CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

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Aira's P.O.V.

I had no choice, but to stay with Tao as of the moment. Escaping will be a futile attempt, anyways. I sighed heavily, hugging my knees to my chest as the cold breeze continues to touch my skin, and thinking of the others that were left behind at home— Sehun, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and especially Kyungsoo.

I know they were confused as hell, hurt and betrayed so much.

I can't help but feel bad for myself and blame myself for all the stupidity I did.


I looked up to see the dark sky with only the full moon sending its own moonlight to us as our light. Stars were covered by the clouds, making the sky lifeless and dull.

I sat here in the cold and dark forest with Tao who is just a few meters away from me. I was feeling too empty to feel anything anymore. I was too tired to feel scared, disturbed and hurt all the time. Giving up and giving in to Tao are the only things I can do right now.

From the dark sky, I looked down to see Tao. He was into his own world. A teal energy surrounds him as he sat on the ground; an energy that weakens me somehow, or maybe I was just exhausted as hell.

I locked my gaze on him, thinking how different he was from before.

That sweet Tao who used to love hanging out with me, Eunji and Bomi. That sweet Tao who was awkwardly cute no matter what he did. That sweet Tao who was so mysterious, but never thinks of hurting the others. . .  Where is he?  Where is that sweet Tao? Why does he have to turn this way? Why can't it be just like before?

Tears fell as I reminiscence every memory I remember, especially the memories I remembered with my best friends. Their lives turned into wastes because of me.


Eunji never get the chance to fall in love with someone and achieve her goals, and Bomi failed to express her feelings to the guy she liked—to Tao.

If only you could see how horrible he is, you wouldn't want to be with him, Bomi. I thought.


I snapped out of my thoughts as soon the energy surrounding Tao was gone, and already made his way to my direction.

I looked at him in disgust as he reached near me. He was so filthy and he reeked. He doesn't smell human anymore; he smelled as if he bathe in a pile of corpses blood and flesh. Just horrifying.

Once he reached my direction, he sat in front of me and made himself comfortable. He gave off a teasing smile, "This isn't that bad, is it?" He said, looking at the sky for a second then looked at me again. "Don't worry, we are both going to have fun here. Just the two of us. We will have way more fun here compared to the happiness given to you by Sehun." He paused, immersing himself to my presence. "This will be our paradise." His words were calming, compared to his words before, but a tinge of horror and disgust filled his every word. It is not convincing. He slowly lifted his bony and bloody hand on top of mine, giving me an assurance of nothing, but happiness in this so-called paradise of him.

I looked at him directly in his black, cold, dead eyes. I gently retrieved my hand from his touch and spoke to him, "Tao. . . you know it will always be Sehun." I was calm as well, and suddenly shut his eyes to my distasteful answer for him, but before he could speak and grab my neck or anything, I started speaking again, "It's nice to see this side of you again, Tao." I gave a small smile, and he gave an odd look. "This calm side of yours. You talked like the Tao I used to know. That sweet Tao who Eunji, Bomi and I used to love. It was one perfect day when everything was going well. You have friends, you have me. You don't need vengeance, but you threw it all away for this." He avoided his gaze this time, clenching his fist and I'm already prepared to get hurt, to be in pain once again. "Are you happy right now? Are you happy that Jongin was already gone?"

"Not yet completely happy, but I will. I will be overjoyed if Sehun get killed next." He said, gritting his teeth.

I placed my fingers under his chin, and lift his face up to look at me and our gazes met. An alive and a dead gazes met.

"Can't I ever change your mind?" I blurted out the dumbest question I ever thought of in front of a demon, then I let go of his chin. I sighed as he gave me a cold stare. "Then fine. . . I gave up. . . But, let me just ask you a favor. . . Two favors." I said, confidently and he just stared. "I wanna see the real Tao. The Tao I used to know. I wanna see him."

"I am Tao. The real Tao. The human Tao you know is just an illusion, he's not real. He's nothing, but a lie!"

"Then, let me see that lie one more time." I begged. Tao doesn't want to, but I insisted him. Later, he grabbed my wrist gently and covered half of his hideous fleshy face with my hand. I looked on his other eye as he closed them for a split second, he opened them back again and slowly put down my hand.


I gasped delightfully to see him—to see Tao no longer covered in flesh. No more horrifying face. No more drought lips. No more pale and cracked skin. . . Just Tao, the teenage sweet Tao I know.

I cupped his face in my both small hands as I felt him within my reach once again. Instinctively out of joy, I hugged him tightly. "This is not an illusion. I know you're in there, within Tao. . . trapped inside of his demon form. . . I just know it. . ."

"Accept the fact, Aira. A demon's human form is just an illusion— a beautiful lie to hide the ugly truth. It was never part of a demon, it just a disguise to be able to blend in with mortals. That's it." I felt his heart from his chest to my chest after he spoke. "The same goes with Sehun. His human form is just an illusion to keep you and the others attached to him. If you think he shows his demon form to you everyday, would you and your brothers likely to stay with him at the same place you were all staying together? I think not."

Slowly, I pulled myself away from Tao as I let go from the hug. I glanced at his face to see it was returning to his true form. His demon form.

"A demon was never a mortal, Aira. What you see in Sehun as a human form was just an illusion. . . Now go ask yourself, would you still love him if he's in demon form?" He asked me, still with a calm yet threatening tone in his voice. Due that, I wasn't able to answer. "I've shown you photos of him as a demon, remember? Now, are you still willing to be him if he's a raging beast, threatening you life everyday? Stuck between life and death?"


"Dying will be a privilege as long as I'm with Sehun." I said, almost whispering. My life's is nothing, but useless now. Dead or alive as long as I get to be with Sehun in the last minutes of my life, it'll be just fine. It'll be alright.







Silence occurred after I gave my last statement. The wind started to become stronger. Animals were heard howling. Trees were seen dancing through the strong wind. Darkness were already taking over the whole forest.


I locked my gaze again on Tao and gave him an hopeful look. "That was my first favor. Now, for the second one. . ." I paused, swallowing this lump on my throat and bit my lip before proceeding, "Give Sehun and I our lost old memories. Make us remember what we never get the chance to remember. I wanna know what our past relationship is and everything that involves it."

Tao's expression is unreadable, and I couldn't seem to know he will do it or not.

I just want to know what old memories Sehun and I used to have, then knowing it all can make die in peace anytime now. Just let me know and see those memories. . .

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