I'm Screaming I love You So (Tayley)

The tragedy, it seems unending

Chapter 14:

Taylor’s POV:

As the nurse wiped away the gel from Hayley’s stomach I held her hand. A smile escaped my face as I held a picture of the ultra sound in the other. All I could see was a blob or what Hayley called it, our bean. As much as I was fearful of the future, I am starting to take Hayley’s advice and just focus on the present, which seemed pretty bright from where I stood.

“Can I see it?” Hayley asked as I nodded and handed her the ultrasound.

“She’s so beautiful.” She said letting out some tears of joy.

“She?” I asked almost surprised, “it’s just starting to grow, it can be a boy.” I said almost in defense, but I knew that I wanted a girl just as much as a boy.

“Well whatever it is, I just want it to be healthy.” She said as I nodded and took the ultrasound from her.

I cuddled in the bed with Hayley just staring at the ultrasound letting my mind consume me with the idea of a little baby. I smiled thinking about having a family. I always wanted to chase the kids around the backyard during the summers. Teach them how to play guitar before they can even walk or talk. Play soccer, take them fishing, throwing family BBQs, trips to Disneyland, and just everything that comes with the idea of being a father.

Which also includes the bad. Like dealing with sleepless nights because the baby is sick. Having them climb into my bed during thunderstorms. Having to deal with their first heartbreak and those dreaded teenage years. All to which at this moment I couldn’t be any happier or excited to welcome into my life.

Hayley’s yawning broke me from my thoughts as I smiled down at her.

“You sleepy?” I asked as she gave a small nod and rubbed her eye.

“I could use a nap as well.” I said placing the picture on the side table. I sat up about to make my way to the recliner that was next to the bed. She grasped my arm lightly making me look over at her.

“Can you just sleep with me?” She asked with puppy eyes to which I couldn’t say no to.

I nodded climbing into to bed cuddling up with her. I closed my eyes for a few minutes trying to get some sleep. Just as I was about to fall into a deep sleep, I heard Hayley begin to speak but not to me, to the baby.

“Hey bean,” I heard her say, “Dr. said you’re not doing so well in there. You have a slow heartbeat for a baby who is just beginning to grow.” I could almost hear the pain in her voice and I know for a fact she was crying.

I kept my eyes closed not trying to interrupt the moment that she was having.

“But you need to stay strong baby. Daddy and I are so excited for you to be here. I promise you baby that I will do anything to keep you safe. I promise to love you with all that I have and maybe with a little bit more and I know daddy will too. You need to get better so that I could get better and we can prove to the world what a miracle you are. I don’t know if you can hear me,” she said with a small giggle “but you need to know that I’m never giving up on you. I will do anything for you even if it means giving up my own life just so that you can take your first breath.”

I held her closer to me giving her a kiss on her head. I slowly opened my eyes and saw her staring at me. I smiled at her and she did the same. She traced my lips with her thumb. I took her hand and placed a kiss on it. We locked eyes and I slightly leaned in as she did the same. Eventually our lips met with such passion.

We continued kissing for a few more minutes up until the phone rang. I felt around her without separating until I found the phone.

“It’s your mom.” I said getting in one last kiss before she took the phone from me and answered.

“Hello,” she said as I returned to lay back on the bed.

“Yea, Taylor slept over,” she said giving me a slight smile.

“Ok, yea, see you in a few.”

“Love you too.” She hung up the phone and returned the phone to the side table.

“She’s in the lobby, said she was on her way up. Just making sure I was awake.”

She said as I got off the bed and sat on the recliner. Hayley frowned at me.

“I think it would be more appropriate for us to not be cuddling in the bed when your mom walks in the room.” I said as she stuck her tongue out at me.

The door swung opened and I stood to great Christi with a hug.

“How you feeling, baby?” She said taking a seat next to Hayley’s head lightly stroking her hair.

“I’m doing good mama.”

I stood at foot of the bed awkwardly scratching the back of my neck.

“I think I am going home and rest for a bit. Take a shower while I’m there.” I said going over to the recliner picking up my jacket and phone from the nightstand.

“Thank you Taylor,” I heard Christi say.

“Anytime.” I walked over to Hayley and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be back later.” I said as she nodded at me with a smile on her face.

I ended up taking a cab to Hayley’s house to retrieve my car. And after that I made my way to my house to take a shower and get something to eat. I ended up having subway since it was on my way home. As soon as I finished I jogged up the stairs and into my bedroom. I took a quick shower and changed into some jeans and a regular tank.

I laid in bed for almost an hour and realized that I couldn’t get any rest without knowing that Hayley’s was ok and lying next to me. I sighed climbing off bed and put some shoes on.

I made sure everything was locked and packed a bag preparing to stay the night at the hospital again.

I locked my front door and jogged to my car turning on the ignition making my way to the hospital.

I listened to some good ole Jimmy Eat World while I drove and before I knew it, I was there.

I found a parking almost near the entrance and made my way inside. When I walked in, I past the lobby and was making my way towards the elevators when I noticed the gift shop. Out of my own curiosity I walked in. I browsed around the shop passing the get well cards, get well mugs, and balloons until I found something that I knew would make Hayley smile.

I quickly picked up the teddy bear with a yellow bow on it. The bear had the word “Baby” written on the bottom which made me smile and feel all warm inside.

I paid for the teddy bear refusing a bag since I was going to surprise her with it.

I walked into the elevator and pressed the number 8. I waited to get to my floor as I kept a tight grip on the teddy with a smile on my face.

The doors opened and I walked down the hallway until I turned to get to her room.

Once I turned the corner I saw Christi sitting on a chair looking at the closed door to Hayley’s room with tears in her eyes.

I felt my breathing become harder as I subconsciously dropped the teddy bear.