Private Joy.

Chp 9.

I woke up with a heavy sigh. Last night was a total disaster. It felt like a nightmare. Flashbacks of everything that had happened kept coming to me all throughout the night. Especially Prince's face. His face when I announced that I love him.

It haunted me.

I didn't and still don't know what to think. What was he going to say now ?..if he even decides to mention it after the hideousness that was thrown at him.

I couldn't forgive my father for what he said. It disgusted me. How dare he call him that word. It made want to punch him in the face. Prince was being so respectful and my father just threw that right back in his face. I didn't blame for Prince for not saying anything. It probably would've just added more fuel to the fire.

My mother came into my room later that night and I got to have a nice cry on her shoulder. She said that although his words upset her just as much as it did to me, he was only being protective of his one and only daughter.

She carefully reminded me that Prince is my first boyfriend and that even though the experience is wonderful for me, she and dad are dealing with it in their own special way.

I wanted to scoff after that. It still didn't excuse his behaviour and as I grabbed my bag for school, I obeyed his rules of not wanting to see me. I walked right past him and headed straight out the door with little to no words, not even a utter of goodbye.

As I made my way to school, my mood slowly lit up. Much like the sunny sky that shined this fine morning, which was a rare occurrence in Minnesota with it's rainy and bipolar weather. I was just thankful that I was going to see Prince, that way we could talk it out & confine in each other.

I soon spotted him whilst entering the school grounds.

He didn't seem to notice me so I ran up to him and attacked him with a hug from behind. But he just stood there, no reaction. I didn't let that faze me so as I turned his strong toned body around to face me, I flashed him with my brightest smile.

"Hello" I said enthusiastically.

"Hi.." He answered with a blank look on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows at him in bewilderment but he started to walk off instead, making me chase after him.

"Listen, I just want to apologise for last night..I didn't think my father would get that bad and I certainly wouldn't of---" He cut me off.

"No, it's fine, these things happen..hell, I certainly can't help it if your dad isn't a nigger lover !" Prince defended, obviously upset.

"Hey, I said I'm sorry ! I'm just as upset as you are on this...you think I wanted him to treat you that way ?!" I argued. "Well it's alright because you aint gonna have to worry about this anymore, I think I'll stay away from your pretty face and white loving family for awhile" He replied suddenly, causing my face to drain pale with shock.

"Wait, what ? Prince...you're kidding, right ?!" I chuckled nervously, freaking out.

"Do I look like I'm lying ? little mama.." He said through gritted teeth, looking me straight dead serious in the eyes. I gulped, on the verge of tears. I stared at his face, looking for any sign of adoration that he had left for me. But there was nothing.

Then, he simply rolled his eyes and walked off.

Tears slowly rolled down my cheeks and that was when I decided I wasn't going to school today. I walked right out the front gates and ran right back where I came from, where a devilish person ruined everything. Where my life changed forever.
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Thankfully, my father was at work when I arrived home. My mother on the other hand, was quite surprised to see me back home within a matter of minutes. I collapsed, crying in her arms as she walked me to bed like a scared child who's just had a nightmare.

When I was finally coherent enough to speak, I told her what happened. She just silently listened as a frown appeared on her face.

"This is all his fault, he would have never dumped me if dad hadn't of been so rude..he down right insulted him" I sniffed. "Oh darling, I hoped this wouldn't cause friction between you and him..but you have to remember, this is your first time..you'll have plenty of boyfriends to look forward to in the future !" She tried to comfort, making me shake away from her hug.

"But I don't want another boyfriend, mom..I want Prince..you don't understand, he made me feel so special.." I wept. "He didn't..did he ?" My mother shook.

"Did what ?" I asked.

"Take your virginity"

"That's what you're so concerned about ?! No ! he didn't..you happy now ?!" I exclaimed. "Now I know you're upset dear, but there's no need to raise your voice.." She warned me gently. I looked at her, still stunned by her question. As if that was the most important thing.

I mean, it was..in a way. I often wondered and looked forward to that day. I had hoped that maybe our first date would've lead to such things but our chance was gone now.

"I'll leave you be for now, let you have some time to gather your thoughts..." My mother quietly spoke as she got up to leave the room. She stopped on her way out and turned back to face me. She glanced at me briefly then looked down at the floor as if she was deep in thought.

"We'll keep this a secret, just between us..I don't think your father needs to know anyway" She shrugged with a weak smile. I returned the same smile back with a nod. She closed the door, leaving me to deal with the sudden heartbreak of my first love.

That's when I broke into tears, again.
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Ok, you all now have the right to hate me. I hate me too.
Bet you weren't expecting that though, haha. Prince has a case of the grumbles but is he really all that upset ? Or is he hiding something...

('when doves cry' is the song above, it fits the tone well, lol)