Backwards // Book One

Chapter 19.

The past few days have been hell. Harry hasn't answered any of my calls. This has been the longest that I've ever gone without talking to him. I'm really not sure of what to do with myself when he's gone. The only reason why I've been able to manage pulling myself out of bed the last few mornings is because of my parents visiting from America.

If they weren't here I can guarantee that I would be buried under the covers of my bed, crying my eyes out and suffocating under boxes of kleenex. Actually, that's how I am at night. Once my parents have locked themselves in the guest bedroom for the night, I lock myself in my bedroom (once the bedroom that I shared with Harry) and allow myself to have a total mental breakdown.

I haven't talked to anyone since the fight. Well, except for my parents. Francesca has called. Callum has called. Daniel has called. I don't want to speak to any of them. Especially, Francesca. She ruined everything. I never want to talk to her again or see her again. Along with everything else, the friendship that we once shared was ruined when she decided to betray me.

"Charlie?" My mom murmurs, walking into my bedroom.

"Yes?" I ask, staring at myself in the long mirror.

"Are you ready for your appointment sweetheart?" My mom asks, standing behind me.

"I guess..." I shrug.

"Aw, come on! You're going to learn more about your baby today! Isn't that exciting?" She squeals, squeezing my shoulders.

"I don't know..." I whisper, shrugging again.

"Oh, of course it is! Listen, no matter who the father is, this baby will always be apart of you! There's no denying that! I'm sure he or she will be so perfect and everything that you ever dreamed of..." My mom explains, lenaing her head against mine.

"I don't want to raise a baby alone..." I murmur, looking down at the floor.

"You're not going to have to! Your father and I will be here no matter what happens! And what about Lucy? You know that Lucy loves you!" She says, rubbing my back softly.

"I know that you guys will support me but that's a lot different than helping me raise a baby. I know Harry said if the baby is his that he'll support it but what if he doesn't? What if he hates me so much that he decided to hate our baby too?" I ask, tears welling in my eyes.

"Oh sweetheart, you know that Harry isn't that cruel. Sure, he makes mistakes but he would never hate your or the baby. He's just upset right now and needs some time..." She whispers, pulling me into a hug.

"I just want him to at least want our baby..." I cry into her shoulder.

"Oh, he does. I'm sure of it. This baby is going to be his. I just know it..." She says, smiling down at me.

"How are we going to find out?" I ask, my mind racing to how the paternity will be determined.

"There are some tests that the doctors can do..." My mom says, stroking my hair.

"Like what?" I ask, thinking of how doctors could possibly determine who the father is while I'm still pregnant.

"Oh, I don't know sweetheart. You'll have to ask your doctor today. Now, let's get going before we're late..." She says, leading me out of the bedroom.

All I can think about on the drive to the appointment is how badly I want this baby to be Harrys'. However, once I think of the bad that I have done, I can't help but think that maybe God cursed me with Daniels' spawn as some kind of cruel punishment. If I am in fact pregnant with Daniels' baby, I want nothing to do with him. I don't want his money and I definitely don't want him to be apart of our lives. I would raise the baby alone.