'm completely honest, I believe Taehyung. Considering how Suga allowed me to cry on his shoulder and actually seemed like the old, caring person he used to be, a part of me is still clinging onto the hope that he is actually a good person. I'm hoping that everything I know about him is just misconceptions, and that there's a real, legit reason he did that to me.

     I'm not saying I forgive him. No matter what his reason is, what he did made trusting anyone, especially him extremely difficult. It's going to take more than an explanation to make up for that. I just want to know. I want to understand. I want to talk to him again, not as enemies, but as friends.

     As much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. Not the fake, standoffish him, but the smiling, lazy but true friend that I once had. I'm not sure that friend is even still there, but my soul won't be able to rest until I at least understand.

     I don't want to be left in the dark anymore.

     I turn my gaze to a clueless Taehyung, preparing myself to speak. As much as I want to deny it, I still find him adorable, and if I'm honest, I'm struggling to change these feelings. I'm still undeniably fond of him, and having to think of him as a friend instead of my boyfriend is unsettling to me.

      But that's okay. I know it's going to be tough at first, but I'm okay with it. I want this now. I've come to understand and accept that a romantic relationship with Taehyung just isn't meant to be. What Taehyung and I had is nothing like the bond between Taehyung and Jungkook. Even if I had wanted to replicate that bond, it's just impossible, so instead, I'll support them from the sidelines.

     I just hope that the pain doesn't linger.

     "Taehyung, I'm gonna go. I've gotta go find that dipshit before he does anything stupid." Okay, maybe I'm a little concerned about Yoongi. Maybe.

     I watch as Taehyung's eyebrows lift in question, his wide brown eyes drawing me in. All I can think of his how he resembles a little puppy, his innocent, blank face only seeming cute to me. "Wh-Where are you going?" He questions, and for a second I think I spot concern in the golden flecks of his orbs.

     Stop it. Don't give yourself false hope. It's time to move on.

     I flash a small, somewhat fake smile and bring a finger to my lips. "It's a secret."

     With those few words, I wave to the person I adore before turning my back to him and walking away. I'm not sure if I had done a good job at hiding how emotionally disrupted I am right now, but from Taehyung's response, I'm satisfied enough. I don't want him to worry about me. What happened back then is in the past, and although I will never be able to forget it, it's not... It's not important to me. I'm not going to let such an incident define who I am.

     I take a deep, shaky breath, intending to release the distraught thoughts from my mind. I don't want to think about what he did, I don't want to think about my ex, I just... I want to find answers. That's all.

      I know Yoongi isn't in school today, so I don't even bother to look there. I walk out of the school without hesitation, although not sure of where I want to go. I've been skipping school a lot lately, but it's not a main concern of mine. I've got too much to worry about, education is my last priority right now.