Backwards // Book One

Chapter 17.

The past few weeks have been crazy. Harry has been in and out of the house, traveling to all different parts of the world for work. Every time I'm left alone I slip into a slow and temporary depression. I hate it when Harry says that he has to leave again. Every time those words slip out of his mouth, my heart shatters into a million pieces. I've learned to numb the pain with takeout and cheesy romance movies. It's not a cure but it definitely helps.

Luckily, Harry will be home all next week because I have my first prenatal appointment with the doctor. As hard as this pregnancy has been so far (emotion wise) I'm actually excited for the appointment. It's a positive sign compared to my initial thoughts after finding out that I was pregnant. At first I worried that I might make a terrible mother but I think that I'm starting to actually look forward to becoming a mother.

I've already begun reading baby books and checking out baby outfits in stores. With all of the excitement in me, I can tell that Harry is at least twice as excited as I am about this baby. He's read at least three baby books already and is starting a plush animal collection in the spare bedroom that will soon become a nursery. We've already come up with a couple ideas for the nursery too.

Harry is certain that the baby is going to be a boy while I'm leaning towards a little girl. Not for the obvious reasons but because I've seen her in my dreams. She has small brown curls and bright hazel eyes. She's obviously received her curls from Harry and her hazel eyes from me. Oh, and she has the cutest toothless smile ever.

"Charlie?" Harry asks, lying in the dark next to me.

"Yes?" I ask, staring up at the ceiling.

"Do you think that I'll be a good father?" Harry asks, rolling over towards me.

"Is that a real question?" I ask, giggling lightly.

"Yes..." He murmurs into his pillow.

"I think that you'll make a wonderful father..." I say, smiling over at him in the dark.

"You really think so?" He asks, smiling lightly.

"Yes, I really think so..." I nod while smiling.

"Okay. Goodnight sweetheart..." He smiles, rolling back over.

"Goodnight..." I smile, facing the ceiling again.

Harry is going to make the perfect father. I saw him in my dreams too. He was carrying our little girl around in our garden, pointing out all of the different flowers. It was a beautiful moment. They were both smiling so wide. When I first woke up from that dream, I had actually wished it was a reality. However, I know that it will be soon and I absolutely can't wait for it to be a reality instead of just a dream.

I smile to myself, remembering the dream. For the first time in awhile, I was happy again. Daniel and I had barely talked since our awkward lunch with Francesca and when we did it was only about business. I think that Daniel was finally starting to get the message. As happy as I was about that, the only thing I'm unhappy about with Daniel is that in the past three weeks he's taken Francesca on a couple dates.

Although, I can't say much about that. If Francesca wanted to date him, she was going to. There's no way that I could ever change that because as soon as Francesca gets something in her mind it's permanent. As for Daniel, I can't tell him not to date her because he would just turn around and tell me that if it's okay for me to be happy with Harry than it should be okay for him to be happy with whoever he pleases. If he said that, he would be absolutely correct.

I shake my head and close my eyes. I just want to go to sleep and dream of Harry and our baby again. That would certainly make me wake up in a happy mood. In fact, it would make me look forward to the next day. I smile and slowly drift into a deep sleep.