I Kinda Hate You

18- Mercy

A/N: See what I did there with the title and the music? Yeet..

--2 weeks later--

--6:12 a.m.--

I bit my lip while staring at my lap. I've been up all night staring at the video. That fucking video has been up for three months. It's the video Andy had found. I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I held them back. Okay, okay. Don't focus on this. Let's uh...Focus on Cody! Yes, we need to focus on Cody. He's our biggest priority right now. I yanked my phone from it's charger and checked the missed calls and texts I got from several people. None of them were from Cody. Damn, and I thought I had a chance. Maxx officially moved in with Dad since he still doesn't have enough money to get his own place. I haven't had to deal with Mom or Kevin because I either lock myself in my room or go out with Natalie. I finally got the strength to drag myself out of bed and stumbled over to the bathroom. It's finally time to take a shower and maybe feel a little cleaner. I have a fucking sex tape. That's illegal isn't it? I didn't even know about it until Andy said something.

--7:34 a.m.--

After thinking the whole time I was getting ready, I finally walked out of my room feeling a little better than before. I padded down the steps to the kitchen and grabbed a coffee cup from the cabinet. While pouring myself some already made coffee, I sighed. I miss Cody. Right now, I'd probably be with him in his apartment wearing his shirt while making breakfast as he sang random songs that came on the radio while helping me cook. God, why'd I have to be so stupid and listen to Maxx? Oh yeah, I'm not pregnant. I actually took a test last week just in case. I was pretty scared that I was since it wasn't exactly my plan to have Andy Biersack as my baby daddy. Chuckling at the thought, I mixed in my favorite French Vanilla creamer and sugar in with the coffee. Yeah, I have sugar, not sweetener. To be honest, it tastes better. I put the lid on my cup and took a sip while looking down at my phone and pressed on Cody's contact. My heart skipped a beat by just looking at his name. My thumb pressed on the little phone next to his name and I put it on speaker phone. After a few rings, he finally answered making my heart almost stop.

"What?"

"That's a nice way to say hello to the person you haven't talked to for almost three weeks."

"Maddy, I'm not in the mood."

"I just wanted to talk."

"Fine. Be here at 4. Then we'll talk." And with that, he hung up. Um, rude much? I sighed placing my phone up on the counter then groaned. That's too many hours to wait.

--8:14 a.m.--

"I am a circus freak, caught in a cage, caught in a cage!" I sang at the top of my lungs while dancing around my room with my brush upside down in my hands singing into it.

Yeah uh, I'm singing Set it Off songs because I'm in love with the lead singer. Fucking Cody Carson...Jesus- Why couldn't he just say hey, how's it going like a normal person? I continued to sing the song and dance around my room like the psycho I am. You know, this is the perfect day to wear this freaking outfit. It's dark red skinny jeans, a white crop top with a black cross on it, a leather jacket, and my black tie up heels. I just feel like I should be acting this way wearing this stuff.

--10:26 a.m.--

I sighed while laying upside down on the couch in the living room with my phone in my hands while scrolling through Cody and I's texts. How sad can I be? I'm so hung over him that I'm just laying around my house thinking about Cody. I looked back to some of the intense texts and bit my lip. Damn... We were unstoppable. I chuckled to myself just thinking about it.

--11:41 a.m.--

"Tell me how you're sleeping easy, how you're only thinking of yourself!" I yelled the lyrics to another one of Set it Off's songs while sliding around on the hardwoods floor with my shoes off. I heard the doorbell ring making me grin as I slid to it while singing still. The pizza man just stood there looking very amused as I handed him some money, took the pizza, sang thank you, then slid into the kitchen and grabbed myself a slice of pizza. I even sang while eating. My life...it's so sad.

--3:55 p.m.--

I sighed while turning off my car that was parked in front of Cody's apartment building. I let out a shaky breath and pulled the keys out of the slot placing them in my pocket and got out of the car. This is gonna be nerve wrecking. Even after all of the singing and slight obsessing over the whole situation. I nervously walked up to the entrance of the building then walked the stairs to the second floor. I took one last breath before knocking on the door. In less than a second, it opened revealing Cody making my heart skip a beat.

"Can I come in?" I ask in a slight harsher voice than I wanted it to be.

"Yeah sure, whatever."

--5:59 p.m.--

"You could've told me how you really felt !" Cody yelled while standing over me as I sat on the couch.

"I did! I'll do it again if you want me to. Just say the word."

"No because I don't want to hear more lies from that dirty ass mouth." My jaw dropped.

"Dirty?"

"The fucking tape you idiot!" I seriously haven't heard him this mad for all the years I've known him.

"I didn't even know it was made!"

"I'm so sure."

"You're serious right now?"

"As serious as I'll ever be."

"Why don't you ever believe me when I want you to the most?!" I asked while standing up as our faces were about 6 inches apart. A screaming match was sure to continue.

"I don't believe people like you!"

"People like me?"

"Oh, excuse me, sluts like you." That's the last thing I heard before I felt my chest tighten as the tears began to spill. I officially broke down falling against the couch with my knees pulled to my chest.

"I'm not a slut! I didn't know what was happening! It's illegal and he should be punished and I'm sure he's done it to a lot of girls! I don't even know why I went with Andy because I'm in love with you. I guess I just got caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry! I'm such a disappointment!"

Cody's POV:

How stupid could I possibly be? I knew how sensitive she can get and I just pushed the limit. I'm the fuck up here, not her.

"No, no." I muttered and slid down next to her. "I'm the disappointment, not you. You're perfect the way you are. I can't believe I actually pushed past your breaking point."

She didn't say anything so I went on.

"I know, it seems like I just invited you over to yell at you for all the stupid things that you've done, but I guess I just didn't want to hold a grudge against you. You're to pretty to be mad at." I mumbled while pressing a kiss to her forehead as I brought her closer to me. Maddy's face dug into my hoodie as she let out the last of her tears and I ran my hands through her hair gently.

"I'm sorry Madeline. For everything this time." She wrapped her arms around me this time and gave me a real hug instead. God, what a fuck up I am. She's too sweet to be treated like this.