Bad Boy Love ~ Part 44

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I'm driving.

Driving further and further away from Jacob Groom.

My knuckles turn white from my grip on the steering wheel. I click on the radio, in hopes of drowning out the silence.

I'm never getting him back.

I don't want him back.

I miss him.

I grumble aloud. I'm going insane. That must be it! He's driving me insane! Like looney tunes/straight jacket insane.

How does he effect me in this way?

I hit my hand on the steering wheel as I feel my cheeks get hot. The songs on the radio blur together.

Fake people singing about fake happiness. Songs that are supposed to make you feel good. Bullshit songs. Fucking lies. Most of the artists who sing these don't even write them!

I look down at my speedometer, 85 miles per hour.

The speed limit is 35 on this road. Slow the fuck down, Maya. You're gonna--

I quickly slam on my brakes as I notice the red light. The car crossing the intersection honks at me before briefly flipping me off.

Lovely.

I put my focus back on the road. I breath deeply and try to calm myself down.

He's an asshole. I don't want him.

I make the last turn to my house and finally see it.

I'm home.

I pull into the driveway and notice my mom's car parked in the garage. She's home.

I quickly shuffle out of my car and hurry inside.

"Mom?" I call out as I burst through the front door.

My mom steps out from the kitchen. "Maya!" She smiles as I run over and hug her.

I didn't realize how much I missed her until now.

I feel a tear run down my face as I burry my face into her shoulder.

"I missed you," she says as she pats my back. "And I'm so sorry for lying to you about your father. That was wrong of me. I won't ever lie to you again."

"I know," I say as I continue to softly cry. I want to yell at her. To curse at her for lying to me. But right now, I can't. I just want her to comfort me. God damn Maya, pull yourself together.

"What's wrong?" she asks as she pulls away.

I smile weakly as I wipe the tears from my face.

"I felt something real with a boy. And I think I messed everything up."

...

We sat in the living room together for the next two hours. We talked about everything.

I told her about Ryan. I told her about Jake. I told her about everyone. She cursed both Ryan and Jake. She told me to forget both of them and to find someone truly good for me. I agreed with her and told her that I would find someone new.

I lied.

Then I turn my attention to her.

It's silent for a bit, and she nervously fidgets in her seat. She knew the question that was coming.

"How's Dad?" I ask, trying to sound as natural as possible. Saying "Dad" feels so weird.

"He was good. Doing well." She says as she gives me a tight smile.

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