Backwards // Book One

Chapter 12.

I can't concentrate the entire photoshoot. My stomach churns and my heart races. There's absolutely no way that I can be pregnant. That just can't be possible. I'm not ready to have a baby. I'm not even sure who's baby it is. Wait, I don't even know if I'm for sure pregnant.

I wrap a warm robe around my body and slump into my chair. Luckily, I'm done for the day but I have to come back tomorrow for some extra shots. I groan at the thought. As excited as I was to get to Hawaii, now I'm just ready to jump back on a plane to get home to Harry in London.

"Charlie..." Daniel murmurs, behind me.

"What Daniel?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

I'm not really in the mood to argue with him. I really just need to be left alone to gather my thoughts and calm down my nerves. That's all that I really need. I need him to go away and leave me the hell alone.

"I talked to one of the set coordinators." He says, sitting in front of me.

"Okay?" I shrug, turning away from him.

"She said that you had gained some weight..." He explains, tilting his head.

"Why the hell is she telling you that!?" I snap, leaning forward in my chair.

"I'm your manager. I get to know these things." He responds, leaning forward in his chair too.

"No, you're my manager not my husband!" I shout, quickly getting up from my chair.

"Charlie! Stop!" He yells, swinging me back around.

With my temper flaring and the excitement of the moment catching up with me, I turned around to slap him in the face. My hand whipped across his face, a cracking noise following shortly after. Vibrations of pain began to soar through my palm, spreading to my fingertips. My palm was bright red just like the new mark forming over Daniels' cheek.

Immediately, remorse overtook my body. Guilt flowed through my veins like warm blood. All of the emotions had suddenly overcome me and unfortunately Daniel was the one to get the brunt of it. I gasped at my own actions, covering my open mouth with my sore hand.

"Daniel..." I whisper, guilt spilling with my words.

"Charlie, it's okay..." He explains, softly rubbing his bright red cheek.

"No! I'm so sorry..." I whisper, gently bringing my hand to his face.

He stares down at me, his eyes full of sorrow. He must feel as bad about everything as I do because I can see it deep in his eyes. He's carrying guilt too. I'm not the only housing a deep secret.

"Charlie, we really need to talk..." He says, moving away from me.

"I know..." I nod, adjusting my robe back onto my shivering shoulders.

"How about you get dressed and I'll drive you back to your hotel okay?" He asks, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"Yeah, sure..." I nod, walking off towards my dressing room.

I feel terrible for how I've been treating Daniel but it's really just the guilt eating me inside. It's not his fault that I decided to make a terrible mistake and hook up with him while I'm completely in love with someone else. Not even just in love with someone else but married to someone else. I quickly get dressed and say goodbye to the people around set. I'll be back again tomorrow.

"Charlie..." Daniel murmurs as he opens the passenger door to his rental car.

"Thanks." I mutter, sliding in carefully.

He quickly makes his way around the car and slides in next to me. We're quiet the first few minutes, the silence marinating between us. I try not to think. I try to keep my focus on the open road ahead of us and the beautiful ocean to the side of us. It's nice to recognize the beauty of a place, even in awkward silence.

"Are you going to take a pregnancy test?" He asks, breaking the silence.

The question startles me. I'm not sure how to answer. I hadn't really thought about taking a pregnancy test. I had considered the fact that I might be pregnant but I hadn't thought as far as confirming it. Now that the question has been brought up, I guess that I should probably start about thinking about it being a real situation.

"Uh, I guess..." I shrug, staring out the window.

"Do you want me to be with you as you take it?" He asks, keeping his focus on the road ahead of him.

"No." I mutter, shaking my head.

"What are you going to tell Harry?" He asks, looking over to me.

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking back at him.

"Well, if you're pregnant, what are you going to tell him?" He asks, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm going to tell him I'm pregnant?" I shrug, rolling my eyes.

"Charlie, you and I both know that this baby could be mine just as much as it could be Harrys'..." Daniel mutters, glaring at me.

"It's not yours!" I shout, refusing to accept that it possibly could be his.

Denial.

"It could be!" He shouts back, hitting the steering wheel with the palm of his hand.

"No. If I'm pregnant, it's Harrys'. That's that." I say, shaking my head.

"Don't be in denial Charlie. That's immature..." He says, shaking his head.

"How is that immature Daniel? I have a husband. It's going to be his baby!" I shout, turning towards Daniel.

"Well sweetheart, I hate to break it to ya, but you made a mistake! You slept with me! Remember that?" He shouts back, the veins bulging in his neck.

"Unfortunately, yes! I do remember..." I mutter, shaking my head again.

"Oh, I know. Sleeping with me was so terrible..." He groans, mocking my voice.

"It actually really was because I didn't mean to do it!" I shout, becoming more and more irritated in his presence.

"Because you didn't mean to do it..." He laughs, looking out his window.

"I didn't!" I shout, leaning back into my seat.

"Then why did you?" He asks, glaring over at me.

I don't know how to answer that question. Should I lie or should I just tell the truth? The only reason that I slept with him was to get back at Harry for what he had done. Although, I never told Harry about the night that I spent with Daniel so the whole revenge scenario was kind of pointless. I don't want to tell Daniel that I felt "electricity" around him because I hadn't even really admitted that to myself yet.

I refused to believe that I held some kind of feelings for Daniel. I refused to believe that I would ever consider him anything more as just my business manager. I wanted to be married to Harry and fall back into our newlywed bliss. I wanted to forget about everything that's happened between Daniel and I. Forgetting can be one of the easiest things to do if you really put your mind to it.

"I don't know..." I whisper, my eyes fixated on him.

"That's it then? You don't know?" He asks, turning his head towards me.

"I just wanted..." I begin, shaking my head, tears brimming in my eyes.

"Just wanted what?" Daniel asks, looking at me.

"I just wanted..."

The stillness is eery at first, silence filling the car for the first few seconds. Then comes the impact. Glass shatters, flying every which way. I can hear brakes squealing in the far off distance and can feel myself spinning rapidly. Smoke slowly erupts from the dashboard in front of me and I can't force my head to turn to see Daniel. I slowly watch the smoke fill the car, then feeling it fill my lungs. Then, just like the smoke, everything turns black.

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