Mentality

Chapter Twenty Three: Amelie

I woke up in a cold sweat. Not really a cold sweat. But, just a sweat. The windows in my bedroom were already open. I don't really know why I'm so hot. The heater is broken as well, so there's no way it's the heat.

I heard rushed footsteps, a crash, a string of curse words before my bedroom door was swung open. Chris was standing in his pajamas and a toy light saber in his hands.

"I heard screaming?" He looked around my bedroom before dropping his guard.

"No... No one's here." I replied, looking around my bedroom too. Blankets and pillows were on the floor.

"Are you okay?" He asked, cocking his head to the side. I simply nodded.

"Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine. Just a nightmare." I nodded, looking at his dark figure. None of the lights in the apartment were on. It was pitch black .

"Okay... Well, uh... Okay." He nodded, pulling my door closed and leaving me alone. Screaming? I was screaming? Why would I be screaming. I mean, I had a nightmare. But it wasn't anything that bad. IT was just a scene from The Hobbit. The scene were Bilbo finds Thorin Oakenshield dead on the ice cold ground. But, instead of it being Bilbo it was me and instead of Thorin it was Howl.

I carefully stood up out of my bed, clicked the lamp on and walked over to the CD player I had bought a few days after I met Howl and she gave the cd. The most recent CD she's lent me was by 'The Academy Is...'. They're pretty good. Down and Out is my favorite track off the CD she gave. I put that on.

I sat back down on my bed and looked at the clock. 4:32. Awesome. I'm never gonna fall back to sleep.

Anne of Green Gables sat on my bed side table, waiting to be read again. I picked it up and turned it open to where I last left off.

4:32 soon turned into 5:32. That's when I decided to make a pot of coffee. I know Chris will want some when he wakes up, but that won't be for a few more hours.

I'd consider myself an insomniac. I've never gone to the doctor for a real diagnosis, self-diagnosed. But, from what I remember, my mother was an insomniac. And there's reasons behind that. You know, my dad was a crazy man. He was a drunk. My mother...

I just noticed I'm opening up. I've never talked about my family before. Howl's asked about my mum and pop. But, I've lied about that. My mother left after I turned three. Why would she leave? Like I said, my father was a drunk. I had an older brother and a sister. They were 9 and they left with my mother. I was left alone. And, yes. I didn't even get along with my siblings the short time I knew them... I've despised my family ever since. I was only 3 and I was with a drunken, ass maniac of a father.

I suppose I don't even remember my mother a whole. But, from what I do remember, she didn't sleep a whole lot. That's why I think I'm an insomniac.

A dark blue and lime green mug sat on the counter in front of the coffee maker which was pissing out dark, hot liquid into a pot that sat there on the slightly cluttered counter. A small, white glass container sat next the coffee pot. That held white sugar. Inside the fridge was a clear glass bottle filled with milk that I would use to pour into my steaming hot coffee that I would soon sip inside my bedroom whilst reading Anne Of Green Gables.

I poured the hot coffee into my dark blue and lime green mug, and then I put two, not one, two spoonfuls of sugar in to my coffee, then a splash of milk. I placed a spoon in the mug, grabbed a biscuit, and went back into my room to continue to read Anne Of Green Gables.

The full cup was empty within 15 minutes. I got to fill it up more.

"Jesus, Amelie, why are you awake?" Chris asked out of nowhere. I jumped and the mug fell from my hands and crashed to the floor.

"Because I can be." I replied, looking at the mess of coffee mug shards and coffee. I cocked my head and let out a rather deep sigh. "I couldn't sleep. Too much going through my mind." I answered truthfully. I shook my head and looked up at Chris.

"I clean that up. It was my fault." Chris waved off the mess that was in front of me. I nodded and pulled down a pink and yellow spotted mug, poured some coffee in it, not one but two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of milk with a spoon and a biscuit.

"Thanks." I looked at him and nodded as I walked back into my bedroom to continue reading. Before I sat back onto my bed, I clicked play on my CD player. The music filled the quiet space. Coffee occupied the mug that sat on my clean bedside table that sat next to my bed which my body sat on. It's gonna be a good day. I hope. It could be utter garbage too! Which I'd be fine with too, I guess. I mean, life is, well, life.

"I didn't mean to scare you, Amelie." Chris sat on my bed. I must've been too enthralled in my to notice that the door was opened and a body walked in. That is me. Too caught up to notice anything.

"No. No. It's fine. I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights and I forgot I moved and I forgot there was a person living with me."

"You wanna talk about it?

"Not really, no. You know me, Christopher. I'd rather not share my life with anyone." I sighed, staring at my cup of coffee. "I've never had anyone to share my life with, I suppose that's why. I'm sorry. I just, I grew up on my own. I left my father when I was seventeen. That was nine years ago..." I cocked my head to the side. "I had to fend for myself. I hated it. He was a drunk asshole. I hated him." I spat, throwing my book to the ground next to me and placing my cup on the bedside table which was next to the bed I was sitting on. I pulled my legs closer to me. "I don't want to talk about it. Now get out of my room." I looked at Chris. He nodded and got up, leaving me alone in my bedroom with my thoughts.