September's Staircase [On Hold]

Chapter 29

I dumbly stare at the white doors as if waiting for Matty to come pushing through it and demanding all the attention in the room like his presence so often does but he doesn't and eventually I snap out of my Healy infused trance, letting out a puff of strangled air before laying back down on my bed and pulling the white duvet behind me.

My cheek still feels warm and I am sure it's beet red, still searing from the aftermath of his touch, my mind, the sane part of me is repulsed in every sense possible by him but the cynical part of me, the hopeless romantic who has read to many books, seen to many movies and dreamed to many dreams sees him as misunderstand and a work in process some kind of hidden gold waiting for my claws to sink into his pale seemingly perfect skin and claim him as mine for everything that he is and everything that we could be once he is saved. Once he finds his redemption maybe I can help him get there be the push he needs to climb out of the dark.

Obviously this is where the problem lays I sound like those delusional teenagers who think every guy they meet is meant to be the one. Besides I don't believe anyone can be saved unless they truly want to and Matty does not exactly scream 'help me.'

Him and I have nothing other than some pointless stake claim he thinks he has over me. I almost laugh out loud at myself for even entertaining the idea that Matty and I can be more than what we are which is basically some jacked up protection, with some sh!tty conversations, tons of unanswered questions and a confused September. Can you blame me though ? I can't help it I'm one of those people whose heads are stuck in the clouds, conjuring up a different variation of life that could never be, try as we might. He is a tidal wave of different emotions, one minute I am no good and nothing he is interested in and the other he 'refuses' to think of me with another.

I do suppose even then he says he does not want me so this ridiculous and he has already stripped me of my strength leaving me a quivering mess in the shell of my body afraid to step foot out of my house and conflicted with whether or not I should trust him and whoever or whatever he is involved in or get my cousin and flee to another town or something, but there is no guarantee I won't be followed and as much as I hate to admit it he did came back for me.

I fear telling the cops, what if they come after Antelica? Not the cops but you get it. I can not and will not let him take away my dignity leaving me pawing after what little scraps he decides to throw at me.

He is not interested in me in the slightest he is just a proud man who thinks to highly of himself. He expects me to droll over him and can not stomach the idea of one female not being interested in him but in some other male of this town, the town he believes he is the ruler of. That's what these confusing things he says is all about and not that he too has conflicted emotions.

Well suck it Matty, in another life if I was not me I would of gone out right this instance and found me another just to grind his bones and infuriate him. Enough of this nonsense, all I'd like to do is forget about my past week, erase Dylan out of my mind and the other questionable men that hung around the cottage.

If I do have to trust in Matty it would be to keep me safe and clear this mess up so we both can move on with our lives scotch free of each other and perhaps then I may actually enjoy living here if I do not choose to move that is.

I stare at my pomegranate stained walls as visions of Alec and I twirling around the checkered flooring of sours or us catching a movie at the local theatre with Antelica at our side, smiling up at some tall handsome non-Danny boy parades in front of my eyes.

I'd be oblivious to the other side of things a stranger to Matty and happy like how it should of been. The visions begins to distort with unshed liquid pooling at my lids and I blink allowing the water to trickle down my face freely. Groaning I sluggishly crawl out of bed turning off my light before retreating to the white silk comfort and eventually kissing conciosness goodbye.

"Love" a calloused hand runs over my forehead before fingers are lost in the tendrils of stubborn bedhead and I lazily peak an eye open, hazel eyes gleam down at me and sheer horror shoots through my body like a caged animal being released from two years worth of confinement. Dylan.

As expected his hand covers my mouth and he mockingly moves his other hand to place a lone finger over his lips, as mines quiver from fear. Not again. I nod and he slowly moves his hand off my mouth, pulling my duvet down. He eyes me as I climb out of bed before smiling down at me letting out a dazed sigh. My knees wobble while I walk towards him and he grabs me pulling me into his chest and smelling my hair before releasing me.

"I hope you didn't think I'd let him take you so easily." No but i had hoped he'd shot you in the skull. I shiver, shaking my head no I did not hope that no one deserves that. He moves around my room shoving some clothes into a bag and throwing glances my direction before throwing me my combat and waiting by the door.

I take time to think of a possible escape route as he sticks his head out my door and looks down the corridor much like Matty did but there is no way I am making a fuss, not while Antelica is near. I'd go with him once it gets him out of this house and at this point I could not care less if Matty saves me or Dylan has me for good. It seems I'd always be shoved back into this situation anyway so I follow him silently and obidently out of the house and down the street to his vehicle.

It's different from the last, red and in no way does it suit a criminal. He doesn't tie me or restrain me at all other than him child locking me in. I contemplate elbowing him in the throat or bashing his head against the staring wheel before climbing out of his side and running. "I know you are scared and confused and that he has not told you the truth or explained any of this to you. I don't want to leave you in the dark,love. I'd show you the city and you can choose whether or not it's something you want in your life if he is still the one you want. Just how safe is your haven ?"

I shiver at his words but I don't give him the satisfaction of a response as much as I'd enjoying screaming I do not want Matty. I am afraid of him and all my senses are on high alert but I must admit my curiosity has been peeked. From the first day he told me to stay away from the city I automatically gathered interest in it but when I had drived downtown into the city everything had seemed in the norm and had reminded me of a movie I had seen earlier this year it was airly similar, small town beauty.

He takes all the right bends and roads to reach downtown and parks his car in an empty spot near the front entrance of a club. Oh no, no, no way in hell am I going in there especially not dressed like this or with him what the hell. I start to protest and he shoots me a glare his almond color eye darkening in displeasure.

He looks around the lot, eyes lingering on the a group of about eight people huddled around a car once he assures they are paying no mind to us he opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off shoving him against his window, hard and climbing into the backseat in hopes that the back door opens. He grabs at my ankle pulling me back and I loose my balance, my sharp chin knocks against the center consol but I don't stop I use the seats as leverage and continue to pull my body to the back preparing to scream but he beats me to it, "September stop!"

"Hey hey September stop shhh" I let out a splutter of incoherent words bolting upright and looking around the room until blonde hair comes into sight and Alec sits at the edge of my bed. "You alright? Seems like you were fighting off hulk" he laughs and I scramble closer to him hugging him for reassurance that I am in fact awake and laughing along with him.

"Rough night" I state simply my dream all but forgotten. Alec has a way of making everything seem lighter and I am grateful for his intrusion. "Haven't seen you since I got back, you've been hiding out in here all week so i thought I'd give ya a little check up and I brought some ice cream." He pats my back and only then do I realize I am still clutching onto him. I release him and push myself back a little so my morning breath does not knock the poor guy out. My door comes flying open and before it bangs against my wall I already know who it is just by the rudeness of the gesture.

"Sep- what the f*ck are you doing here?" Matty seethes down at Alec and raises his eyebrow before glaring at me.