He doesn't want me

Chapter 62-Irony

So sorry for the long wait

It was raining outside the clouds dropping loud crystal tears over the pavements making the sky look like a black blanket that hovers slightly above everything below

We decided that we'd watch a movie in the cinema till the rain pass so we sat few rows away from the big bright screenwithout me really watching,

only my eyes on the screen without me deciphering what was happening cause my everything else was focused  on the person beside me

Raven made a move beside to get a handful of popcorn on the bucket in my lap making crunching sounds as he ate but I'm not talking about him

I'm talking about who I usually talk about Alpha freaking Xavier Black, he was steady beside like a frozen statue chiseled to perfection

I inched closer to Raven wanting nothing more than to escape his radiating presence that clenched my healing heart making it want to burst back to its broken shards

Raven sensing my discomfort raised the movable arm rest so that he can pull me closer to him I breathed out gratefully I wiped the popcorn grease at the corner of Raven's lips laughing softly

Alpha Xavier shifted a little beside me to put his arm around Jenna I was annoyed over the fact that I find it annoying

Why can't I just stop caring? Why am I so hopeless? When will I stop being so stupid?

Raven startled me by whispering low in my ear "I hate their pizza filled guts"

I smiled lazily "I do too" I said back both meaning it and not meaning it at the same time

"Want to get out of here?" He asked me I nodded and told him that he can get the car while I headed for the bathroom

We bid our goodbyes to Jace and his mate ignoring the other two  "Rainy days like this is perfect for cuddling in bed" Raven joked as an excuse for our early departure

I narrowed my eyes at Raven while he shrugged in a teasing manner I pushed him out of the cinema and once out went to the bathroom

I looked at myself at the mirror as i washed my face trying to clear my hazy mind

I went out of the bathroom listening to my own footsteps

"Hey" I was surprised at the voice that spoke behind me

I looked at Alpha Xavier his hands on his jeans' pockets I cleared my throat trying to swallow back my heart that jumped to my larynx with the mere sound of his voice

"Hi..." I said "It's raining" I whispered putting my arms around myself looking at the roof

Obviously... I wanted to curse myself

"I know" he whispered back the softness of his voice sending shivers through out my whole body

I walked towards the main entrance of the mall where Raven will meet up with me with the car

"Good movie huh?" I said trying to push away the depressing silence that wanted to befall upon us

"I haven't even notice what movie was on" he said casually I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding

"Me neither" I admitted he chuckled deeply at that and I tried not to go weak

"We need to talk" he said as we reached the moving doors that opened for us

I faced him and the gnawing cold wind held me in a freezing embrace

"About what?" I asked looking at my shoes

"About..." he trailed off as if lost for words "about... I don't know...I just I want to talk to you" he said his voice laced with frustration

I shrugged non chalantly "then talk" I said my eyes still at my shoes as if they're  the most interesting thing in the world

"I wanted to apologize" he started "I'm sorry about what we did, for everything that happened. I never meant to hurt you" he said his voice embroidered with sincerety

I closed my eyes tightly when I felt his fingers on my chin raising my head "Look at me" he said and I opened my eyes

Blue meeting gray in a look of the eyes "But you did, you hurt me" I said "You always do" I added stepping back away from him

He took a deep intake of breath "I'm sorry" he said again I shook my head bitterly "You can't apologize to someone for not being able to love them back" I said my eyes prickling with tears that I've been trying to hold back

"You can't apologize for wanting someone else you can't apologize for breaking me heart because at the end of the day it won't change a thing you still won't love me you'll still want her and my heart would still be bro-" before I could finish he grabbed my arm and pulled me to his chest

His arm the encircling me as his arms settled around my waist I rested my forehead to his chest clutching the material of his shirt as I cried my pain

he ran his hands on my back soothingly his chin on the top of my head I wanted to laugh at this bitter-sweet irony that he comforts me from this pain that he had caused

"Scaredypup?" Just like that I stepped away from his warmth and felt cold and alone again I sniffed not looking at Alpha Xavier again I gave Raven a forced smile and dragged him towards the car

"Are you okay?" Raven whispered softly cupping me tear stained cheek

I shook my head and he pinched my cheek lightly "but you will be" he told me

I nodded in total belief "we both will" I told Raven in declaration.