Alexa. (#1)

(40)

WHAT? 40 CHAPTERS? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? Thank you guys for sticking up with me till now, without you i wouldn't have done it, thanks you again. Okay, on with the chapter, please.

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'June is coming over with me, okay?'

This was what I woke up to; a text from Noah saying that June was coming. The thought made me fidget; why does she want to see me? Like, I love her and all, but, something seems fishy. I was sitting right now in the bed, having yet another dosage of the medication. June would have to wear a mask when she comes here because of the medicine. Yesterday, mom took the letters and she put them in my room after I begged her not to open any of them till it was time. She argued a lot, saying she should know everything and what if I wrote inappropriate things to Noah, which I laughed at. But, she did it anyways; reasons why you should love your mom 101. I was about to close my eyes to take a nap when someone knocks on the door. The door opens and June comes in, wearing the mask.

"Alexa?" she says, the mask masking her voice. I smile at her weakly as she rushes in and hugs me tightly.

"I am so sorry, Lex." She says as a few tears slip from her eyes onto my hospital gown. I pat her back gently as she takes a seat on the chair beside the bed.

"How are you doing?" she asks as she pats my arm.

"I am doing really well, they are trying this medication on me, saying it'll make me last longer, but I don't know." I say with a shrug. "How are you?" I add.

"Well, I cried, I am gonna be honest. I cried when Noah told me. Why didn't you say in the first place, Alexa?" she says.

"It would've changed everything! You guys now treat me like a kicked puppy or something, always following it around, afraid it would fall. I didn't want that!" I say with a laugh. She chuckles while shaking her head.

"Now I know why he loves you." she says, with a secret smile on her face.

"What?" I say, dumbfounded.

"Why Noah loves you? My brother, I guess you know him as your boyfriend." She says, laughing.

"Why?" I ask, biting my lip.

"Your laugh, your smile, I guess. It's like sunshine, the rays getting inside your soul as if it's a window. It's getting in with no right. Even if you close the curtains the light would still be there. It's weird but it's like this case. I am being stupid, I know." She says. I smile and shake my head before holding her hand in mine.

"How do you feel about all of this?" I ask.

"Angry, sad, I don't know. I can't help but feel pity." She says as she looks down and plays a bit with her hands. "Like, knowing that some people- who highly don't deserve to live- can do so and you can't is just infuriating me. You deserve more in this world, I know it. I just, hate this. I shipped you guys! You saved my brother, I can't repay this in any means, and here you are, dying, and I am just sitting here, being useless. That's exactly what Noah feels as well. And it kills me to see him this hurt. He deserves nothing from this. No one does." She says as a few tears slip from her eyes.

"June, June, stop crying. You shouldn't cry at all. We can't control this. Look, I am taking medication right now. Derek is saying that it may make the process delayed or whatever. Please, do not do this to yourself. You will never get rid of me this easily. I'll still be here and annoy the hell out of you. Don't give up. Promise me, you'll move on. Okay?" I say as I pat her hand. She nods quickly as her eyes let a few tears slip.

"What are you planning to do? How much do you have left?" she says as she bites her lip.

"If the medicine doesn't work, I have 2 weeks." I mumble as I look at my lap. She gasps as she hugs me gently.

"This isn't fair." She says.

"Life isn't fair." I say as I pat her head gently. "But hey, look at the bright side; I might live longer because of this." I say, pointing to the IV in my arm. She nods but her eyes gave in and showed sadness. "Stop worrying." I say as I pat her cheek again. She nods for one last time before sitting again.

"How is school going? You're going to grade 9, right?" I say, changing the subject.

"Yes, I am, there is this one hell of a cute boy in my class who I have a humongous crush over, he's so cute." She says with an excited glint in her eyes. I laugh at her silliness as she continues talking about the boy. A knock was sounded as a nurse gets in and checks up on me.

"How are you feeling, Alexa?" she says, her eyes smiling at me.

"Good, actually, great." I say with a grin. She checks the flow of the medicine before nodding.

"Well, that's great news to all of us." She says with another smile before getting out.

"Well, did you ever have a boyfriend?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"And you think Noah would let a boy come near me closer than 5 feet away? Wow, he'd be either asleep, beaten up or dead." She says with a laugh before paling as she realizes she mentioned death in front of me. I laugh at her joke as she visibly relaxes.

"And she will never have one till it is college." Someone says. I look up and see Noah wearing a mask as well as he enters. He hugs me gently before sitting down next to June.

"Hey, Moonlight." I say with a secret smile. He furrows his eyebrows.

"Moonlight?" he says with a raised eyebrow.

"You call me Sunshine, I'll call you Moonlight." I say with a shrug. He smiles as June fake gags.

"Guys, all the lovie-dovie shit, no!" she says. I laugh as well does Noah before silence covers us.

"How are you doing today? Is it strong as yesterday?" he says, worry shining in his eyes.

"It's not as strong, and I am feeling amazing, just a bit dizzy. I haven't eaten anything for 2 days, I keep throwing up." I say, my face going a bit pale at the memory.

"Does is still hurt to puke?" June asks. Hold up, how did she know? "Noah told me." she adds when she sees my confused face.

"Sometimes, but I am a big girl, I can handle it, don't worry." I say with another smile. Noah's face shows hurt as he whispers something to June, she nods understandingly before getting up and taking a 10 dollar bill from his pocket.

"Time for snacks." She says before bolting outside. I laugh as Noah looks at me in awe.

"You're so strong." He says in a strained voice and a tearful expression.

"Not stronger than you." I say with another smile. I am smiling a lot today I am starting to get worried.

"What happened yesterday?" he says as he leans and rests his head against my thigh.

"The food tastes as if it was a blatant thing; as if you're chewing the color grey." I say. He sighs as raises his head.

"I wanna take you out. For all time's sake." He says. I nod eagerly.

"I'd be delighted. When?" I ask.

"Tomorrow. Wear something fancy." He adds. I nod and pull his head up and towards me for a kiss. He kisses me back softly yet in a firm way; as if he was scared to let me go but can't get a hold on me either.

"I love you." he says as he rests his head on my stomach, a few tears slipping from his eyes onto my hospital gown.

"I love you, too." I say in a strained tone as my own eyes fill with tears. My, I caused him so much pain. We both just lay there in each other's arms; afraid to let go.

I was afraid if he did I would fall.

And this time I might not get up again.