I'm Screaming I love You So (Tayley)

I've seen love die

Chapter 5:

Hayley’s POV:

I slowly opened my eyes. They felt so heavy. I wanted to continue sleeping so I cuddled up in the blankets and tried to go back to sleep. Suddenly the whole room filled up with the smell of coffee. I quickly shot my head up sitting up in the bed. I was slightly confused. I rubbed my eyes with my palm of my hands. I looked around the room and quickly realized where I was. Taylor’s house.

 I inhale deeply remembering how last night went. How he put me before him, no one has ever done that for me. I realized that last night he could have easily called Gabby to come over but for some reason he chose to call me. Maybe she was busy or did that never cross his mind. I shook my head at the thought and made my way downstairs to find Taylor sitting on a bar stool by the breakfast bar drinking something out of a mug which I assumed to be coffee.

I leaned against the entrance of the kitchen just getting lost in my own thoughts. I thought about what it would be like to just walk up to him and kiss him. I thought about how much damage I would do to our friendship. I mean last night he did say that we were just friends. I knew that I had to get over him. The silence of the house made me realize that I never lost him because I never had him. And I had to realize that love is something that comes so natural and not forced. But his love was for someone else.

“Coffee?” I nodded hopping up onto the counter. I dangled my feet in midair which made him smile. “Sleep well?” He asked as he handed me the mug. I smiled at him and answered with a yes. “Listen,” we both said at the same time which made me laugh.

“You first.” I said as he nodded and continued to speak.

“About last night, you seemed pretty upset when I said that we were friends.” My eyes quickly widen, I didn’t think he caught that.

I shook my head trying so hard to hide my face. “I was just probably tired. I don’t even remember saying anything at all. My brain must have been asleep.” He smiled at me which I returned.

“If you ever want to tell me something just please don’t hesitate to….” I nodded at him as he continued to talk.

Funny thing is that I was lost in his eyes. He was talking but I just kept drowning in my thoughts. Whenever he would say the word feel: I felt like he was my everything, when he would say the word life: I would think about a life with him. He took my hand in his as he gave me a sympathetic smile. Which made me feel like I broke down crying on the inside. Even though everything I was imagining was nothing my fiction, I let my mind wander so far that to me it was real, he made me feel alive. All these false thoughts I was putting in my head made me fall in love with him all over again.

Taylor’s POV:

Hayley went home right after we had coffee. She said something about her going to see her mom. I called Gabby over and she agreed to come.

The doorbell rang and my heart skipped a beat. I basically hopped off the couch and ran to answer the door. I opened the door and welcomed her with a soft kiss on the lips. But this kiss felt different. My lips weren’t tingling like all the other times.

She walked in not bothering to look up. She made her way to the couch and I went to sit in next to her. Something was off. She seemed tense. I looked at her as I wrapped my arm around her only to have her wiggle her shoulders from beneath me. I sighed calling her name but she didn’t bother to look up at me. I made my way to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

I lifted her chin a bit so that now we were making eye contact. I noticed her eyes seemed to be puffy like if she was crying. I took her hands in mine as she let out a sigh.

“I think we need a break.” She said suddenly. My eyes instantly became watery as those words kept ringing and echoing in my ear.

“What?” was all I managed to get out.

“I’m not breaking up with you Taylor, I just feel that we are going into different directions and we are drifting apart. Maybe a break will be exactly what we need to figure out what we want to do.” She said looking back down at the ground.

I removed my hands from hers and instantly felt my whole body fill with anger.

“And what Gabby? What are you going to do? Find an excuse and just leave!?” I felt my voice raising but I couldn’t control my anger or sadness.

“Taylor...” she said a bit more calmly.

“No Gabby, what did I do wrong? Tell me!”

“It’s nothing you did.”

“Oh no, please enlighten me on what is it exactly that made you come to this conclusion!”

“Please Taylor calm down.”

“NO! You know damn well that I have always forgiven you, not matter what I always forgave you.”

She sat quietly on the couch not bothering to look up. I let out a shaking breath as my whole face became wet with the tears that were escaping my eyes.

“I’m really sorry Taylor, I just... I just don’t love you the way I used to anymore.”

I looked up at her as she tried to wipe a tear off my face.

“Don’t Gabby, just don’t try to make me feel better.” I said pulling my face away from her reach.

She sighed. “I hope you can one day forgive and maybe we can be friends?”

“Friends?” I said roughly wiping away my tears as my anger rose up once more. “A friend I can forgive easily, but you, I love you!”

I placed my face in hands out of my own frustration. Quietly sobbing into them slighty shaking with anger and sadness. 

“I’m sorry Taylor, I really am.” She said placing a small kiss on my head. The next thing I heard was footsteps, the front door closing, her car door close, and the sound of the engine fading in the distance.

I looked up to find that indeed she had left. I wiped my tears once more as I looked at the time on my phone. A picture of Gabby and I flashed on the screen. My anger level rose up again and I tossed my phone across the room shattering the screen. But at that point I really did not care.

I found myself subconsciously walking out the door and making my way down the streets of Nashville.  I walked with my feet guiding me and my thoughts making me feel sadder than I have ever thought possible.

After about almost an hour walk, i crossed the street and found myself walking up to the front door of Hayley’s house. I sighed softly knocking on the door. I stood back taking a deep breath as the front door swung open.