Undeniable Truths

20~ Letters to Granger

Boring. Gorgeous, but boring. That's how you describe Finland. I miss my job, and my friends, but mostly I just miss Granger.

I haven't talked to her since I left London a month ago. But if I tried, I'm afraid Father would find out and be upset. So, I sit in my hotel room and watch muggle tv.

I've become quite fond of the muggle show, One Tree Hill. It's odd to see people going about their lives without magic. Not to mention, the character Brooke isn't bad on the eyes. She isn't as pretty as Hermione by any means, she's kind of shallow, but she is pretty.

"Willow," I call. Willow is my mother's house elf, whom my mother assigned to me while I'm away.

"Yes, Master Draco. How may Willow assist you?" She greets with a bow.

"Can you bring my Father here so I can speak with him, please?"

"Willow would, but he's not at the Manor right now, sir."

"Where is he?" I ask.

Willow shrugs, "Willow does not know. Willow was not informed of where Master Lucius was going."

"Alright, thank you. Can you tell him I'd like a word with him when he returns?"

"Yes, Master Draco," and with that, she leaves with a pop.

Damn it. Why is he never at the Manor when I need him? I've been here a month, I should be allowed to go home now. I haven't gotten anymore letters, or any letters for that matter. I'll just apparate to the Manor and talk to Mother.

I turn off the tv and leave with a pop. When I land in the Manor, I'm in my old bedroom. It still looks exactly the same. Silver walls with one emerald green one. One whole wall is just a window with my desk at it. I walk over to my desk and open my bottom left hand drawer to find that all my letters are still there.

When I went back to Hogwarts for my eighth year I wrote letters every so often to Crabbe. I never told anyone, but I miss my old friend. No one knew about my letters to him either, they were like an escape for me. I told those letters more than I told any living person.

I shuffle down to the bottom of the stack and pull them out. I pull out my wand and tap the bottom of the drawer in my secret pattern and it opens to reveal my letters to Granger.

I look through them and find the very first one I ever wrote, dated October 15, 1991. I wrote letters to her every time I picked on her, they were apology letters, or just love notes. Every one of them says pretty much the same thing, with minor differences, until you come to the very last one.

The last one was dated for the day before she married Weasley.

Granger,

I know I'm too late, and you're going to marry Weasley tomorrow, but I need to get this off my chest. I've fancied you since I first saw you.

I know I was an asshole, and you have no reason to believe me, but it's true. I know I picked on you, but that was because I knew I never had a chance with you. So I channeled my rejection into malice, and that was wrong.

You were the only girl I wanted, but you are also the only girl I can never have. That day back in third year, when you punched me, was the only time I ever regretted being a Slytherin. I looked right into your gorgeous chocolate brown eyes and I knew with that one contact, my fate with you was sealed.

In second year, when I called you that nasty word, I didn't know it was so bad. And when I found out you cried, I locked myself in my dorm room and cried and punched the walls and completely trashed the room out of anger. I didn't want you to hate me, but you did, and you probably still do.

And that night at the manor, when my aunt tortured you, I cried that night. Harder than I've ever cried in my life. I couldn't save you, and that killed me. The most gorgeous girl in the world was hurt, traumatized in my presence, and I couldn't stop it. And for that I'm truly sorry. More than you will ever know.

Every Time I came in second place behind you I wasn't bothered by it because that meant you won. And you winning, even if it means I lose, is still a win in my book. Which is why I'm writing this letter. To let you know that I love you, but I'm going to let you go, so you can win.

I hope he makes you the happiest you can be, because you deserve no less. You deserve the world, Princess, and I hope one day he can give that to you. If not, I'll be waiting in the sidelines to give it to you, if you're willing to give me the chance.

Sincerely Yours,

D. Malfoy

P.s. Here's all the apology notes I wrote to you, but I never sent.

I wish I would've sent those letters. I had them all in an envelope, ready to be sent, but I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't hurt her in that way. She deserved to go into her wedding day without a care in the world, to be happy and dance the night away. So, I let her be happy, I let her continue to think that she meant nothing more than a single shared kiss and many many days of taunting.

But now, it's different, Weasley is gone. Draco is dead, maybe I could convince Mother to write a note telling Hermione that she found these and thought she would want them.

I walk into the drawing room to find Mother reading in her chair.

She looks up from her book, "I was beginning to wonder when you would come down and talk to me."

"I'm sorry, Mother, I got caught up in my old room," I apologize.

"It's perfectly alright, find anything interesting?" She asks as she stands to hug me.

I hug her back and reply, "Well, I found some letters I wrote back in school, and I was wondering if you could write a note for me so I can finally send them off."

"But, Draco dear, who are they to? And why would you want to send them now?"

"They're to Hermione, and I just want her to know that I wasn't an awful person, and I had a heart. That my heart belonged to her from the start."

"But it would confuse her dear, to suddenly get letters from her dead school enemy."

"I know, but I just," I trail off, "I just need her to know. To give myself closure."

"What would you like my note to say, Dear?"