Mentality

Chapter Ninety One: Eloise

Everybody was leaving me. At first, I thought just Dan and Maia would be sort of leaving me. I knew they would never really leave, they were two of my best friends afterall. I could still visit them.

Even when Phil told me he and Howl were engaged, I bit my tongue. They wouldn't leave me forever either. Phil was my brother, hell, my actual number one best friend. He definitely wouldn't leave me, he promised.

When we were kids, we made a pact to never leave each other. We had plans. We would get married, buy two houses right next to each other, have two beagles, and all the plants we could ever dream of. We had plans, but now he was ditching them. He was going to run off with Howl and leave me.

I suppose I should have expected this, and I shouldn't be such a downer about it. Phil had his own life, as did Howl, Maia, and Dan. It just so happened not to have me in it. No matter how much that tore me up inside, I had to let it go. I didn't want to hold them back.

I was pacing my hotel room. If everyone was leaving me, what would I do? I still had my painting career, and my Youtube career. That would help me do whatever I wanted. Maybe I could go travelling. No, that would never do, I hate travelling.

There was a loud knocking on the door, causing me to stop in my tracks. Not a single word was uttered, but I knew it was Phil. I cautiously opened the door.

"Leezy-" Phil began.

I cut him off, "I'm sorry, Phil, sorry for my outburst. I'm really happy for you and all."

I didn't say anything else. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but something held me back, Possibly the hope for my brother to have the best life he possible could.

"No, I understand," Phil replied, "I know you, Eloise. You're scared that everybody's leaving you."

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. I stepped away from the door, allowing Phil to step in. He wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to hold any of you back. I'm just a rope tying everybody down, and I'm sorry. I wish Mum and Dad had given me up for adoption."

Phil rubbed my back, "No, Eloise, don't say that. If they had, I wouldn't have my best friend. You're not a rope tying everyone down. You don't make everything worse, you make them better."

"Thanks. You don't have to worry about me, you deserve the best life you can get."

"I already have it," he smiled, "I have the best friends anyone could ever dream of, I'm marrying the woman of my dreams, and I have the best sister in the world. My life is pretty great."

I smiled. His life was pretty good, so was Howl's, Dan's, and Maia's. I was so happy for them.

"What am I supposed to do?" we pulled away from each other, "Everybody's going in their own directions."

Phil shrugged, "Whatever you want. You're an adult, Eloise. Get your art in a museum, make more comic books with Maia, build your life the way you want it."

I smiled. He always knew what to say. That's why he's my best friend. I hugged him again and sighed, "Promise you'll visit?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Phil laughed, "I couldn't leave my favorite sister behind."

"I'm your only sister, dummy."

Phil laughed again, "True. Don't worry, Eloise. Everybody's lives might be moving on, but nobody is moving on without you."

"Thanks, Lil."

He hugged my shoulders, "No problem, Leezy."

We both laughed. He had to return to Howl, leaving me alone. I sat down on my bed and smiled.

I guess he was right. As much as I hated change, most of the time it left me behind, this time was different. Dan and Maia might be their own family now, but they were still my family. Even Howl and Phil, and Chris and Amelie. They might have their own family, but their still my family. We're all still a family, and nothing can change that.

There was no way any of us would leave the rest. Technically speaking, by Howl and Phil getting married, Howl and Dan became my siblings-in-laws. By extent, Maia did as well. Their kids became my nieces and nephews, and all of our lives wove together.

None of us were abandoning the rest. Nobody was abandoning me. Thanks to Phil, I see that now.

As I was smiling at my hands, my phone buzzed. I picked it up to see Joshua was calling me. Ever since Vidcon, Joshua and I had been talking a lot. We texted, Skyped, and talked on the phone at various times. I answered with my usual, "Hello?"

"Eloise, hi!" Joshua stated.

"Hi, Joshua," I replied.

"For the last time, call me Joven, I hate my name."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine, Joven."

I could almost hear him roll his eyes. We both laughed. There was no hesitation in his next question.

"Hey, so, I have a week off in two weeks. I was wondering if you might want to go somewhere with me."

"Depends on where."

He was silent for a minute, "Disney World?"

My jaw dropped, "Seriously?"

"We can go somewhere else, or you don't have to come, I just thought-"

"Are you kidding me?" I interrupted, "I would love to go! I've always wanted to go to Disney World! It's like a life dream of mine!"

Joven's voice turned to shock, "Really?"

"Yes! Oh God, I'm so excited! Thank you for inviting me!"

"I was hoping you'd come," Joven's voice echoed his smile, "I didn't want to go alone."

"This is amazing, I'm so excited."

"Alright, that's awesome! How about we meet in Orlando on August twentieth, and stay until the twenty ninth?"

"This is so cool, I'm so excited," I began to dance around the room.

Joven laughed, "Woah, keep your pants on. It's not for another month."

"I don't care, I'm so excited!"

"Well, I'll see you then."

"See you then."

With that, we hung up. I glanced up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Everybody might be moving on with their lives, but I was moving to. My life was changing in itself.

Maybe I wouldn't be left alone.