He doesn't want me

Chapter 67-Monster

I took a bath, my neck felt tender and raw after which I existed the door to find Raven and Jenna and Alpha Xavier silently sitting on the couch in the living room

They all looked at me and I gulped Raven stood up looking at me worriedly "Are you okay?" He asked I nodded my head uncertainly

he tilted my head and cursed under his breath "He really did it" he said shaking his head

My lips quivered and I bit my lip taking a shaky breath Jenna looked distraughted her eyes were blades on my neck
I lowered my eyes sitting on the couch unable to look at Alpha Xavier's eyes

"This changes things, doesn't it?" Raven said beside me

Jenna closed her eyes and buried her face on her hands "Why would it? It was just an accident he was drunk for Fuck's sake!" she said her voice muffled by her palms I flinched

Raven tensed beside me I held his hand tightly, he smiled at me sympathetically

Alpha Xavier stood up "Can we talk?" He asked but before I could answer he was already dragging me out of the door

he sat at the hood of his car while I shifted from foot to foot awkwardly

"I'm sorry" he whispered I snapped my eyes up to meet his "You should be" I glared "You marked me without my consent, you kept telling me that you love Jenna, you wanted to mate her dammit! and now you ruined the littlest chance of me moving on all because of this" I said tear stinging my eyes as I pointed at the mark on my neck

his face remained emotionless and I grumbled with irritation slumping against the hood of his car 2 feet away from him

I crossed my arms fixing my glasses "So," i said putting my feet against the gravel "What do we do now?"  I asked my hands on my jacket

"Well i guess you're stuck with me now" he said bumping my shoulder against his arm I laughed shaking my head

"That's all you have to say for yourself?" I said with dissapointment

"No, really there's nothing else that we can do, we have to give each other a chance" he said looking at my neck

my heart slammed so hard in my chest that i thought that my ribcage woukd break it took him this long to finally say this

i'm happy i really am but in a way i still felt kind of sad how this isn't happening because he want it to but rather because he has no other choice

"what about you and jenna?" i asked not in a menacing way but with pure curiousity

he looked ahead his eyes and everything else about him distant he looked for the first time since we were 4th graders heart broken

I never thought that he'd be that type but just looking at his cold empty eyes I know that deep inside pain so intennse is clawing away his entire being

"are you sure about this?" i asked him he took a deep breath "No" he answered "but its my fault, and what else could we do? you could die" he said

that's true most wolved that gets marked by their mates and still chose to defy the bond end up loosing their wolves, commiting suicide or end going crazy

"you are such an idiot" i told him he nodded

For some reason instead of feeling sad or happy even i just felt so much pity

pity for myself for alpha Xavier for jenna and raven.

we really are a pathetic bunch

so we slowly walked back to the house to see that raven and jenna haven't said a single word to each other

"jen" alpha xavier said he said her name in a whisper and with so much affection that you'd just know that he really with all his heart loves her

jenna's eyes met alpha xavier's and with just one look it appears as if she already knows

the look on her face pinched my heart, she looked liked her whole world just crashed over her in all honesty she cried the way my mom cried when my dad died

and it seemed so heartbreaking to watch that i had to close my eyes jenna ran to alpha xavier hugging him with all her might chanting "NO,no no" over and over again

for some reason in a sick masochistic way i admired the kind of love they had for each other, the kind of faith and defiance that they had for keeping strong against all odds

being the one that will ruin them makes me feel like a monster but I don't know what else to do as they hugfed each other both of them shedding tears looking like they just wanted to be one person made me love and hate the both of them more

Jenna and Alpha Xavier left driving away saying that they still need to talk things out

a sullen silence was left for me and raven we are both siting at the couch side by side not saying a thing

He turned his body towards me "Happy birthday scaredypup" giving me a real yet sad smile

with everything that's happened it felt weird that i forgot my own birthday