I'll Protect You

Chapter 21

Trigger warning for later in this chapter.

Chester POV
I took a boiling hot shower as soon as I got home. I also threw my blood soaked boxers in the trash. I wanted to forget everything about this night. My skin turned bright red almost as soon as I stepped foot in the shower. I scrubbed vicariously at my skin. I noticed blood running down my inner thighs and leg. I started crying. Everything about my life was fucked. I shouldn't be here. I should just kill myself.

I got out of the shower and wiped off the mirror. I hated looking at my reflection. I was weak. The more I looked at my reflection the angrier and more disgusted I became with myself. The bruise on my neck was a very dark purple color. It would take a long time to go away. I put on some fresh clothes and walked into the kitchen.

"I made you some soup." Mike kissed my cheek.

"Thanks."

"I'm so sorry about how I've been acting lately. I never meant anything I said. I love you." Mike pulled me into a tight hug.

"I love you too." I whispered feeling tears spring into my eyes.

Mike and I ate our soup while he stared at me, smiling. I didn't eat much. My throat hurt and I was too distraught to eat. I laid down on the bed and rested my head on Mike's chest, my arm gripping his shoulder and our legs intertwined. Mike started quietly humming a song to himself, I'm guessing he thought I was asleep. I decided to pretend to be sleeping, hoping I'd be able to hear Mike sing.

"I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight."

I felt tears come into my eyes again as I heard Mike sing. The song was beautiful. Mike's voice was beautiful. I wished he'd sing more often. I pulled myself closer to him. For once in a long time I felt somewhat okay.

Mike POV
I knew Chester was awake. He can't lie to save his life. I purposely sang that song I created. Not long after Chester left I found a blade with blood on it. I figured Chester had been cutting himself. My poor baby boy.

"I know you're awake." I muttered into his neck.

"No I'm not."

"I think you are."

"I think you're wrong."

I smiled and pulled him closer to me. I knew something more was going on with Chester. Something else happened at the park, I can just feel it. I wanted to ask Chester what really happened, but I don't know how he'd react. I sighed softly. I ran my fingers through Chester's hair. To which he nuzzeld his head against my hand. I fell asleep soon after Chester did.

I was woken up to Chester screaming and twisting violently.

"Chaz. Chaz, come on. Wake up. It's just a dream, wake up." I shook him lightly. It took a long time, but I eventually got him to wake up.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Totally." He replied.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Mike."

"So, what were you dreaming about?" I said awkwardly.

"Nothing new." He replied, dismissing the subject.

Chester POV
I looked in the mirror as I got ready for school. The bruise on my neck wasn't going away anytime soon. I grabbed a jacket that would cover my neck and zipped it all the way up.

"You ready, Chazzy?" Mike hugged my from behind and I jumped.

"Yeah," I breathed out. "Just..just don't do that again, please."

Mike made a pouty face then kissed my cheek. Everything has been freaking me out lately. Like people accidentally touching me, Mike calling me by one of my nicknames, even him hugging me sometimes is enough to make me freak out. I bit my lip as Mike drove. I wasn't sure if I could deal with being around people at school. I somehow got through the day.

"Wanna grab some food?" Mike rubbed little circles with his thumb on my hand.

"I'm fucking starving."

"Well, you are anorexic. I can imagine you'd be hungry." Mike laughed.

"I'm not anorexic, asshole." I smiled.

"Sure about that?"

"Yes, Mike. I'm very sure I'm not anorexic."

"Admitting you have a problem is the first step in recovery."

"Why do I even hang out with you?" I shook my head.

Mike pulled into the drive-thru at a Burger King and ordered our food. The entire time I was stealing Mike's fries as he drove. What else are boyfriends for? When we got home Mike took my fries and gave me the small amount he had left. I got up to use the bathroom when my phone vibrated.

"How are you today? Sore?" I felt nauseous as I read the message.

"Leave me alone."

"Again with the attitude? That didn't work out so well for you last time."

"I'm sorry." I quickly replied, hoping he wouldn't punish me. God, I couldn't take another night like last time.

"Where are you?"

"With Mike."

"I don't know where that is dumbass."

"********" (<- address)

"I might have to visit for the holidays, my little whore."

I shut my eyes tightly. I couldn't handle this. It was too much. I needed a way out. I looked in the medicine cabinet for my razors, but they weren't there. I took my shaving razor and broke it open. My thighs were a bloody mess by the time I stopped.

"Were you dying in there?" Mike smiled as I walked into the living room.

"Only my soul and self-esteem." I smiled passing it off as a joke. "Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll keep me safe, right? I'm going to be okay, right?"

"As best as I can."

Thoughts on where this is headed?