Fluorescents

64

" Cause I was still unsure
But it's something I'm used to
And I can tell by your face
No one's ever been rude to you."

The familiar music plays again and I rustle in my spot, pulling the much more comfortable blanket than usual in an attempt to let it hug around me but being stopped from doing so by a load. My eyes open and I gaze towards a short marble staircase leading to a large door, the room becoming much more familiar as I turn in my spot and gaze at the white bed sheets hugging half of my body. I turn completely and gaze at the load clinging onto the blanket, his chiseled back in view as he lays on his stomach, his hair a set of messy waves above his head. I feel my heart stopping as I come to realization that last night was not just a dream. I was completely sober but a part of me still hoped that it had all been a different non realistic moment. That I wasn't stupid enough to let him do what he did.

The ringtone startles me again and I reach for it as it now lays above the nightstand. Shutting it off as quickly as I can but failing at doing it quick enough as I turn around and watch his eyebrows knit together and his eyes begin to flutter open. He opens and shuts them for a few seconds before taking notice of my figure laying before him and opening them completely.

" Good morning." He mutters in his British accent accept in a much more deep and groggy tone. I open my mouth to reciprocate the gesture but stop myself before I can. He seems sweet enough but I don't know what to expect from him anymore. I'm not even sure if I should trust him. He took advantage of me. Yes he didn't exactly gain anything from it. And I was completely sober. And he asked for permission. But still. It didn't mean I wanted it. I scorn myself for being stupid and huff after I lift myself up to lean my back against the headboard. " is everything alright sweetheart?" He asks, my body flinching as his hand appears under the sheets and lands on my exposed thigh. I move my leg away and his posture instantly changes. " We should get going." He mutters, taking a blanket from the mounds of them on the bed and using it to wrap it around his hips as he gets up from the bed even though I know he's wearing his briefs under. A stinging sensation resides in my chest but I don't bother doing anything against it. I've already embarrassed myself enough. I lay in the bed as he reaches for his clothes on the floor and tosses them in a basket, grabbing my own and tossing them in as well. I think of telling him but I let my pride get the best of me as I continue ignoring him. " Feel free to take a shower I'll just freshen up in one of the other lads washrooms." He rushes his words not even allowing me to speak up if I would have decided to, before reaching for his clothes in his suitcase and walking out the door.

The sounds of the door shutting surprises me more than I thought it would and I lay dumbfounded on the bed, an unfamiliar shirt I wasn't wearing last night adorning my chest and a pair of boxers that surely aren't mine clinging to my hips. His smell lingers after he's gone and I bring the shirt I'm wearing up against my nostrils, the scent much more soothing and enjoyable than I thought it would be. For the short amount of time I've spent close to Alex I've noticed that he isn't the type that bathes in cologne. Rather his everyday aroma seems to come from a combination of his hair products, his shower products and his natural scent. A scent that all together has come to please me.

The ringtone comes again from my phone and I pick it up from my lap, looking down at the screen before taking a deep breath and answering the person on the other end.

" Hello?" I question my voice much more quieter and hoarse than I expected. What did I do last night? What did he make me do? The thought of me screaming from the pleasure runs through my head and I find myself fantasizing about something that occurred outside of a dream. Something that actually occurred in my reality.

" Jocelyn-" the voice practically screams on the other end, scaring me and bringing me back to a more present reality. I mutter to insinuate that I heard and she sighs on the other end before speaking. " Can you please just hurry up and get here, Derek is not happy with you right now." Claire informs me, her voice lowering as she says the last part. I tell her I'll be there without a second thought on how I'm going to achieve at doing so before hanging up and putting my phone away.