I Kinda Hate You

5- I Say What I Mean

--7:32 a.m.--

I woke up from a bad dream with my chest heaving up and down and my heart beating at a fast pace. The events from last night just kept playing over and over again. That's when I remembered what Cody had said about staying outside of the door until I forgive him. I stood up from the floor that I uncomfortably slept on and slowly slid the door open an inch and saw Cody leaning against the bunks with his head tilted back against the mattress. I frowned and closed the door sliding down to the floor and leaned my head back against the door closing my eyes. I took a few deep breaths before my eyes began to get heavy again.

--9:01 a.m.--

I was awoken by talking on the other side of the door but I made sure that I was quiet so I could eavesdrop. 

"You what?!"

 "Maxx calm down it just came out! I didn't mean to say anything like that about her." I bit my lip and heard a sigh belonging to Maxx. 

"You better have her out of that room by noon." Maxx threatened and I heard Cody laugh nervously then lean against the door again. 

"Maddy...You awake?" He asked in a soft voice and knocked quietly before it started to slowly slide open and I jumped grabbing the knob and tried to shut it again, but he's much stronger than I am. I ran over to the couch as he slid it all the way open and looked at me with guilt. I cowered down into the corner with the cushions and pillows as he took a step forward. "Maddy-" 

"Don't." I warned tightening my grip on a pillow then he took another step towards me.

 "Please forgive me. I've never said sorry as many times as this in my life." Before he could get any closer, I chucked the pillow at him. With a small chuckle, he tossed the pillow behind him then didn't take any hesitation to come over to me directly making it too quick for me to throw any more pillows. Cody grabbed my hands in his and I struggled to get out of his grip but he tightened it. 

"C-Cody let go.." I stuttered and turned my face the other way so I didn't have to look at him. 

"Maddy, look at me." I shook my head furiously as he sighed and let me go then put his hands on my cheeks and made me turn towards him. Our eyes met and it's like I forgot what struggling was because all I did was sit there and search his beautiful-I mean normal-blue eyes and focus on him. "I really hope this is the last time I say it, I seriously didn't mean to say any of those things. I was just hanging out with the wrong people and it slipped out to make me seem cool...I guess you could say. I'm sure you've done something similar to that, but didn't hurt anyone nearby like I did- like I always do. We can hate each other all we want, but it's never going to come to the point where one of us breaks down again. I'm not going to let that happen and I hope you won't either. Please...just forgive me."

 I pursed my lips looking down slightly and contemplated on my answer. I wanted so badly as to just wrap my arms around him and his would go around me then I'd feel safe and secure, but we hate each other supposedly. I did kinda say it to him yesterday and I say what I mean. 

--11:55 a.m.--

Cody and I have been sitting in the back room together for nearly three hours now without talking or doing anything. It was just silent. I kinda liked it though. He was sitting up beside me on the couch with his arm hanging over the back of it behind me. Our thighs were lightly touching and I was leaning towards him a little bit so that I was comfortable and the TV was on with the volume low. Maxx appeared in the doorway and his eyes flickered from Cody then to me a few times then he smiled and left closing the door behind him. After a few minutes passed by, I took a deep breath and looked in the corner of my eye. 

"I forgive you." I muttered then turned my head back to see his reaction which was a happy one. Cody smiled to himself and glanced down at me. 

"I'm glad. So does that mean you want me to.." He trailed off pointing to the door and I shook my head. 

"Hell no. You'd be a pretty good pillow." I stated making him laugh.

 "Now, what movies should we watch?" He asked as I smirked then pointed to the small stack of scary movies piled up against the wall.

--6:23 p.m.--

My eyes fluttered open as the talking from the other side of the door got louder, but then died back down. I looked at the position I was in and smiled to myself. I knew he'd be a good pillow. Cody is kinda like a teddy bear. He had his arms wrapped around my torso tightly like he was hugging me while my hands were on his shoulders. Oh I didn't mention that I was in between his legs once again. I sighed happily and laid my head back down on his chest then closed my eyes and tried my best to fall asleep, but my mind was racing so much and my stomach was going crazy with butterflies that I couldn't relax enough. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned my head the other way to try and see if that way would work, but it didn't. 

"Your heart is beating really fast." Cody's low husky voice mumbled as his hands moved up and down my back trying to relax me. 

"I know..Sorry." I bit my lip and closed my eyes then took my mind elsewhere to relaxing things then I began to calm down again and fell asleep right away.