Mentality

Chapter Forty One: Howl

After two hours of getting ready, Jackson texted me

Jackson>Me: Hey, babe. I won't be able to make it tonight. Maybe next week.

"What a motherfucking bastard." I muttered, throwing my phone at my bed. It took me two and a half hours to get ready to go out with him. And he says he can't go.

I pulled my hair out from my ponytail and sat on the edge of my bed. After a minute, a tear rolled down my cheek. I crawled under my blankets and finally let the tears go. This isn't the first time Jackson has done this. Over the three months of us dating, he's left me 4 times. First he thinks I'm not skinny enough for him. And now he's ditching me on date night. What a bitch.

I laid on my bed, reading Game Of Thrones on my phone, when suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I asked, masking the fact that I was crying.

"It's me... Phil..." Phil said, opening the door slowly. I was turned away from the door, so he didn't see me. "Is everything okay?" He asked, entering my room. The floorboards creaked slightly.

"Yeah." I said, my voice cracking ever so softly.

"Dan and I were wondering why you haven't left yet." He said, sitting on the corner of my bed.

"The fucker cancelled on me. First he tells me I need to loose weight and that I'm not perfect. Then he cancels." I sighed, closing my eyes tightly. I felt Phil lift my blankets. The bed dipped down a little and then a pair of long lanky arms wrapped around my torso.

"I'm fine, Phil. Really." I said, keeping my eyes closed. He placed his lips on my shoulder. His breathing tickled me.

"No. You're not." He whispered. I sighed and rolled so I was facing him. How on earth did he fit on this bed?!

"Why do you care? You're just my brother's best friend." I whispered. Phil moved his hand up to my cheek and wiped away my tears.

"Cause..." He paused for a minute. "No one should ditch anyone. Especially on date night." He whispered.

"I wasn't going to go anyway." I lied, pushing my face into my bed. I was going to go.

"Oh. Don't pull that shit, Howl." Phil said, rubbing my shoulder.

"Can you just leave me alone, Phil? I know you're trying to make me feel better. But, it isn't working." I turned and looked at him. He nodded and left, leaving me alone. I pulled my blanket over my head and soon fell asleep.

{***}

"What?" I looked at Phil. "What is wrong with you?" It's been a few days since Jackson has ditched me. We rescheduled date night for tonight.

"Why should you go? He's just going to leave you again!!" Phil yelled, walking after me. I was going towards my room to be left alone.

"You don't know that, Phil! Why the fuck do you even care?! You've been bitter towards him since I met him!" I yelled, standing in the door frame. Phil looked at me and his face fell slightly. We've been yelling and screaming at each other for the last 30 minutes. Luckily, Dan was out. We haven't thrown anything or broken anything. Which is good. Considering I almost threw Dan's favorite mug at Phil...

"I am not bitter to him!"

"Bullshit! I've seen the way you look at him!" I practically screamed. "Why do you care? Tell me!!"

"I love you!!! Okay?! I love you, Howl Grace!!! Holy shit do I love you! And I can't do fuck all about it!! Why?! Because you're my best friend's sister!" He yelled at me. I went to yell back. But, I couldn't. I just looked at him. That's when I noticed his eyes were red. Was he crying? Oh fuck. I can't... I can't look at him