Mentality

Chapter Forty Five: Howl

"Oh. Baloney! That won't work!" I exclaimed, looking at a book with Jackson. It was a tabloid. But, we were looking at the models.

"Come on, Babe." He smiled, running his hand through my hair.

"Fine. I can't believe." I shook my head and stood up off my bed. "Ready?" I looked at him.

"Go on." He smiled. He wants me to "strut". I haven't done that in 7 years.

"Okay." I slowly walked towards him, shaking my butt.

"Stop." He laughed, showing off that beautiful smile of his.

"Why?" I crawled onto my bed. "Does this...turn you on?" I smirked, looking at him. It does. It totally does. We'd never really crossed the line when it came to that. Considering we've only been together for four months.

"Stop... Please..." He whined shaking his head. I pecked his lips.

"Sorry." I smiled, sitting down on his lap. He kissed me back, almost pushing the line. "Stop... Babe..." I said, pushing him off me. "My phone..."

"Sorry." He cringed. I sat up and looked at him.

"I was thinking about coloring my hair." I said, running my hand through my extremely light pink hair. It really need to be redyed. It'd been 3 and a half months since the last time I did that. I've also been think about that a lot since that day.

"Really? What color?" He asked, touching the tips of my hair. My hair was awfully long.

"Brown. Maybe a red. Mostly brown." I smiled.

"But, I like the pink." He whined.

"I'm always up for a change. Oh! And I forgot to tell you! Dan and Phil offered me a job!" I exclaimed, laying across his legs.

"Really? What?"

"They needed a female model for their store. And I was their first pick." I smiled, clapping my hands together.

"What did you say?"

"I, of course, said yes. I mean. I'm just going to be wearing their shirts and that's it." I shrugged.

"I don't want you to do it." Jackson ordered.

"Why? You don't own me, Jackson." I sat up and looked at him.

"That doesn't matter. If you take this one job, more people will be offering you jobs. I don't want you flouncing your body like that." He said.

"I don't flounce my body around. I gotta go. Louise is taking me out shopping."

"For?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes. It does."

"I need shoes. I left most of my shoes in Maine." I scoured, standing up and grabbing my purse.

"You didn't tell me about this!" Jackson yelled, following me out my room. I stopped in front of the lounge.

"Why should I? I knew of I even thought about brining it up, You would say no! I already told my brother I was going. So, I'm going." I said, continuing my trek out of the apartment.

"Howl!" Jackson exclaimed.

"You don't own me." I looked at him one more time.

"If you leave this is it! We're done!" He called. I stopped in my tracks. I turned around and walked back.

"Sorry." I smirked, walking past him and towards Louise, who was walking towards the apartment. She looked at me and stopped.

"What?" She asked, walking with me.

"I just broke up with Jackson." I said, walking with her down the street. I let out a sigh as we walked down the street.

"Are you okay? Do you want to get some fro yo?" She asked, looking over her shoulder.

"I'm... Fine. For the first time in a long time, I'm fine..." I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. I just... Let's go get wine... Or, let's go to a bar. No. No. Let's go dress shopping. Then, wine." I nodded. Louise chuckled lightly and nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay, Howl? We can go shopping another day. I don't have an issue with it." Louise said, stopping me.

"I'm positive. I just need to do something." I closed my eyes and nodded.

{***}

I haven't actually seen Dan all weekend. Well, he did stay at Maia's house last night. He left home an hour before he had to be there to have coffee with Chris. But, Phil was still home. All well. He's probably busy.

Things are only a little bit awkward between Phil and I. I mean. It could be worse. I could hate him. But, that's the thing. I don't hate him. I don't just like him either. That sounded pretty harsh. I didn't mean it like that. The thing is, I wouldn't be hurting just Dan if Phil and I did date. I'd be hurting Eloise too. And, Eloise and I have grown to be pretty good friends. I wouldn't want to ruin that friendship. I don't want Dan and Phil to quote-unquote break up either. I love both of them to death and I would just die if the two of them weren't friends.

I walked down the stairs and into the lounge where I knew Dan would be. And, luckily enough, he was. He was sitting on the couch, his laptop on his lap and a hoodie on.

"Hey there sister," He stated, his eyes glued to his laptop screen, "what's up? I heard shouting earlier."

"Oh... You heard that?" I asked, looking at him as I sat next to him. He nodded. "Jackson and I broke up." I mumbled, playing with my hands.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry I asked." Dan looked at me like he had taken something he shouldn't have taken.

"Where have you been?"

"Oh. Well, Chris wanted to have coffee yesterday before I went over to Maia's."

"I haven't seen you since."

"Oh..." He pushed his hair and hood back. I saw a small mark on his neck.

"Dan, you have something on your neck." I pointed to my neck where I caught a glimpse of his. He looked at me with shok on his face.

"It's nothing." He covered up his neck with his hand and stood up.

"No, no. It's definitely something." I stood up and stepped in front of him. "Move your hand, Dan." I looked him dead in the eye. "Or I'll have to use force."

He sighed and dropped his hand to his side. A hicky was on his neck.

"Wait..." I looked at it again then at him. "Did... Daniel, did... You didn't?" I looked at him and shook my head. "Tell me you did not sleep with her." I pierced my lips.

"I did not sleep with her." He stated, looking at the ground.

"Daniel James Howell,"

"Okay, fine. I..."

"You what!?" I shouted, taking a step away from him. "You did... Dan!"

"What?! Howl, we're both consenting adults!" He retorted. Phil stepped into the living room.

"Out!" Dan and I shouted at the same time. Phil nodded, turned around and walked to somewhere.

"I can't believe you did that!" I looked at him.

"Howl, you need to get over your hatred for my girlfriend." The words flowed right out of his mouth. They came out so smoothly too. "I love her and she loves me."

"Bullshit!" I shook my head. I felt betrayed. "Bullshit! All of it! First Eloise and Pj start dating! Next, Chris and Amelie get engaged after a week of dating! Next, you and Maia consummate your relationship! And here I am broken hearted after two break ups!" I yelled. Dan looked at me and cocked his head. "I..." I shook my head. Dan went to give me a hug but I stepped away. "Just leave me alone." I shook my head and went to my bedroom. I pushed the door shut and locked it, sealing off te outside world.