I have been here for a month and I honestly hate it so much. I would say the only good thing out of this is that I have met a new friend. His name is Bailey. The are so many rules here and it sucks. Like if you refuse to eat then they will mash it down and force you to drink it. I am not happy being forced to do anything. You get no privacy as the inspect your room once a week to look for any food you might have hidden. I haven't done that but I have been forced to eat, several times but that was in the first 2 weeks. I have been trying so hard to block the voices that say I am fat and tried to get better.
School was out for a month for spring break. Normally it's only a week or two but they decided on a month because they had a new building being built at the moment. I am hoping I can leave here before school goes back because I don't want to miss school. Which is probably unlikely since school start again next week!
I won't be out unless I can prove to the staff here that I can beat this. It's so hard but I want to. Why did I let myself get like this? I felt alone and I didn't want to speak to Ruby about it because she was hurting too and I couldn't put this on her too, it would make me feel horrible. Even though in the end I made her worry. I haven't seen Ruby the whole time I have been here. I cried last night because of how much I miss her. I also miss Chloe, Jesse and Jordan.
Today was weigh day and everyone hated that. They are basically saying that putting on weight is a good thing. Most people would think it is but to people you don't want to be told that, not so good.
"Beca" The woman said and I headed into the weighing room
"You've put on 3 pounds! Well done Bec" She smiled
I just nodded and walked out, heading to the main living area to see Bailey.
"I'm going home tomorrow!" He smiled happily
"You are so lucky" I sighed
"Text me when you go home? We are meeting for sure!" He smiled and I nodded
Now I literally have no one, I hate everyone else. They just get on my nerves! I then got called into see Julie. She ran this whole place and she decided when people leave. Please let me be going home soon!
"Just called you in here to say that you are doing really well, better than I thought you would be Bec. I know you hate it here so I am thinking about letting you go home. You have to promise me you will stick with everything though, you have such a caring sister who is going to help you and if you ever feel thoughts about this then you can come here at anytime and talk. If you do go then I would still want to see you once a week to talk" She told me
"I don't normally do this but you seem so much different than the others and I believe in you so much Bec" She added and I smiled
I can go home?! Omg, First time I have smiled since I have been there.
"I'm going to tell your sister to do some of the things we do here, eating all of your meals and drinking like normal and not too much exercise at the moment. I know you love your running and you can still do your running but nothing over board okay? You've been here a month and you have done so well and I can't wait to see what you are like another month from now. I really hope you beat this Bec" Julie smiled happily
"ThankYou so much. It makes me feel good that you have faith in me. I know my sister will but you are the first person to make me believe I can get better since I have been here. I promise I am going to try so hard" I told her and she smiled
I walked out, thanking her again, heading to see Bailey.
"I'm going home too" I told him and he smiled
"Are you going back to school?" He asked me
"Yeah, It starts again next week but my sister works there so she will be checking on me every now and then" I told him
"My mum has enrolled me into a new school, hoping it would stop the bullying, I can't remember the name. All I know it that it's on Sunaton Drive" He said
"Brentwood High School?" I asked and he nodded
"I go there, it's a nice school. No one is horrible there. Well I did meet one girl who was a bitch but apparently she moved last week" I said
"Awesome! Well I will have to meet you in the morning" Bailey smiled and I agreed
*Next Day*
Bailey has just gone home and I am currently waiting for Ruby to pick me up. I have had breakfast so I feel stuffed and horrible. I just have to keep ignoring the thoughts though, I have come this far. I don't need to fail now.
"Bec, Ruby is here" Julie shouted happily
I walked to the main area and ran to Ruby, giving her a massive hug. Words can not describe how much I have missed her. After going over everything with Julie we could finally leave.
"I've missed you so much Bug!"
"I've missed you two, Promise you won't give up on me. I mean I could have a bad day and feel like shit" I sighed sadly
"You are my little sister, I will never give up on you. I am here for you all the time, whenever in the day it is. Just come and talk to me" She said and I smiled
I wanted to do a before and after picture. I looked at the picture they took when I first got there. Now that I look at it I can see how unhealthy I looked. I guess that is a good thing I think that.
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"So do you want to go and see Chloe or anyone?" Ruby asked
"Oh no, Can we just spend time together?"
"Of course! Was hoping you'd say that. It has sucked without you home" She told me
"It has sucked not being home but I guess it helped"
"You look so much better Bec. I am honestly so proud of you babe"
I thanked her and we headed home and just spent they day watching movies and talking. I love my sister and could not ask for anyone better.
*I know this isn't how it works when you are hospitalized but I am no expert, It's only a fan fiction so please no hate. Vote and comment. Will update again soon*
