Fluorescents

2

OOTD ON SIDE OR TOP

"You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry"

I hum along to the music as I finish piling my clothes into my suitcase. Matt's over dramatic reaction to hearing the name of the band I was going to tour with worried me but he soon apologized and told me not to worry. I took his reassuring words and then decided to continue my conversation with him. After almost an hour of us sharing jokes and remembering tons of tour memories he told me he had to enter the studio and I decided to let him go in order to let him do his job and so I could finally finish my packing. I finally zip up my suitcase and sing along to the lyrics that I have heard and sung millions of times throughout my life.

"I wish I was special, you're so fucking special." I belt along with Thom but I quickly silence myself when I remember that I live in a small studio loft surrounded by many other apartments. I love music and singing but I can't help but be a bit shy when it comes to allowing others to see that part of me. That's why I decided to work backstage.

The music continues as I make my way to the bathroom for an afternoon shower. Later on today I'll be entering a tour bus where I won't be able to shower in my very own bathroom for two months. Being able to tour has its perks but it also has its disadvantages. Maybe I get to revel in live music every night but I'm also part of the hard work it takes to set it up every morning and taking it down every night. I have the privilege of getting to travel around the country but I also have the tendency to miss my house and all the familiar amenities it offers. I also get the opportunity to meet new artists but I'm still never sure if the artists are going to be friendly like matts band or if they're going to be pretentious assholes. I guess it's all part of the job. It literally is. Part of my job is being able to be patient and courteous with both my crew and the artists. Hopefully this upcoming band makes it as easy as Cage. This time around I won't be just another assistant going around doing unnecessary things and occasionally doing a stage managers job. This time I'll be able to run everything.

I turn the shower nob and adjust it to my liking. I strip and then head into the shower allowing the warmth to cover me and relieve my tense muscles. Matts words sprawl across my mind and I can't help but feel like there was something he wasn't telling me. He told me he was just teasing me but I still feel unsure. My curiosity has been eating away at me but I refrain from searching them on the internet because of the media's lack of trustworthiness. Last time I had made the mistake of googling and doing research on Cage before actually meeting them. I had learned many things online that only made me more nervous but when it came down to it I realized it was all lies. They were really sweet and humble guys that I wished I had actually met before judging. Now I know the truth and we're close friends but I've committed to never trying to learn about the bands I tour with from the Internet. It usually is just a bunch of lies and unnecessary drama that is over exaggerated in order to ruin the bands reputation and image.

The next song begins to play and my heart flutters as I hear the familiar melody begin to play through the speakers. Soon after the familiar melody begins, the oh so familiar voice erupts from it.

"I am the one you left for dead." His voice echoes in the confined space and I smile to myself before singing along. I continue on through the Cage song, singing along. Over the course of the tour with them I never had the courage to sing along with them on stage. Even after they begged me millions of times when they over heard me singing in the shower. So this has become my way of dealing with my inability to perform on stage even though I've wanted to ever since I could remember. Too soon the song finishes up and some time after I follow suit and finish up my business in the shower. I change and use a towel to lightly dry my hair before letting it air dry, I don't like the damage blow drying leaves on my hair, I much prefer to use it on special occasions where time becomes a luxury.