Damaged (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty-One

I peaked my eyes open, slight rays of sunlight streaming into the room. Nate's arms were still tightly wrapped around me, preventing me from moving.

I felt slight goosebumps on my bare skin and pulled the sheets tighter around me, keeping me warm.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and that's when realisation hit me like a bus; hard and cold. I slept with Nate while I was with Gerald. I cheated on him, I cheated on Gerald. Oh my god, how could I do that? I cheated on him.

As soon as I thought that guilt and regret filled me up. I cheated on him. I did the most terrible thing ever, I cheated on someone as kind and loving as Gerald.

I tried my best to free myself from Nate's hold but failed since his grip was tight. He stirred and then slowly opened his eyelids.

"What's wrong?" He asked groggily, his arms still holding me tightly.

"I was trying to move but you're holding me too tight." I said and pointed down at his arms draped around me.

"I know."

I raised my brow. "So let me go."

He shook his head. "If I let go I know you're going to leave and I don't want that."

My heart melted at his words and I wanted to fall back into his arms and stay there, but my mind kept on drifting back to Gerald. Oh no, I fucked up majorly.

"Nate, please let me go. I need to do something." I pleaded him, really just wanting to go and get my head cleared out.

He let go of me and smirked. "There, you can go now."

I narrowed my eyes at him. It wasn't normal of him to just let go so easily.

Then I realised that in order for me to get off he would have to see me naked or if I used the sheets to cover myself then he'd have nothing and I'd have to see him naked which would just be awkward. Sly bastard.

I scanned the room for my clothes and found them many feet away from where I was. I let out a frustrated groan and ran a hand through my hair, which was extremely knotted.

I shot him a deadly glare. "I need my clothes." I said through gritted teeth.

He smirked evilly at me. "Then go get it, sunshine."

He was really testing my patience, I needed my clothes to dress and get out of here. I don't know what I was going to tell Gerald but I couldn't hide this from him, it'll just make me a even worst person than I already was.

I let out breath of air and frustratedly hit my head against the headboard. It stung a bit but I honestly deserved worse for what I just did to Gerald.

How could I have lost so much of control that the thought of cheating never crossed my mind once? How could I have been so careless? God, I hate myself so much, I'm such a horrible person. I cheated, I actually cheated. I'd always hated cheaters and now I was a piece of filthy scum just like all the other cheaters I hated in this world. And to make it worse, I hadn't just cheated on anyone; I cheated on someone I cared about, someone who didn't deserve to be cheated on.

I just really needed to leave from here and tell Gerald what happened, I knew it was gonna hurt him and ruin our relationship but I couldn't hide it away from him even though I wanted to.

I guess my distress was showing on my face because Nate lightly grazed my cheek and looked at me with concern etched on his face.

"Hey, what's troubling you sunshine?" He asked softly.