I'm Screaming I love You So (Tayley)

It's time to look forward

Chapter 7:

Taylor’s POV:

A whole two weeks have pass since mine and Gabbs’ brake up. At first the time was eternal and the nights were especially brutal. At nights I would stay up wondering if I was ever going to wake up to the smell of her perfume on my pillows or the smell of her cooking. Within a few days the news spread like wild fire.

Everyone said that it would be a good thing for me and that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. But yet everything I heard or saw reminded me of her. It was just some of my darkest days. There was really no time that I didn’t think about her and it hurt to think that no one understood how hard it was for me to still be in the same couch she left me. I wondered why life hurt so much without her.

Her goodbye kept ringing in my ear. And sometimes I would talk to the silence just to fight it off.

Every day that past felt like I could breathe again. And the one day that Hayley came over she decided that it would be best if we got out of town for a bit. We met up with Adam and even got some time in the studio to record some songs and put them out to the fans. I couldn’t be happier to get out of these four walls and just leave.

Jeremy was to go off to England to help Kat bring some stuff over since their wedding day was getting closer and closer. Now I found myself sitting in an airport lobby await to board a plane to LA with Hayley by my side.

I looked over to my left to see her sitting on the floor reading some book. I smiled at her and silently thanked her for being so understanding with me and not pressuring me to move on with my life. I felt my stomach flip when she turned and flashed me a smile. I got up and made my way to sit next her but was stopped by a familiar face. Gabby.

“Hi Taylor.”

“Uh... yea, hi.” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I glanced over at Hayley and saw her mouth slowly become an o at the sight of who I was talking to.

She slowly made her way over and said that she was headed for coffee. I put in my request and went to sit as Gabby followed. I knew she wanted to talk and I wanted some sort of closure.

We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity with an empty seat between us. I glanced over at her and she finally spoke up.

“How are you?”

“To be honest Gabby,” I sighed, “I’m actually doing well.” I smiled at her and got one in return.

“I’m glad.”

This whole time without seeing you felt like an eternity and I did cry to the point where I just couldn’t anymore. I thought to myself.

“Well I have to go now,” she said standing up. I felt a pressure on my chest and couldn’t stop myself from asking:

“Why Gabby?”

She slowly sat back down and stayed silent. I looked over at her as she began to think of the right words to say.

“Really?” She asked as she couldn’t believe that I wanted to know the real reason why she left me.

I hesitated a bit but my answer was still yes.

“Gosh Taylor.” She said inhaling with her nose deeply. “I just found out that as hard as i tried, I could never love you. I thought that kissing you and giving you my body would make it all work out. So much time of us being together got to me and I was tired of it, I just began to wonder if this was really what we deserved.”

I looked down at my hands as they began to tremble. But as much as it hurt, it wasn’t as painful as before. I knew that I would never be able to fully move on without knowing what happened first. Her speaking broke my train of thought.

“I knew I could stay longer but something in me kept telling me that it was too late. The end was inevitable. And it hurts because you were everything I wanted one day. But I know that desire was just not strong enough to last. I suffer because of all the memories and I regret not ending this sooner. It hurts to know that I hurt you but I dream about you being alright and I want you to give a special someone your all.”

I just sat there thinking of the proper words to say but nothing was coming to mind.

“Well I’m leaving, and I hope you have a great trip. I won’t cry Tay because I know that tried to love you like you loved me. But for now I have to say goodbye.”

She slowly got up and was beginning to walk away. “Gabby.” I called out for her as my brain was a mess. I didn’t know what I was going to say but I knew that it was my now or never moment. I had to get these feelings out of my system in order for me to look forward. At this moment Hayley appeared in front of me smiling and handing me my coffee. I smiled back at her as her face became the only thing in my head. I knew now what I wanted to say to Gabby. Hayley went back to sit on the wall to continue her reading as Gabby sat back down.

“Just know that I’m better and there is someone by my side that is helping me move on. “ I subconsciously looked over at Hayley and a smiled formed on my face.

 “The days have gone by but I haven’t really noticed. I haven’t lost much sleep and now I know that what we had is forgotten. “

She seemed shocked at my words and to be honest I was too.

“I no longer await your calls. I don’t wake up at midnight. I don’t really think about you all that much and you are no longer something I need. And what we had is in the past.”

I didn’t want to come out as a douche or anything but this was all inside me and I have to get it off my chest. She sat there in silence just listening to my words but with every word that came out of my mouth I felt relief.

“If you were to ever call, I won’t answer. I’m alright. In fact I’ve never been better. If you honestly think that I would die without then, sadly you are mistaken. I appreciate you and all but we can’t be friends, I’m not really sorry for it either.”

She looked up at me with hurt in her eyes. I knew that I wasn’t lying. I knew that our time had come to its end and as much as I once time loved her, it was just time for me to move on to something better.

“Better yet Gabbs, just pretend you never even met me.”

And with that she got up and walked the other direction not once looking back.

I sat in the chair for a minute collecting myself a bit as the announcement to board the plane came over the intercom. I got up and put my back pack on and walked over to Hayley.

I wrapped my arm around her as she wrapped her arm around my waist. I don’t know if it was me but I liked this. I liked the feeling of having her so close to me. She looked up at me and I placed a gently kiss on her forehead.

“You alright bud?” She asked as her green eyes sparkled with the light coming from the window.

“Never been better.”

**This is just a chapter to add closure to Taylor’s relationship. Tayley will happen soon. ;) **