The Aftermath || oh sehun || pt. 2

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

A day passed, and I have finally regained my strength. I felt like a new person. I felt stronger.

I sat on my bed with my back against the headboard as I ate my lunch. I glance at Baekhyun and Chanyeol who were talking happily on the couch. I furrowed my brows at them as I remembered their sufferings before. But then, I recalled that there were no befores with Sehun. They were nothing, but a dream.

I closed my eyes shut good for a quick second, and thump my chopsticks on the small table placed on my bed. The thump I made echoed within the four corners of my ward which made their attention shifted to me.

"Aira, what's wrong?" Baekhyun asked.

"I lost my appetite," I told them. My eyes turned to both of them, then it landed on the nightstand next to my bed. I saw Luhan's old voice recorder. I swallowed the dryness in my throat and grabbed it swiftly. "I'll listen to this." I added, waving the recorder to let them see it. I got up from the bed, and walked out of the room with a steel pole I was holding which carried my dextrose. I have to make an excuse to look for Sehun, I thought.

I heard Chanyeol called me, but I didn't turn and shut the door behind me and walked along the hallway towards the receptionist's counter first. When I reached the place, a nurse greeted me. Then she asked if I needed anything so I answered her, "Uhmm, " I cleared my throat. "I just want to ask if there's any Oh Sehun in the neurology department? I just need to talk to him. It's urgent." I said, gathering up all my courage.

"Oh Sehun?" She asked, "We'll see, ma'am. I'll check it first." She firstly skimmed through her computer first, and said there were none. So I persuaded her again to have another look, and she did. She just used up ten minutes in searching Sehun's full name in every department in the hospital, and said, "I'm sorry, ma'am. There's really no Oh Sehun in any department in this hospital." She looked at me apologetically. "Are you sure he goes here, ma'am? He might be working in different hospital though. You might want to check other hospitals too." She smiled, "I'm really sorry, ma'am."

I sighed defeatedly as if I bet my last dime and I lost in a game. That's impossible. Sehun worked here. He was here. I met him several times in this place. . . "Okay. . . Thanks, by the way." I said, dragging the steel pole of dextrose to the elevator. Once, I got inside I pressed the top button before I clenched the recorder in my other hand. Where are you, Sehun?

As soon as I reached the top floor, I went inside the only door on the left side and I got to the rooftop. The sky felt closer to my presence. The wind felt warmer. The buildings was smaller. It made me feel at ease for a good second. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. The darkness filled my vision, and slowly Sehun's solemn face came in the darkness. Sehun was standing right
in front of me—us, face each other as I felt his cold hands around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I pressed my lips together as I forced myself not to cry. I missed you, Sehun. Where have you been? Why did you leave me? I asked to a mere darkness, knowing Sehun was now gone. He's just a thought. A beautiful thought.

When I flutter my eyes open, and I saw rooftop itself and no sign of Sehun. This time, reality hit me. He was long gone. He wasn't here anymore.

Maybe, he didn't exist anymore.
Maybe, he died in reality and died in my own memories too.

With those words running around my head, I bursted into tears. I threw the recorder to ground because of the mixed emotions I felt inside, breaking and smashing into a million pieces.