Backwards // Book One

Chapter 18.

My heart thumps wildly in my chest. No. This cannot be happening. I stare down at the words on the small screen. My hands are shaking as I read the words over and over again.

Oh by the way, you're not the only one to recieve a text message. If I were you, I would go check on how Harry is doing...

Harry. I need to find him. Or at least his phone. Maybe he doesn't have his phone on him. Maybe I can delete the message in time. Maybe I can stop my life from being ruined. 

I bury my phone into the bottom of my purse and quickly make my way downstairs. The house is quiet for the most part. I can hear my parents laughing and talking in the guest room down the hall but that's all that I can hear. I turn the corner into the kitchen and find Harry. He's standing in the middle of the kitchen, his eyes glued to the screen of his cell phone.

Shit.

"Harry?" I whisper, walking towards him carefully.

"Is it true?" He asks, his eyes meeting mine.

"Harry..." I whisper, shaking my head.

"I said, is it true!?" He shouts, his shrill voice scaring me.

"Can we please just talk about this?" I ask quietly.

"You're not answering the fucking question!" Harry shouts, the veins in his neck popping.

"Harry, please..." I whisper, tears filling my eyes.

"Don't! I want you to tell me the truth!" He shouts, is own eyes being blurred by thick tears.

"What in the world is going on out here?" My mom asks as she makes her way into the kitchen.

This is it. It's done. Harry knows now and my whole life is ruined. The dreams that I had about Harry and our baby were only dreams now. They would never be a reality. In the blink of an eye, my happiness was completely drained from my body.

"Tell her!" Harry shouts, pointing to my mom.

"Tell me what?" My mom asks, looking over at me.

"I'm so sorry..." I cry, shaking my head.

"So it is true?" Harry asks, nodding his head.

"Harry, I'm so sorry..." I cry again, walking towards him.

"Don't! Don't fucking touch me!" Harry shouts, backing away from me.

"Harry..." My mom whines, walking towards the both of us.

"No! You don't even know what she's done! She's ruined it! She's ruined everything!" Harry shouts, his face bright red with tears streaming down his face.

"No, I don't know what she's done but I know that whatever has happened we can figure it out..." My mom explains, her voice calm.

"There is no figuring it out! The only thing that she needs to figure out is whose baby she's carrying!" Harry shouts, pointing at me.

"What?" My mom asks, looking over at me.

"I'm so sorry..." I cry again, shaking my head.

Those are the only words that I can gather. Those are the only words that I feel. I'm not really sure of what else I can say. I'm not really sure if I can say anything that can save me anymore. I don't even really know if I'm capable of being saved by this point.

"I'm done here..." Harry murmurs, walking out of the kitchen.

"Harry, please!" I shout, following closely behind him.

"No Charlie! Don't try to make this better because you can't!" He shouts, spinning around.

"I'm so sorry! I know that I made a mistake!" I shout back, tears flooding my face.

"You made more than just a mistake Charlie! You ruined everything. There's a big difference!" Harry shouts, moving towards me.

"No, please..." I cry, grabbing on to his arm.

"Hey! What is happening here?" Anne asks as she enters the front door.

"Do you want to tell her too Charlie?" Harry asks, shrugging his shoulders.

"Tell me what?" Anne asks as she approaches us.

Suddenly all eyes are on me. Both of my parents are standing behind me and I have Harry and Anne in front of me. I feel surrounded. No matter what I do or say, I'm going to be wrong. There's no going back. Nothing will make this better. Harry is right, I've done more than make a mistake. I've ruined everything.

"Sweetheart, what is it?" Anne asks, her voice warm with concern.

"I'm so sorry..." I whisper.

"She cheated on me. She doesn't even know if the baby is mine..." Harry murmurs, his voice dry.

"What?" Anne asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yeah. Let's just go okay? I'm done here." Harry says coldly.

"Harry, please don't leave!" I shout, walking behind him.

"Ya know Charlie, you should call Daniel. I'm sure he would be happy to take you to your first appointment..." Harry whispers coldly, not even looking back at me.

"The baby could still be yours!" I shout, trying anything to get him to stay.

"You're right, it could be. If we find out that this baby is mine, I will gladly support it. But you? You're not my responsibility anymore..." Harry says, glaring back at me.

His words are a blow to my heart as he walks out the door, Anne closely behind him. I can't even begin to understand everything that's just happened. Well, of course I understand it but everything just happened so quickly. Only an hour ago everything was perfect and now everything is diminished. Nothing is left.

"Charlie?" My mom whispers behind me.

I slowly turn around and look at her. Her eyes are full of hurt. As soon as I meet her eyes, I break. I collapse onto the floor into a sobbing mess. The cool wood floors feel good against my burning skin. I can feel pain soaring through my body, causing every part of me to ache.

"Sweetheart..." My mom whispers, kneeling down next to me.

"I'm so sorry mom! I'm so sorry..." I cry, shaking my head viciously.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay..." She whispers, rubbing my back lightly.

"No! I've ruined anything!" I shout through my sobs.

"No, you didn't. Now calm down. All of this fuss isn't good for the baby..." She murmurs quietly.

"It might not even be Harrys' baby..." I cry.

"No matter whose baby this is, he or she will be loved just as much..." She whispers, pulling me into her arms.

"But that's not true..." I cry, shaking my head again.

"What do you mean?" She asks, pulling my hair away from my wet and blotchy face.

"If this baby isn't Harrys' than I don't want it..." I cry.

"Hey! None of that now. This baby is special and we're all going to love it, okay?" She says, shaking her head at me.

I watch her carefully shake her head at me. I've done so much damage. I don't know how I'll live with myself with everyone as broken as they are now. I hate myself. I hate myself for cheating on Harry. I hate myself for not wanting this baby if it's not Harrys'. I hate myself for fucking everything up.

"Samuel, do you want to help me here?" My mom asks, looking up at my dad who hasn't said a single word since the fight begun.

"No. This is too much drama for me. I'm going to go eat..." My dad murmurs, walking away from us heading towards the kitchen.

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