alive ↠ l.p (complete)

Chapter 17

Liam's POV-

The week after my revelation, I decided it was time to go see Amy and tell her. No matter how much I want to stop the therapy sessions, I can't because I know they're doing something, even thought it's not a lot. I got in my ca and the whole way to her office I thought about how to bring it up. I settled on diving in and not letting her speak so I could get it out before she asked me how I'm doing.

I walk into her office and lay on the couch, propping myself up so I could see her at her desk. "Uh-I have a confession to make. I know last week didn't go over so well, but I'm ready to talk now." I said before she could even open her mouth to say hi. "Alright, whenever you're ready." "Well-uh, that dangerous habit I had picked up was- was self harm. I got home after our session last week and my friends confronted me about it, saying that you had called them. But yeah, I guess that's it."

She blinked a little before she finally nodded. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a deep breath. "Have you stopped?" "Yeah, I stopped after our last session. I had gone to my car after I stormed out of here and tore into myself, but all that's over now. When I got home I had Zayn take any type of blade I had and toss it because I can't trust myself."

"Harry gave me a wake up call, he told me some really personal things and I realized that in the end, I can't bleed out my sins, that in the end, cutting myself up wasn't gonna make my situation any better. I really do want to get better, but obviously what I'm doing now isn't working out for me, it's not making my life better."

"It's been four months since I've had any kind of drug in my system, other than the meds but that's clearly different since those are used to make me better. But my mind isn't in the right place, and I know I need to take the extra step to heal myself completely, and that means leaving and getting legitimate treatment."

Amy's POV-

Liam really has come very far since he started seeing me. His actions are normal, given his situation, but I can tell he genuinely wants help. I've never seen a patient like him before, and I'm very hopeful that he will choose to go to a treatment facility to better himself, I know it's going to be hard for him to leave his friends and family behind, but to get better that's what he needs to do.

"When are you willing to start treatment, if at all?" I asked, and I felt the air change. "Uh- I want to say goodbye to everyone, but I want to go soon. Could I spend this week packing and mentally preparing myself, then next week I'll be ready to go?" "Of course, this is all at your own pace Liam, I'm not going to force you to go because that won't fix anything." "Thank you, for everything. I know I've been a mess, but thank you for giving me time." "It's in the job description, I can't force you to do anything."

I gave him the paperwork the facility would need and told him to bring them by my office after he filled them out. He stared at the stack for a long time, commenting about how that was a lot of stuff to fill out, but he'd get it done because he wanted to change, be a better person. "I'm really proud of you Liam, you've come very far since I first started seeing you." I said as he walked out the door. "Thank you, it means a lot to hear someone say that." He smiled, and softly shut the door behind him.

Liam's POV-

 I got home and Niall gave me a weird look. "Something on my jacket?" I teased, punching his arm. "What's with all the paperwork, Payno? Trying to busy yourself with another job or something of that sort?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "When Zayn gets home I'll explain, it's kind of a long story and I want to tell both of you at the same time." "What about the others?" "I'll tell them when I see them next, right now I only want you two to know."

When Zayn got home we all sat in the kitchen and I spread the paperwork across our small table. "Treatment Center?" Zayn questioned, picking up the paper at the top of the stack. "Yeah. I want to go there, to get better. I'm not getting better here, I have too many options here, and that's why all this stupid shit keeps happening. Me going is what's best for everyone, it'll help us all reast easier at night." I explained, running a hand through my hair. 

"This is-this is amazing. I want you to get better, we all do. We're gonna miss you, but at least everyone knows it's all for the best. You can actually heal there, because you won't be exposed to all the bad things that are here. I've kind of been waiting for you to come home one day and say this, and I guess tonight's the night." Zayn said, a hopeful look on his face.

"I'm not leaving just yet. I'm gonna be here till next week so I can say bye to all of you and so you can throw me some huge going away bash so that I'll miss you even more." I chuckled, throwing an arm over both of their shoulders. "We're still best friends forever though, like oh my freaking jeebus!" I cried in my most over zealous, girly voice. We all had a good laugh at that, which made breaking this new to them a lot easier.

I called Del before I went to bed, telling her that I had news for her. She told me she'd come by tomorrow so I could tell her. It made me nervous to tell her that I was leaving, because I really don't want her to be alone. I know the guys will watch over her, but sometimes that isn't enough.

I got up from the comfort of my bed to take my medicine, which the doctor has had to readjust three times since I've had to take them, but who the hell's keeping count? I went to sleep peacefully, and for the first time in four months, I didn't have a single nightmare.